A man walked into a supermarket, asking to buy half a head of lettuce. The stock boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was insistent: he did not need a whole head, only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some azzhole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished speaking, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "--and this gentleman wants to buy the other half."
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Afterward, the manager said "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?"
"Ottawa, sir".
"Oh really? Why did you leave Ottawa?" Asked the manager.
The boy said, "Nothing but whorez and hockey players up there."
"Hey!" Said the manager, "My wife is from Ottawa!!!"
"No kidding!" Says the boy. "What team did she play for?"
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