So there I was. Lost in Maryland.

My wife and I are headed home for the holidays.  We are lost in Maryland.  Our cellphones are dead.

I see a strip mall.  We pull in.  I see a carpet store still open.

I walk in.  The salesperson is a crotchety, ornery, mumbling discontented sort.

I asked him if I could get directions.

He yells at me, "Do you know how many injuries the Ravens have?"

I say no, no I don't.

He begins screaming that the Ravens lost by 4 points in their last 3 games or something.

I ask him if he knows where I am.  He says "You're in my house now!"

I say, okay but we are lost.  What town is this?

He bellars this is Lamar Territory.  He then asks me who my favorite quarterback is.

I said it was Johnny Unitas.

With that, the hardened crust on his fingernails scratched his psoriasis covered elbow.  He began to smile.

An ease came over him.  He reminisced about olden days in Baltimore.  He became nice.

He loved his city and he loved the Colts.  He was very enchanting.

Eventually he gave us directions back to the main highway back home.

Before we left though, he sold us $9,000 worth of

M29 parquet, face-taped, square edge, straight cut, unfinished flooring.

One hell of a Baltimore fan.  An incredible salesman.  

Merry Christmas Shrimp. 

thats the spirit Hank...Merry Christmas 

p.s. Johnny Unitas was a good man 

Cranky & Bigred aren't quite as cute a couple as Starwink & Shrimp were ...

but it's close