There were a lot of Ls handed out in Week 7, as the NFL betting gods were not kind to the Covers staff in their weekly parlay and teaser competition.
Current leader AJ Salah (a rookie beating the vets) couldn't extend his lead with another big-swinging parlay. Defending champion Andrew Caley must be a fan of tortoises (tortoisi?), as his "slow-and-steady-wins-the-race" approach this season is both effective (he's lurking in second) and utterly boring.
While operation #TakeDownTaco was a huge success in Week 6, keeping the reigning champ out of that No. 1 spot will be a tall task all season long.
Let's get into our Week 8 picks:
Teaser Picks Week 8
Andrew Caley, Senior Editor (@Covers_Caley) ***Defending Champion***
Hey look, the Champ hit another teaser. These rookies won't keep hitting crazy parlays all season and at the end of the day, the Champ will stay on top. Speaking of Champs. Blowout for the Chiefs. A shootout in the Dawg Pound. And the Pack will roll against the dumpster fire Vikes.
PICK: 6-point teaser (Kansas City -13.5, Las Vegas-Cleveland Over 45, Green Bay -0.5) +160
Season: +4.62 units
Jason Logan, Senior Industry Analyst (@CoversJLo)
I’ve been eyeballing the Bears all week but haven’t pulled the trigger. An additional six points will get me there though, with Chicago +10.5 versus a Saints teams playing its first outdoor game all season in the classic Chi-town winds. Also bumping the Jets from +19.5 to +25.5 against Kansas City – let’s see the Chiefs climb that mountain of chalk – and walking Green Bay down from -7 to -1 hosting the Vikings.
PICK: 6-point teaser (Chicago +10.5, N.Y. Jets +25.5, Green Bay -1) +160
Season: -2.4 units
Rob Hansen, Content Coordinator (@Mookie_45)
There once was a hurricane named Zeta,
Which proved to be anything but a beta.
It's winds not yet tame,
Will impact Sunday's passing game.
Taking Unders this week will prove to be great-a.
PICK: 6-point teaser (Las Vegas/Cleveland Under 56.5, New Orleans/Chicago Under 49.5, Minnesota/Green Bay Under 56.5, Green Bay PK) +250
Season: +0.8 units
Rohit Ponnaiya, Digital Content Producer (@Covers_Ro)
Joe Burrow and the Bengals might not be winning but they've been competitive. Give me Cincy and 12 points against a Titans team that has a lot of close wins. The Lions aren't great but they're coming off back-to-back wins and have only one loss by more than four points. And even an Eagles squad with half their offensive players injured should be able to beat Ben DiNucci and the Cowboys by at least three points.
PICK: 6-point teaser (Cincinnati +12, Detroit +8.5, Philadelphia -3) +160
Season: +0.8 units
Parlay Picks Week 8
Jameson Mossman, Social Media Coordinator (@Covers_JaMo)
Desperation is a stinky cologne but when you’re on the bottom it’s time for some shenanigans! Chug your maple syrup and strap on your metal cup…it’s time to get crazy with a 6-game parlay!
Packers and Chiefs on the moneyline because they play the Vikings and Jets. Steelers and Ravens should be close and could go either way. Need the Pats to keep owning the Bills, or at least hang around (again Sorry Bills Mafia). Raiders should keep it close against the Browns and Tua time is finally here!
I need a liter of cola right MEOW!
PICK: (Pittsburgh alt spread +10, Miami alt spread +10, Raiders alt spread +8.5, Patriots alt spread +10, Packers ML, Chiefs ML) +408
Season: -4.4 units
Brandon DuBreuil, Content Manager (@CoversBD)
A +359 win last week gets me back in the game. This week, we're looking at the Pack on the moneyline (who isn't?) and using alt spreads to bring a trio of short dogs up to 10 with Las Vegas, Miami (Tua Time!) and my Niners.
PICK: Green Bay ML, Las Vegas +10, Miami +10, San Francisco (+329)
Season: +2.67 units
AJ Salah, Publishing Editor (@Salas42_)
F**king Bills. Our shot at a very comfortable lead was thwarted like a Shreeky & Beastly plot, and I'm not entirely stoked on this week's lines. But I'm too much of a degen to shy away to a teaser after three of our four parlay misses this season have been very narrow.
Backing the Titans to mangle the Bungles, Vegas to take care of the Browns, and the Bears to prevent the Saints from marching in.
PICK: Tennessee -6.0, Las Vegas +2.5, Chicago +4.5 (+612)
Season: +6.08 units
Patrick Everson, Senior Writer (@Covers_Vegas)
Seahawks -3 vs. 49ers. My favorite pick of the week, which isn’t saying much when you see that I’ve converted like only one of these 3-teamers all season. Packers -6 vs. Vikings. I’ll ride with Rodgers again. Lions +2.5 vs. Colts. May the home ‘dog finish this off.
PICK: Seattle -3, Green Bay -6, Detroit +2.5 (+596)
Season: -3.36 units
Jared Hochman, Publishing Editor (@JLHoch)
After a brief moment in the Sun, we’re back to staring at an L.
But we’re not going to let one loss (cough cough six out of seven losses cough cough) deter us! We’ve got the Motor City Kitties getting points at home for plus money! We’ve got the Pack coming out strong on the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field! We’ve got Waller the Baller to ball out against the Brownies’ sad excuses for safeties!
Heck with the haters: We’ve got a victory coming in Week 8!
PICK: Detroit +2.5, Packers 1H -4, Darren Waller O56.5 Rec Yards (+647)
Season: +3.94 units
Josh Inglis, NFL Writer (and Borat enthusiast) (@inglis_josh4)
The Bears blew it for us last week and we missed a great shot at getting into the black. Now down 1.8u on the year, we are looking for a 3-teamer ML play to erase our 2020 debt.
The Rams could have an easy go of things if Tua can't learn quickly, the Packers play in Lambeau conditions against the indoor Vikes and the Titans will get to play against a Cincy O-line that could be without three starters.
PICK: Los Angeles Rams ML, Green Bay ML, Tennessee ML (+207)
Season: -1.8 units
1st: AJ Salah: +6.08 units
2nd: Andrew Caley: +4.62 units
3rd: Jared Hochman: +3.94 units
4th: Brandon DuBreuil: +2.67 units
T5th: Rob Hansen: +0.8 units
T5th: Rohit Ponnaiya: +0.8 units
7th: Josh Inglis: -1.8 units
8th: Jason Logan: -2.4 units
9th: Patrick Everson -3.36 units
10th: Jameson Mossman: -4.4 units
Standings are somewhat irrelevant — if you're not first...you're last.
Feel free to thank us (or throw shade) at our weekly NFL teaser and parlay bets by hitting us up on Twitter!
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