By definition, Im sorry to say. Ive been gambling for decades Ive had some great runs. You can win in the short term. Sometimes you can do no wrong.
What will kill you is the drinking, lack of bankroll management and self control, and the chasing.
Everyone loses. You cant beat the juice. Maybe theres a few people who are ahead but they will eventually fall on their face.
Gambling is backed by the devil himself. Just quit now and save your future. Try to have fun doing something else. You dont have to suffer and torture yourself anymore.
Just forget about what youve done and start doing other things.