How to survive a kangaroo attack

These buff kangaroos are dangerous. Not sure if this was already mentioned. What are you doing if you’re a larcenist with a visa breaking into homes in Beverly Hills and you see a red kangaroo security guard at the door?

I saw that video of the Roo drowning the dog and then the owner had to box him...good lord ....should just shoot on site if they look like Ken Patera 

@trainwreck66
 These marsupials are diabolical. They’ll start a fight with your dog and try to drown it just like that in that video. Dogs are lured into the water and the kangaroos use their massive upper body muscles to pin them down. Most smaller land animals don’t stand a chance. 

@maxwagers781

These marsupials are diabolical.  

They were never like that years and years ago at least when I was younger....have they evolved into injecting steroids into each others penises and if so ...Where ...cause Im down ...lets get fucked up see what happens  

1) Sweep the tail, Daniel-san.

2) Go for the balls. If a shot to the balls is so painful to us,i'm guessing it's painful to all mammals. Those roos are definitely going for the nards. The rules of engagement have been established. Go for the balls.

@StumpTownStu

 good luck 

I'll fuck a kangaroo up. In the pantheon of animals endemic to Australia that want to kill you, roos don't want this smoke. Bob and weave. Don't let him lock up because they use that for extra balance to go for that balance on the tail double kick. Attack said tail. Kick him in the balls.

I'd fuck up any animal under a large mountain lion. Mountain lions, cheetahs, etc, probably not gonna have a good day. I'm decimating a kangaroo though. In the event of a big cat, i'm gonna try to give up an arm then gouge the eyes. And i'll obviously pray. And just hope i'm right with the Lord.

Kangaroos 

Hear a truck on road  ...  let's charge towards it   

@StumpTownStu

 you sound exactly like a guy who wants to commit suicide by animal wildlife 

How many human deaths are attributed to kangaroos every year? Exactly. I'd f' a kangaroo up.

I'd mess a kangaroo up bad. As far as Lions, proper or otherwise, where did I say I thought I had a chance?

Would you fight a snake if I brought one ?

Trouser snake? 

Stu and myself are definitely interested 

If the Kangaroos don't get you the poisonous toads will--welcome to Australia.

Again, my money would be on the snake winning (but it would be in pure size and strength).

If he wanted to fight a real snake, I am pretty sure I could just pick a random one that was poisonous enough to either paralyze or kill him. (there are enough to chose from)

Only Boas, Pythons, and Anacondas but the pet stores in Denmark only sell garter snakes.

Yeah, I bet you have a mastery of picking random snakes. Now you want to pick a rando and just watch, right. Sure, dude. Whatever floats your boat. I'll show you how a real man fights a snake.

Oh damn joey...this thread got some bite to it....

I'm with Stu...I'd fuck a kangaroo up to...bob and weave and get inside close to him and uppercut his ass...the roo's advantage is at a distance so he can use his hind legs....you have to get close and body that muther f'er...bite his ear if you need to and then take him to the ground and Royce Gracie his rectangle ass with your ground game....put me in coach

@ABooksNightmare

 They have to lock up to do that whole tail bounce kick maneuver. Just circle and don't lock up. I'd take a roo over a baboon or a chimp any day.

@maxwagers781

 You know what "big feet" mean.....

@IntenseOperator

 I do.. I think 

Super clumsy.