I’m locked up virtually for fake pro gambler mockery and literally while recovering from total knee replacement.
Obviously I have some free time. I figured there’d be some others considering getting the surgery who might have questions, so as part of my rehabilitation I’ve decided to give back.
If you have bad knees and have questions about what to expect when you get new ones or what it’s like to do time for FPG mockery, fire away.
I knees to know what happened to you to put you into such a predicament with them things that bend that reside towards the middle of your leg .
You lift up some heffers into the bed back in the day ?
Was it close to 2AM at the bar and were you getting antsy about maybe going home alone with just an old western on the television to keep you company ?
As well as that dilapidated issue of Hustler that you found in the woods that one time ?
Did you go porkin’ a lot ? Was it a habitual action ?
Big ladies need love too . Especially the ones with the cute faces .
Good luck on your ACL/MCL . I hope you don’t turn part robot due to all the necessary surgeries to reconfigure your anatomy .
If they somehow go all the way with their systematic plan to turn you into a cyborg and they send you into the past because they programmed you to kill Sarah Conner please don’t kill the first one that you found in the White Pages cuz it’s not her .
She’s just a fat older housewife that didn’t get enough love around last call at the bar . Thanks .
I love the don’t be brutal song . Whether it’s the original that’s sung by Elvis or the updated R and B version that’s done by the equally swivelly hipped Bobby Brown . Great song either way . Don’t know why you mentioned it though bigred . I guess it’s your prerogative . Every little step you take though makes me wonder if that new tenderoni you got is poison . Cuz you’re acting different . Never trust a big butt and a smile . One .
Zebrakiller ? Yeah he was never really nice to me . If gangrene somehow managed to get onto the mushroom cap of his overgrown and misshapen clitoris-like appendage that hangs there between his legs like cheap fish bait I wouldn’t even feel bad about it .
But why bring him up bigred ? Makes no sense . And what are these Spaghettios that you speak of ?
God damn bro . Have some self respect . I won’t even buy canned sauce . I go all out and make my own . Taking the tomatoes that I tied to the sticks with my own hands from the garden outside . you feel me ? Mangia homie . ci ti rimorda u stomicho . Ya dig ?
Damn bro your codes are harder to crack than that 4th message on the Kryptos monument at the CIA building . You must have taken a few college computer courses back in the day . You sound smart . Me on the other hand I had a lot of difficulty just doing the mazes on the back of cereal boxes as a kid .
Why do they call you the zebra ? Cuz you don’t change your spots or something ? Oh no . That’s a leopard . Like the pattern that covered the front seats of that Cadillac Brougham d’ elegance that I used to rock . You feel me ?
M and M’s ? Yeah i don’t like ‘em either . It’s something about the candy coating and the chocolate inside being different textures . Drives me crazy . Willy nilly even .
That’s why I don’t even go to Taco Bell any more . They starting putting crunchy ass Frito Lay’s chips in the fucking soft tacos . Disgusting . That and not bringing back the Mexican Pizza as a special like that weirdo Ronald McDonald does with that catastrophe that they call the McRib .
Plus I heard the meat comes out of a tube like caulk and I know a few guys that used to stick their feet in the pico de gallo mix when they worked there . I don’t even drive passed the place anymore .
And it’s on the way to where I play pick up hoops too . Fuck it though . I take the long way around . I can’t have them nightmares about feet and condiments anymore . It’s just too much for one psyche to handle . Ya dig ?
Yo what did you work at the first ever Taco Bell ?
And how the hell did you transplant from John Phillip Sousa Arizona to Maryland anyway ?
some little philly steal your heart ? And you moved there to be with her ?
was her name Fraida Felcher by any chance ?
we need the origin story of a boy named shrimp . It could be a captivating best seller . Right there next to the self help books and the Internet for Dummies book series . Give us some background . What were you thinking ? Doing at the time ?
Did you ever fall face first into a cactus ? Did a tumbleweed ever collide with you like the cartoons and we could only see your feet going around in a circle ?
inquiring minds want to know ?
plus who you got in the superbowl ?
Carry on my wayward son . There will be chalupas when you are done . Don’t forget that mild sauce . Or that fire one no more .
I think you are close!!!
Like stealing....
Chiefs got theirasses kicked both sides of the ball....
Game was a beat down....lucky it was that close....
I never thought of you as a Pasadena guy .
Hmmm . lotsa sunlight over there .
Too bad you couldn’t stay there so you could rock that tank top year round . Ya dig ? I think you missed out . Because I don’t know what it is , but the way that you type gives me the credence to believe that you got some massive upper body strength . Ya feel me ?
You know that dumb strength . That mongoloid strength . The kind that you’re born with and that you don’t have to hone on an elliptical machine , or with barbells inside of a sweaty gym …..
where most of the guys check out each other’s butts cuz vanity is a real thing and sometimes it segues into weird and unorthodox desires that trickle into and out of odd directions that one could never have imagined .
Fuck that . you won’t catch me in a gym .
Not with Brad’s perspiration clinging to the incline bench press seat he just did a set on like it was some kind of morning dew on a grassy field where a canine had taken a healthy shit the night before .
ya dig ?
I’d rather stay at home and do those plyometric exercises . You know . The ones that build explosion and ferocity .
You should see me leap across my living room floor like a god damn banshee . I clear the coffee table by a good three inches and I only fell face first into the fireplace once . Cuz I lost my balance and equilibrium , because in retrospect it was a bad idea to try to do it blindfolded like Van Damme did his training in Kickboxer .
leave the stunts to the professionals is my new motto .
but anyway you never explained how you fell in love with the flooring business .
Could you expound on that a bit ? How did you know it was your calling ? Did an old rug at your grandmother’s house light the flame for your passion because it was so god damn beautiful ? What’s the story pal ?
how did you start your journey into becoming the second greatest salesman in the lower Maryland area ?
Hey yo ! Kim Cattrall !
can catch my member in her tail . I remember her , she was slender , with them extra length legs sir ! Yes I’m ready to impail !
and nail with a fury
believe you me ! I know I’m screaming ! But I’m worthy !
More than that teen geek from Weekend at Bernie’s ……
C’mon man , Mannequin was legit .
Didn’t she do that Kurt Russell Big Trouble in Little Tokyo movie too ? Shit dogg . I’d lay my bacon on that egg McMuffin any day . Way before she was that whorre Samantha and sexin’ up the city with her wide open cunnnt .
But give me the lady starring opposite Eddie Murphy in the Golden Child over her and Ciccone all day , everyday . Damn ! You see them titties ? Delicious like a hot bowl of Moligatani on a cold winter day .
“ Oww me so horny . Me love you long time . “
” I only need a couple of minutes baby …. “
Established in 1995,
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