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    All Forums | General Discussion

    Do you have the final say on matters or do you have to consult your gf/wife?

    SwishSwish1234
    TheGoldenGoose
    nature1970
    gfinger
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    SwishSwish1234
    SwishSwish1234
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 7:54 AM ET #1

    Me and a friend were at the pub on Friday and he told me how he was dreading hid gf dragging him along to some wine tasting and then afterwards to an art gallery, However on Saturday evening his favorite team were involved in a big game, He said he really wanted to watch that and watch it at the pub as well given how good the atmosphere would be. 

    At first i thought nothing of it but then i had to play Devils Advocate, I told him if you want to watch the game and you are also dreading going to the wine tasting and all of that, Why don't you just tell your girlfriend that? He initially laughed it off but then said he would run it by her. 

    Now i understand in a relationship you have to sacrifice some things but when he came off the phone, Which was about a 20 minute convo, He came back and told me his girlfriend really wants him to come along with her to the wine tasting and the art gallery and that she will sky + the game for him which is our equivalent of tivo and since he won't know the result of the game, They can watch the game together at home when they get back, I have to give her some credit on how she worked him there. 

    To each his own i guess, So as the thread title says, Do you have the final say on matters or do you have to consult the missus/gf? 
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    To remove first post, remove entire topic.
    Me and a friend were at the pub on Friday and he told me how he was dreading hid gf dragging him along to some wine tasting and then afterwards to an art gallery, However on Saturday evening his favorite team were involved in a big game, He said he really wanted to watch that and watch it at the pub as well given how good the atmosphere would be. 

    At first i thought nothing of it but then i had to play Devils Advocate, I told him if you want to watch the game and you are also dreading going to the wine tasting and all of that, Why don't you just tell your girlfriend that? He initially laughed it off but then said he would run it by her. 

    Now i understand in a relationship you have to sacrifice some things but when he came off the phone, Which was about a 20 minute convo, He came back and told me his girlfriend really wants him to come along with her to the wine tasting and the art gallery and that she will sky + the game for him which is our equivalent of tivo and since he won't know the result of the game, They can watch the game together at home when they get back, I have to give her some credit on how she worked him there. 

    To each his own i guess, So as the thread title says, Do you have the final say on matters or do you have to consult the missus/gf? 
     
    TheGoldenGoose
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 12:59 PM ET #2


    Sounds simple but it's true, generally speaking, whoever controls the money controls the relationship.  After 25 years of marriage I know I also have to pick my fights.  It helps to have some mutual friends you both enjoy being with but it's also imperative to get out with your own friends once in a while.  I like wine so that would have been a no-brainer for me to go with my wife.
    ~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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    Sounds simple but it's true, generally speaking, whoever controls the money controls the relationship.  After 25 years of marriage I know I also have to pick my fights.  It helps to have some mutual friends you both enjoy being with but it's also imperative to get out with your own friends once in a while.  I like wine so that would have been a no-brainer for me to go with my wife.
     
    nature1970
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 1:06 PM ET #3

    pick the battle if you start an argument hunker down for the three days to three weeks of hell case pending 
    the yelling and cold sholder no supper and all the ways she can really twist that knife so if you must have a fight it better be something huge. not whether the tube socks weren't folded correctly so to speak
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    pick the battle if you start an argument hunker down for the three days to three weeks of hell case pending 
    the yelling and cold sholder no supper and all the ways she can really twist that knife so if you must have a fight it better be something huge. not whether the tube socks weren't folded correctly so to speak
     
    gfinger
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 2:20 PM ET #4

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


    Sounds simple but it's true, generally speaking, whoever controls the money controls the relationship.  After 25 years of marriage I know I also have to pick my fights.  It helps to have some mutual friends you both enjoy being with but it's also imperative to get out with your own friends once in a while.  I like wine so that would have been a no-brainer for me to go with my wife.

    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


    Sounds simple but it's true, generally speaking, whoever controls the money controls the relationship.  After 25 years of marriage I know I also have to pick my fights.  It helps to have some mutual friends you both enjoy being with but it's also imperative to get out with your own friends once in a while.  I like wine so that would have been a no-brainer for me to go with my wife.

    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 
     
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 2:36 PM ET #5

    Quote Originally Posted by gfinger:


    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 

    And we wonder why the divorce rate is over 50% 
    bigreds daddy
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    Quote Originally Posted by gfinger:


    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 

    And we wonder why the divorce rate is over 50% 
     
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 2:54 PM ET #6

    Quote Originally Posted by gfinger:


    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 

    This just blows me away. 
    Sad reflection on all of us that this attitude still exists in 2016.

