When you’re a Jet,

Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana in New Jersey last November, but details of a police report are drawing the spotlight away from the pot.

NJ.com reports court documents reveal police were called to the scene in a Target parking lot because a woman alleged she saw Winslow masturbating in his vehicle. The woman told police she parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade in which Winslow was sitting with the window open.

From the report via NJ.com:

As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

The redacted incident report from East Hanover police shows that on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., cops responded to a call from a woman who said she had parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade outside the Target along Route 10. A man was sitting inside the Escalade with the window open, said the woman, whose name was redacted in the incident report. That man would later be identified as Winslow, 30, who lives in Madison.

Winslow’s representative later denied the ”unfounded and ridiculous claim” that he was seen masturbating in his car via Twitter.

The statement includes Winslow’s claim that he was changing clothes in his vehicle “so as not to smell like smoke” from a substance he thought at the time was a legal. He claims nothing inappropriate took place.

According to the police report, an officer found Winslow allegedly “slouched in his seat and moving around.” Winslow sprang to an upright position and allegedly told the officer he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.

The officer wrote that “his genitals were not exposed” but “two open containers of Vaseline [were visible] on his center console.” The report also cites the presence of plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout the vehicle.

Winslow reportedly told police he smoked the “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey”  to relax and that the NFL doesn’t drug test for it. Police reported he consented to a vehicle search after which a few items were seized into evidence and Winslow was free to go.

The Kremlin hopes the games, starting on February 7 in the city of Sochi on the Black Sea, will showcase Russia's modern face more than two decades after the Soviet Union collapsed.

Putin has identified himself closely with the $50-billion event and also pledged Russia will do everything to ensure safe Games in spite of security concerns.

But Russia last year upset the West and human rights activists by banning what it called the promotion of homosexuality among minors. Calls for a mass boycott of the games have failed, but the row has clouded the build-up to the event.

Critics say the law is discriminatory and part of a rolling back of human rights and democratic freedoms under Putin, who has taken a more conservative course on social issues since returning to the presidency in mid-2012.

"There is no ban on non-traditional forms of sexual interaction between people. We have a ban on propaganda of homosexuality," Putin told a meeting with young volunteers preparing for the games.

Related: Sochi gay scene in decline before Russia hosts Winter Games

"We ban nothing, we aren't going after anyone, we have no responsibility for such contacts."

Putin said some U.S. states had laws envisaging criminal responsibility for gay sexual intercourse.

"We have no such thing, people can feel free and at ease but please leave the children in peace," he said.

Putin did not elaborate. In a victory for gay rights activists, the U.S. Supreme Court in 2003 invalidated any remaining anti-sodomy laws that prohibited sex between adults of the same gender.

In a clear message to Moscow, U.S. President Barack Obama included three openly gay athletes in his Olympic delegation and Britain said it would sent to Sochi a minister responsible for the country's same-sex marriage laws.

SECURITY

Moscow has said it expects more than 6,000 athletes from 85 countries and hundreds of thousands of sports fans in Sochi.

It has also introduced a security clampdown in the city, bringing in about 37,000 personnel to ensure safety after at least 34 people were killed last month in suicide bombings in the southern city of Volgograd, some 700 km (400 miles) northeast of Sochi.

"Our task as the organizers is to ensure security to the participants of the Olympics and guests of this sports fete and we will do everything to that end," Putin said in an interview with several TV channels, according to excerpts run by ITAR-TASS news agency on Friday evening.

Putin vowed to annihilate "terrorists" after the bombings in Volgograd added to security fears ahead of the games in Sochi, a few hundred kilometers from the North Caucasus where Islamist separatists are fighting to carve out their own state.

"If we allow ourselves to show weakness, show fear, then it means we will be aiding terrorists and the accomplishment of their goals," Putin also said in the interview quoted on Friday.

The product retails for $50-$150 depending on how much you get. The ads feature Dencia, scantily clad in bikinis, with noticeably lighter skin than her real color. The ad says that this is what it can do for your skin if you use it.

In the press release about the product it states that the cream is to be used for dark spots on the skin, acne blemish scars, and dark patches of skin on the elbows and knees. However that is not what the ad is depicting. It is showing the entire body of the singer lightened severely. So if this cream is just for blemishes and rough dark patches of skin, why is her whole body much whiter than before?

With advertisements such as this people will look at the photo first and then look at the product that is being sold. Sometimes they will read the description, sometimes they won’t. So the first impression of the ad that they will get is that this gorgeous woman with an afro for days doesn’t want to have dark skin anymore so she used the cream to lighten her whole body.

People took to social media and slammed the African singer for her ads. One user commented: “I have never understood our infatuation with bleaching away our natural skin colors besides being a major case of inferiority complex, sure you may look lighter on the outside but on the inside you are still who you are….”. Kola Boof called her an “imitation White woman”.

