Posted:
#1
GucciCapper was quite the athlete when GucciCapper was half his age. Varsity track, varsity water polo and a brief stint at cornerback during GucciCapper's freshman year in football. Now gout-ridden and 60 pounds heavier, GucciCapper enjoys playing tennis leisurely and going on hikes. That will change tomorrow, when GucciCapper will go SURFING for GucciCapper's first time after the Iowa Hawkeyes destroy the Golden Gophers.
But GucciCapper....how are you going to lay 3 points with a team that can't move the ball offensively against a red hot Minnesota squad? Here's why.
But GucciCapper....how are you going to lay 3 points with a team that can't move the ball offensively against a red hot Minnesota squad? Here's why.
1) PJ Fleck surfing. Yes, that was arguably Minnesota's biggest win ever but look who's next on your schedule. An Iowa team that has lost three games by a combined 14 points. It's VERY hard for a team to get up after winning their biggest game. It's also very hard for a team to focus when their coach is celebrating such a big win. Guys, you didn't win the National Championship. You beat Penn State at home by intercepting a pass to in the endzone.
2) Iowa this time of year. Iowa is always a hard place to win at especially later in the year. Iowa has won HUGE games at home in this spot and GucciCapper expects them to easily win this game against a Minnesota team that is very overrated. Iowa is 4-1 in their last 5 home games against top 10 opponents in the month of November or December. The last time Minnesota won in Iowa was in 1999. GucciCapper does not expect PJ Fleck to be dancing to Prince's "1999" after this game. No erotic city massages either after the game for this Golden Gopher squad.
3) Competition. Look at who Iowa played this year and compare it to who Minnesota played. Iowa survived a hard fought game against Iowa State while College Gameday was there. Iowa went to the big house and lost by 7 and also went to Wisconsin and lost by 2 because they couldn't convert a two point conversion. GucciCapper really liked how Iowa looked at the end of that game last week against Wisconsin. If Iowa didn't have two costly turnovers against Penn State, Iowa would still be undefeated at home. Moral of the story is Iowa has played stiff competition and played very well. They are the more experienced team and GucciCapper expects them to protect their home turf.
It's quite simple here. Lay the points with the team with 3 losses against the undefeated team. After you do that, chug a tall boy for GucciCapper and then patiently wait until kickoff. After the ticket cashes, chug another tall boy for GucciCapper and thank him.
GucciCapper decided to write this up earlier than usual because it's Saturday afternoon here in Korea. GucciCapper is going to celebrate that Marshall win by drinking copious amounts of beer and eating samgyupsal. Horrible for GucciCapper's gout, but great for GucciCapper's overall well being.
Iowa -3 boys.
-Gucci out
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