    My wife has not had a job in which she is directly compensated with money for almost 30 years.
    I've been modestly successful in some business ventures over that same time frame, which has given my wife the freedom to buy what she wants, vacation where she likes, and not have to worry about paying bills.

    You may be thinking "what has she done to deserve this?"

    I will tell you exactly what she has done ... 
    SHE HAS RAISED OUR 3 KIDS, AND MAINTAINED A STRUCTURED, MORAL, STABILE, HEALTHY HOME IN WHICH OUR CHILDREN CAN GROW UP AND BECOME QUALITY PEOPLE WITH AN INCREASED CHANCE OF ACHIEVING THEIR OWN SUCCESSES IN LIFE. 

    Let me repeat that ...
    SHE HAS RAISED OUR 3 KIDS, AND MAINTAINED A STRUCTURED, MORAL, STABILE, HEALTHY HOME IN WHICH OUR CHILDREN CAN GROW UP AND BECOME QUALITY PEOPLE WITH AN INCREASED CHANCE OF ACHIEVING THEIR OWN SUCCESSES IN LIFE. 

    That "JOB" is the most important job anyone can undertake.

    Want to know the main underlying cause of kids who are born 'in the hood' failing at a high rate is?
    They have no one who is willing, or capable of providing the lessons that only a person who has that "unpaid job" can provide.

    It all STARTS in the home 


    bigreds daddy
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    Quote Originally Posted by gfinger:


    Agree with the money aspect 100%. Wife can't say much when she doesn't pay a bill. 

    This just blows me away. 
    Sad reflection on all of us that this attitude still exists in 2016.

    My wife has not had a job in which she is directly compensated with money for almost 30 years.
    I've been modestly successful in some business ventures over that same time frame, which has given my wife the freedom to buy what she wants, vacation where she likes, and not have to worry about paying bills.

    You may be thinking "what has she done to deserve this?"

    I will tell you exactly what she has done ... 
    SHE HAS RAISED OUR 3 KIDS, AND MAINTAINED A STRUCTURED, MORAL, STABILE, HEALTHY HOME IN WHICH OUR CHILDREN CAN GROW UP AND BECOME QUALITY PEOPLE WITH AN INCREASED CHANCE OF ACHIEVING THEIR OWN SUCCESSES IN LIFE. 

    Let me repeat that ...
    SHE HAS RAISED OUR 3 KIDS, AND MAINTAINED A STRUCTURED, MORAL, STABILE, HEALTHY HOME IN WHICH OUR CHILDREN CAN GROW UP AND BECOME QUALITY PEOPLE WITH AN INCREASED CHANCE OF ACHIEVING THEIR OWN SUCCESSES IN LIFE. 

    That "JOB" is the most important job anyone can undertake.

    Want to know the main underlying cause of kids who are born 'in the hood' failing at a high rate is?
    They have no one who is willing, or capable of providing the lessons that only a person who has that "unpaid job" can provide.

    It all STARTS in the home 


     
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 3:12 PM ET #7

    I rarely, if ever, feel the slightest twinge of emotion reading the nonsense that is posted on this website.

    Even the times that I have posted a reply in a thread, as if I'm somehow emotionally invested in what some anonymous person on this site thinks, that is nothing more than an attempt by me to rile that person up.
    99.9% of the time, I am completely indifferent, and totally unaffected by anyone and everyone on this site, just as we all 'should' be.

    But I must admit, this thread got me. 

    bigreds daddy
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    I rarely, if ever, feel the slightest twinge of emotion reading the nonsense that is posted on this website.

    Even the times that I have posted a reply in a thread, as if I'm somehow emotionally invested in what some anonymous person on this site thinks, that is nothing more than an attempt by me to rile that person up.
    99.9% of the time, I am completely indifferent, and totally unaffected by anyone and everyone on this site, just as we all 'should' be.

    But I must admit, this thread got me. 

     
    TheGoldenGoose
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 6:14 PM ET #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh_Jorgan:

    I rarely, if ever, feel the slightest twinge of emotion reading the nonsense that is posted on this website.

