NFL Parlay and Teaser Picks Week 9

Welcome to Sharp Money Street. It's like Sesame Street, but instead of educating young kids about core fundamental knowledge, we teach (legal) adults about NFL betting odds by way of our weekly Covers staff teasers and parlays. We have all your familiar faces: Count Von Mook, the best-selling Tickle-Me-AJ, Mr. Tacoleupagus and Jameson the (last-place) Grouch, who lives in the garbage can of the standings.  

This week's edition is brought to you by the letter "L," as in "Losers," because every single person lost their bets last week. Ouch.

While it doesn't take much for the Count to just drop a unit from everyone's totals, what makes our little gambling grotto so great is that each week brings new hope—and a new chance to educate everyone about the picks you apparently shouldn't make!

But before we get canned from your local TV channel, let's get into our Week 9 picks: 

Teaser Picks Week 9

Andrew Caley, Senior Editor (@Covers_Caley) ***Defending Champion***

A tough week for the Champ but trust the process and we'll bounce back. Let’s stick with the Champs at home versus the overachieving Panthers. Russell Wilson and Josh Allen should put on a show. And the Texans have a massive edge at QB as Deshaun Watson goes up against Jake Luton. (Who?)

PICK: 6-point teaser (Kansas City -4.5, Seattle-Buffalo Over 49, Houston -1) +160
Season: +3.62 units

Jason Logan, Senior Industry Analyst (@CoversJLo)

I’m swinging six points on the Bills +3 to +9 against Seattle, dropping the Patriots from -7.5 to -1.5 at the Jets, and making the Saints +10.5 pups in Tampa Bay Sunday night. Ah, frig it, tack on the Texans -1 at Jacksonville as well.

PICK: 6-point teaser (Buffalo +9, New England -1.5, New Orleans +10.5, Houston -1) +260
Season: -3.4 units

Rob Hansen, Content Coordinator (@Mookie_45)

It's Brady vs. Brees once again, 
On Sunday Night Football is when. 
The division lead is the prize, 
Under overcast skies, 
Give me Brees and the Saints getting ten. 

PICK: 6-point teaser (New Orleans +10.5, Pittsburgh -8, Tennessee -0.5) +160
Season: -0.4 units

Rohit Ponnaiya, Digital Content Producer (@Covers_Ro)

Miami might have won last week, but they did it with just 145 total yards. That won't be enough to keep up with Kyler Murray and the Cardinals. New England is in rebuilding mode but even that version of the Patriots should be able to beat the worst team in the NFL in the Jets. The New York Giants and Washington are two of the worst offensive teams in the league and combined for just 39 points when they met up three weeks ago, expect another low-scoring snoozer in the NFC East. 

PICK: 3 team, six-point teaser (Arizona +1.5, New England -1, NY Giants-Washington U48.5) +160
Season: -0.2 units 

Parlay Picks Week 9

Jameson Mossman, Social Media Coordinator (@Covers_JaMo)

Inconceivable! Dalvin Cook single-handedly beat the Packers, nearly making me jump from the cliffs of insanity and leaving me close to death in this competition.

But here’s the good news: I’m only mostly dead. With that in mind, let’s go with a moneyline parlay this week. Chiefs, Seahawks, Texans, Steelers, and Ravens. Will my comeback bid work? As Miracle Max would say, “It’ll take a miracle.”

Have fun storming the castle!

PICK: Kansas City ML, Seattle ML, Houston ML, Pittsburgh ML, Baltimore ML (+402)
Season: -5.4 units

Brandon DuBreuil, Content Manager (@CoversBD)

I like Touchdown Tom and the Bucs to bounce back with a home win and Tennessee to take care of Chicago, so we're taking both on the moneyline. Adding in a couple of alt spreads with the Broncos at +10 and the Chiefs at -3 and we're looking at a decent payday.

PICK: Tampa Bay ML, Tennessee ML, Kansas City -3, Denver +10 (+255)
Season: +1.67 units

AJ Salah, Publishing Editor (@Salas42_)

We were thwarted by the goddamn Bengals last week, which feels like having your lunch money stolen by the kid who gets picked last in gym class. 

Time to bounce back: Give me the Kyler Murray Show to cover against Miami's Tua Tryout, the Cowboys to have possibly the most pathetic single-game offensive output of the season, and the Jets and Pats to not be very far behind that dubious pace (my inherent bias to the number 42 aside). 

PICK: Arizona -4.5, Pittsburgh-Dallas Under 42.0, New England-Jets Under 42.0 (+596)
Season: +5.08 units

Patrick Everson, Senior Writer (@Covers_Vegas)

Raiders-Chargers is down to pick, from Chargers -2.5. I think there’s only so much meltdown Los Angeles can have, though I’m probably wrong in that thought. I’m taking the Chargers anyway. The Cardinals are at home and have seen the line move toward the other side, too, from Arizona -6 to -4.5 vs. Miami. I’m playing Cards to make it a rough Sunday for Tua Tagovailoa. And I’ll wrap with Bucs -4.5 vs. the visiting Saints in the Sunday nighter. Fade some or all of this accordingly.

PICK: Los Angeles pick, Arizona -4.5, Tampa Bay -4.5 (+596)
Season: -4.36 units

Jared Hochman, Publishing Editor (@JLHoch)

Enough of the theatricality and deception, which are powerful tools to mask terrible picks. We’re trying to get back into this race, so we’re using precious parlay picks. Covers from the Ravens and Cardinals, plus the Chargers scoring lots of points, would be gratefully accepted, as we will need it.

But what will break first—my spirit...or my picks?

PICK: Baltimore -1.5, Arizona -4.5, L.A. Chargers TT O26.5 (+612)
Season: +2.94 units

Josh Inglis, NFL Writer (and Aero hater) (@inglis_josh4)

Week 8 recap: damn the Rams. On to this week.

Houston coming off a bye gets to roll over the league's worst defense and a sixth-round rookie QB. The Falcons should be 3-0 since the coaching change and Julio Jones is unstoppable. The Bucs don't give up sacks and play one of the most overrated teams in the league in the Saints. Three-way moneyline action for +180.

PICK: Houston ML, Atlanta ML, Tampa Bay ML (+180)
Season: -2.8 units

Where can I make parlay and teaser bets online?

You can bet on NFL parlays and teasers at every online and casino sportsbooks, including NFL moneylines, spreads, Over/Under totals and a ton of NFL prop odds. Head over to our best-suggested sportsbooks for the top spots to bet on NFL odds in your area.  

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