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So today's travels bring me to King of Prussia, PA to visit my brother and his kids. Circumstances dictated that I was to take my 7 year old nephew out to dinner. Cool! The convo went something like this:
Me: Where do you want to go?
Him: KFC! Im hungry.
Me: Are you sure KFC has the right nutritional balance for a 7 year old?
Me: Are you sure KFC has the right nutritional balance for a 7 year old?
Him: FU Vanzack!
So we went to KFC. As I have explained here before - I am a vegetarian. I made this decision about 10 years ago (and detailed it here) and I attribute it to saving my life and keeping me around longer than whatever my original scheduled departure date was. But I was genuinely curious what was going on at KFC, and my nephew seemed to think it was the best thing on earth - so we were on our way.
Turns out this is a KFC / Taco Bell combo joint. Really? Who came up with this - Lucifer himself? I started to develop a story for Child Protective Services so that they don't take him out of my custody.
I ask my nephew what he wants - and the answer was faster than a covers poster giving his lock of the day - "A five dollar fill up!". I read the menu - this is 2 pieces of fried chicken, fries, a biscuit, a cookie, and a drink. For five bucks.
The guy in front of me is wearing a Nickelback concert shirt, and orders 3 burritos (that only cost 1 dollar each) and a five dollar fill up. Are the burritos dessert? Can any human eat this and survive?
I get up to the front of the line and order the five dollar fill up and a bean burrito for me (also a dollar). Quanisha at the register told me the beans are vegetarian - and please dont tell me they arent - it is something I never want to know. Our food comes out fast and hot - and it weighs about 3 pounds.
I survey the restaurant. Are these the Trump voters I always hear about but never meet? I used to be a fat guy. I realize that saying that makes me sound like a white guy who makes racist jokes because he "has black friends", but there were a lot of fat people eating there. 19 people total in the restaurant - and every one of them fat - every single one. Unscientific? Yes. Correlation without causation? I would say no.
My nephew tears in to his food. I start to ponder. How is this possible? How is the food and overhead costs not more than 5 bucks for this? Is it OK that we are feeding our kids this shi*? Is this the crack of the obese? Eh... For now - my nephew needs to answer some question - and here are his responses:
Chicken: "Delicious and yummy. Salty and hot. It is sometimes wet inside but not today." (sounds pornographic)
Potato Wedges: "OW! Burns my mouth. But worth it."
Biscuit: "Makes me want to drink but so good"
Cookie: "Awesome"
Drink: "Not good"
He ate it all. Overall he gave it a 9 out of 10 because the drink wasnt so good otherwise it would have been a 10.
I checked in on my Nickelback friend - and he was polishing off his third and final burrito and his fill up was destroyed. Is he a happy person? Does he go home and regret his choices? Should KFC be held responsible for this? He certainly is going to need medication to live past 40.
So overall - the KFC 5 dollar fill up in King of Prussia KFC gets a 9 out of 10. The overall moral implications of allowing a 7 year old to enter this cycle of eating are yet to be determined, but my conscience is telling me I am going directly to hell.
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, I dont even remember they are pink 
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