    Even the times that I have posted a reply in a thread, as if I'm somehow emotionally invested in what some anonymous person on this site thinks, that is nothing more than an attempt by me to rile that person up.
    99.9% of the time, I am completely indifferent, and totally unaffected by anyone and everyone on this site, just as we all 'should' be.

    But I must admit, this thread got me. 




    Somebody pizz in your cornflakes this morning???

    "Whoever controls the money controls the relationship"...

    This is absolutely the 100% honest truth.

    It was not intended as a slur but you, however, read it that way.


    ~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh_Jorgan:

    I rarely, if ever, feel the slightest twinge of emotion reading the nonsense that is posted on this website.

    Even the times that I have posted a reply in a thread, as if I'm somehow emotionally invested in what some anonymous person on this site thinks, that is nothing more than an attempt by me to rile that person up.
    99.9% of the time, I am completely indifferent, and totally unaffected by anyone and everyone on this site, just as we all 'should' be.

    But I must admit, this thread got me. 




    Somebody pizz in your cornflakes this morning???

    "Whoever controls the money controls the relationship"...

    This is absolutely the 100% honest truth.

    It was not intended as a slur but you, however, read it that way.


     
    nature1970
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 6:18 PM ET #9

    have to agree we might have a house pay the bills provide the money 
    ect but lets not kid our selves its her home. want to live in hell embarass her in public......works like a charm of the evil eye.
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    have to agree we might have a house pay the bills provide the money 
    ect but lets not kid our selves its her home. want to live in hell embarass her in public......works like a charm of the evil eye.
     
    Goggles-Pisano
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 7:12 PM ET #10

    If money rules the house then the house is crumbling. Who controls the money controls the relationship? Really? Control the relationship?  You young studs have all the brains. 

    Are we talking about just another college basketball  game or your team is in the nfl, do or die playoffs? We're not talking march madness here.

    Something tells me she mentioned  it and he said half listening okay (which I never do....... )

    Dude, if you "dread" sheet she likes and ur not married I have some alimony and child support info you'll  need in the future.

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    If money rules the house then the house is crumbling. Who controls the money controls the relationship? Really? Control the relationship?  You young studs have all the brains. 

    Are we talking about just another college basketball  game or your team is in the nfl, do or die playoffs? We're not talking march madness here.

    Something tells me she mentioned  it and he said half listening okay (which I never do....... )

    Dude, if you "dread" sheet she likes and ur not married I have some alimony and child support info you'll  need in the future.

     
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 9:58 PM ET #11

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:




    Somebody pizz in your cornflakes this morning???

    "Whoever controls the money controls the relationship"...

    This is absolutely the 100% honest truth.

    It was not intended as a slur but you, however, read it that way.



    Goose, the "relationship" should not be controlled by the person with the money. We are talking about a man and a woman, not a business.

    I can only speak from my own experience ... in my marriage both my wife and I have say in all matters pertaining to the house and family, as well as many other facets of life. When it came (past tense, my kids are old) to the kids, my wife had veto power, but we still discussed everything.

    I did read it as a slur, only because in the majority of households it is the man who makes the money, or at least the majority of it. I read the comments and took it as a slight towards women. That was my mistake, as I made assumptions there that I should not have. 
    bigreds daddy
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:




    Somebody pizz in your cornflakes this morning???

    "Whoever controls the money controls the relationship"...

    This is absolutely the 100% honest truth.

    It was not intended as a slur but you, however, read it that way.



    Goose, the "relationship" should not be controlled by the person with the money. We are talking about a man and a woman, not a business.

    I can only speak from my own experience ... in my marriage both my wife and I have say in all matters pertaining to the house and family, as well as many other facets of life. When it came (past tense, my kids are old) to the kids, my wife had veto power, but we still discussed everything.

    I did read it as a slur, only because in the majority of households it is the man who makes the money, or at least the majority of it. I read the comments and took it as a slight towards women. That was my mistake, as I made assumptions there that I should not have. 
     
    TheGoldenGoose
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 10:44 PM ET #12


    Hugh, I totally agree with you about a husband discussing everything with their wife.  I keep no secrets from my Wifey.  She knows everything I do except one thing... How much money I bet on a game.  I'll tell her who I bet on in case she wants to watch the game with me.  But it's better not telling her when I fire up a $300 or $400 wager.  She freaks out at those numbers.  Same as when she tells me she's buying a new Coach pocketbook.  I don't want to know the price.

    Maybe "Control" the relationship was the wrong choice of word.

