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At this point, Vegas slowly brings her legs down from behind her head as she gathers every piece of jewelry and applies them to their appropriate body areas. The Venetian has now re opened the doors to the Casanova, and Phandi Haquoon has inventively gone out of his way to recruit authentic Italian servers for tonight's Sea Urchin Linguini special.
GIOVANNI: watta wuda you lika todaya?
TOURIST: The special.
GIOVANNI: Justa to letta you knowwa, We hava de gelato after the meala. And whatta cana getta disa beatifula laddy? Amore mio vieni qua, vieni.
TOURIST: Ok, we are not in Sicily. We are in Venice.
GIOVANNI: My apologies. Can I entice you into exploring any one of our delicious appetizers?
I guess every gambler is jawdropped seeing the Nationals at plus money against the most raggedy pitcher in baseball on a raggedy team tonight. The Excalibur hotel is offering free escorts in each tower, on a First Come First Serve basis as strippers slide up and down the pointy red and blue roofs wearing Burlesque style outfits.
"Are you serious?" King Arthur says as he comes out of his room and see's what is going on while Bambi struts over and licks the tip of his Sword dangling from the holster (which she then begins to bleed profusely after).
Meanwhile in Baltimore, there is a slam poetry session going on at the Edgar Allen Poe Museum. Jrock's oldest son takes stage and begins his session "Bigger, Trigger, Rigger,--"
"Okay, that's enough," says the event coordinator as she cuts him off and looks to the next participant. Laqueefa is trying to listen to her Alicia Keys Album while this session is going on and the next kid is speaking very loudly. "To haaiilll with all dat mumbo jumbo Robert Shakespeare BS! If I wanna be hearing about this To be or not to be up in this mfer, Ima hit up some High School Musical concert!" Yells Laqueefa in frustration as she turns up the volume of her ipod. She then proceeds to crumple up her entry ticket and throw it at the stage. She misses and it lands right in a cup that Hector is holding near the front of the stage. "Ooooo mi hectorina, Ju wan so more Horchata?" says Hector's mom as she looks toward the concession.
Meanwhile in the Nation's Capital, everyone is violently waving the Nationals Confederate Flag as Bryce Harper hits a bomb out of Camden Yards and off the Washington Monument. White House maids are given the evening off and are now swimming laps in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, when the ball drops, bounces off the head of one of the swimmer, and flies right by Fakooki's Gyro stand and kills one of the goats that he was preparing to make fourteen gyros out of. The Goat was wearing a confederate collar, and has now fallen into the pool...making the meat no longer edible. Kids from the Northern DC metropolitan area ride their bikes into the Baltimore metro to throw stones at houses, but nobody cares because everyone is violently cashing in on the Nationals today.
Take Orioles -133
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