• A woman called police after she saw Kellen Winslow Jr. sitting in his car with the windows open and his 'erect penis exposed'
  
• When police arrived they found two open containers of Vaseline and empty containers of synthetic weed in his car
  
• Winslow claimed he was looking for a Boston Market restaurant and got lost and also told police that he was merely changing his clothes in the car so as not to smell like smoke when he got home
• Winslow was not charged for anything related to lewdness even though it was in the report
• Winslow is married and has two children
  
• He signed a one-year, $840,000 contract with the Jets before the season making him an unrestricted free agent who can sign with any team he wants

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2541430/NFL-star-masturbating-car-outside-Target-arrested-synthetic-marijuana-possession.html

sick bastard. " I'm a soldier"!!!!

you can't make this stuff up!!

A Short History of Fighters Crapping their Pants

garbage happens, and no one is more aware of that than MMA fighters (and the elderly, but you’ll learn that yourself some day). While on a purely logical level we understand that everyone poops, that doesn’t make it any less mortifying if you happen to do it front of an arena full of people. And because of a number of different factors – cutting weight, the flu, or just a well placed kick to the midsection – you need to know that crapping yourself in the cage is an occupational hazard.

It isn’t just fights you need to concern yourself with. Many simple jiu jitsu moves put a considerable amount of pressure on your guts – I personally had a turtle moment the first time someone slapped a tight body triangle on me – and almost every boxing gym has a story about the guy who took a body shot and voided his bowels all over the canvas.

But let’s take this beyond anecdotal tales and into factual examples of fighters donking in the cage. While my preliminary research indicates that many fighters have pooped a little and fought on with no one being the wiser about it, here’s some cases where the truth (amongst other things) did come out.

It’s all after the jump:

Tim Sylvia took the most famous garbage in mixed martial arts history on January 16th, 2006 in a fight against Assuerio Silva. Sylvia spent the entire day combatting a random bug that gave him some pretty bad diahrea, and the problem didn’t go away once he stepped into the cage. [About halfway through the fight] (fact check) his bowels let go and you can actually see a brown stain on his shorts several times during the fight.

Not only was this fight aired on SpikeTV – making it the first cable TV poop in MMA history – but the story has became a part of sports folklore amongst fans, with people regularly bringing it up. Search engine site Google has well over a million page results on the subject, from people joking about it to Zapruder style multimedia of the stain itself to interviews with Tim where he stoically mans up about the incident.

Kevin Randleman is another fighter that has garbage his pants in the UFC. His story is similar to Tim’s: he got hit with a bad case of diahrea on the day of his fight with Renato ‘Babalu’ Sobral at UFC 35, leading to what must have been the most uncomfortable matchup of wrestler vs jiu jitsu fighter in a long while.

Fortunately, whatever happened in Randleman’s tights stayed in his tights, and it wasn’t just him that ended up with a bad case of the trots that night. A huge chunk of the UFC staff and fighters were also suffering from similar effects, generally attributed to the hotel restaurant everyone was staying at (which ironically enough was named “The Octagon”). While Randleman was the only fighter to admit dropping the kids off in the cage, other fighters like Dave Menne were downing Pepto Bismol in the lockerroom right up until he was set to walk out and Eugene Jackson also fought (and won) with a fever.

If there’s any silver lining to these stories, it’s that the poopees came out of their fights victorious. And these are both cases where you can blame outside factors such as the flu and food poisoning. But sometimes all it takes is a well placed knee, as Kyle Wethey found out in his first pro fight against Fred Mitchell at a 2008 Powerhouse Fighting Championships show in Louisiana.

Mitchell landed a knee to Wethey’s body early in the first round and initially everything seemed fine … until a smell made it very clear that things had gone horribly wrong: Wethey’s bowels had released. To Wethey’s credit he not only continued to fight after defecating himself, but he actually tried to use the situation to his advantage by trapping Mitchell’s head between his legs at one point. Mitchell spent a good portion of the fight trying to force the ref to do something about it but the round was allowed to close before the fight was called off. Wethey was disqualified and the event was put on hold for 10 minutes while staff cleaned the canvas.

For the most part though, cagepoops occur not with a bang but a whimper. There’s probably hundreds of other incidents that have happened since MMA came back to North America in 1993 that we just don’t know about. The only people who know are the ones with a slippery bit of brown between their buttocks, and they’re not likely to bring it up. One man who bucked that trend was Frank Shamrock, who admitted after his fight with Cung Le that one kick he received did more than cause some pain. It was ‘a bit of a shart, I would say’, he confirmed when we asked him about it on Twitter.

So for all you ultimate fighters out there, relax a little. You very well may garbage your britches in the cage, but chances are no one is going to find out about it unless your lips are as loose as your bowels.