    Whoever controls the money is certainly "Steering" the ship. 
    ~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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    Hugh, I totally agree with you about a husband discussing everything with their wife.  I keep no secrets from my Wifey.  She knows everything I do except one thing... How much money I bet on a game.  I'll tell her who I bet on in case she wants to watch the game with me.  But it's better not telling her when I fire up a $300 or $400 wager.  She freaks out at those numbers.  Same as when she tells me she's buying a new Coach pocketbook.  I don't want to know the price.

    Maybe "Control" the relationship was the wrong choice of word.

    Whoever controls the money is certainly "Steering" the ship. 
     
    TRAIN69
    TRAIN69
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    Posted: Feb. 22, 2016 - 10:59 PM ET #13

    Quote Originally Posted by SwishSwish1234:

    Me and a friend were at the pub on Friday and he told me how he was dreading hid gf dragging him along to some wine tasting and then afterwards to an art gallery, However on Saturday evening his favorite team were involved in a big game, He said he really wanted to watch that and watch it at the pub as well given how good the atmosphere would be. 

    At first i thought nothing of it but then i had to play Devils Advocate, I told him if you want to watch the game and you are also dreading going to the wine tasting and all of that, Why don't you just tell your girlfriend that? He initially laughed it off but then said he would run it by her. 

    Now i understand in a relationship you have to sacrifice some things but when he came off the phone, Which was about a 20 minute convo, He came back and told me his girlfriend really wants him to come along with her to the wine tasting and the art gallery and that she will sky + the game for him which is our equivalent of tivo and since he won't know the result of the game, They can watch the game together at home when they get back, I have to give her some credit on how she worked him there. 

    To each his own i guess, So as the thread title says, Do you have the final say on matters or do you have to consult the missus/gf? 
    I assume you're single. 
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwishSwish1234:

    Me and a friend were at the pub on Friday and he told me how he was dreading hid gf dragging him along to some wine tasting and then afterwards to an art gallery, However on Saturday evening his favorite team were involved in a big game, He said he really wanted to watch that and watch it at the pub as well given how good the atmosphere would be. 

    At first i thought nothing of it but then i had to play Devils Advocate, I told him if you want to watch the game and you are also dreading going to the wine tasting and all of that, Why don't you just tell your girlfriend that? He initially laughed it off but then said he would run it by her. 

    Now i understand in a relationship you have to sacrifice some things but when he came off the phone, Which was about a 20 minute convo, He came back and told me his girlfriend really wants him to come along with her to the wine tasting and the art gallery and that she will sky + the game for him which is our equivalent of tivo and since he won't know the result of the game, They can watch the game together at home when they get back, I have to give her some credit on how she worked him there. 

    To each his own i guess, So as the thread title says, Do you have the final say on matters or do you have to consult the missus/gf? 
    I assume you're single. 
     
    SwishSwish1234
    SwishSwish1234
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    Posted: Feb. 23, 2016 - 5:31 AM ET #14

    Quote Originally Posted by TRAIN69:

    I assume you're single. 

    Nice try mate but nah 
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    Quote Originally Posted by TRAIN69:

    I assume you're single. 

    Nice try mate but nah 
     
    chaloots
    chaloots
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    Posted: Feb. 23, 2016 - 5:46 AM ET #15

    The one who cares the least controls the relationship. In most every relationship one person love or cares more about the relationship and that person has the least power in the relationship, it has nothing to do with money.
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    The one who cares the least controls the relationship. In most every relationship one person love or cares more about the relationship and that person has the least power in the relationship, it has nothing to do with money.
     
     
    Hugh_Jorgan
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    Posted: Feb. 23, 2016 - 7:56 AM ET #16

    Quote Originally Posted by chaloots:

    The one who cares the least controls the relationship. In most every relationship one person love or cares more about the relationship and that person has the least power in the relationship, it has nothing to do with money.

    Unless someone is living in Shangri La (certainly not where I reside) where everything is in perfect harmony and all pains and joys are split evenly amongst spouses, then what Chaloots just said is the absolute truth.

    Long time no see, Chaloots 
    bigreds daddy
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaloots:

    The one who cares the least controls the relationship. In most every relationship one person love or cares more about the relationship and that person has the least power in the relationship, it has nothing to do with money.

    Unless someone is living in Shangri La (certainly not where I reside) where everything is in perfect harmony and all pains and joys are split evenly amongst spouses, then what Chaloots just said is the absolute truth.

    Long time no see, Chaloots 
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