Posted:
#1
A lot of people are hammering the Toronto Raptors in a manner so militant that you would think they are doing well lately. I guess Vegas is going to let the Stratosphere be sold to a few folks in Toronto and allow the building to replicate the CN Tower, while children under the age of 24 years old ride the X Scream for free if they wear "We the North" T shirts.
11 year old Hector is riding X Scream when he is launched into the side of the tower. Fortunately, his Derozan Player T gets tangled onto a lose nail, and he is hanging 860 feet above the ground awaiting rescue.
DISPATCHER: We apologize, as it may take up to six hours and thirty seven minutes for the helicopter to arrive at the scene.
HECTOR's FATHER: What? Why so long?
DISPATCHER: Because we are short staffed and cannot afford to pay emergency staff after the city has allocated all their funds to paying everyone for their Raptors bets. Just give him a Nintendo DS to keep busy meanwhile.
HECTORs FATHER: Oh ok gracias.
In Toronto, everyone is doing the wave on the shores of Lake Ontario, as a tidal wave from the actual lake comes onto the land drowning 46 civilians and damaging the Hockey Hall of Fame to an non repairable extent but nobody cares because the rest of the City is waving that dirty Raptors Flag.
Lakers +8
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