Jokes for smart people

Question

A cop pulls Heisenberg over for speeding and says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"Heisenberg responds, "No, but I knew where I was!"

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

A cop pulls Heisenberg over for speeding and says, "Do you know how fast you were going?"Heisenberg responds, "No, but I knew where I was!"

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up !OMg

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

I would make another Chemistry joke...But all the good ones are argon.

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

So I guess I&#x27;m in trouble with my probation officer who thinks she&#x27;s a linguistics professor.She said a double positive could never make a negative.And I said, "Yeah, Right!"

The Hawk · Answer

E=MC Hammer

Midnight1 · Answer

Have you heard about the band called 1023 MB? They haven&#x27;t had any gigs yet.

HockeyTeeth · Answer

do you recall blowing bubbles as a child?&#xA;well...bubbles just got out of prison and he is looking for you.&#xA;very highbrow

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

Helium walks into a bar.  The bartender Says ,"We don&#x27;t serve noblle gasses in here. Helulium doesn&#x27;t doesn&#x27;t react.

thorpe · Answer

there are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who dont

nature1970 · Answer

What did The Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific?&#xA;nothing oceans can&#x2019;t talk they just wave .....

Midnight1 · Answer

Dear Algebra,&#xA;Stop asking us where your X is. She&#x27;s not coming back.&#xA;And we don&#x27;t know Y either.

StumpTownStu · Answer

&#xA;Very noble of you to admit that.

StumpTownStu · Answer

&#xA;They&#x27;ve had one.

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

[Quote: Originally Posted by Midnight1]  Dear Algebra,&#xD;&#xA;Stop asking us where your X is. She&#x27;s not coming back.&#xD;&#xA;And we don&#x27;t know Y either.  [/Quote]

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to Absolute Zero?He&#x27;s OK now.

TheGoldenGoose · Answer

Knock KnockWho&#x27;s thereToTo who?No, it&#x27;s to WHOM.

Midnight1 · Answer

What do you get when you cross an agnostic who is dyslexic &amp; an insomniac? &#xA;You get a person who says up all night wondering if there is a dog.

searchwarrant · Answer

what do you call a woman with pms and esp?&#xA; &#xA; &#xA; &#xA; &#xA; &#xA; &#xA;A biiitch who knows everything.

Midnight1 · Answer

&#xA;Dog=God &#xA;Not sure how many got this one &amp; were hesitant to ask.

searchwarrant · Answer

i laughed.

Getty3 · Answer

A man drives down a country road everyday to work and sees a sign that says "Atheist Kittens for Sale." After a week he notices the sign has been changed and reads "Christian Kittens for Sale." Intrigued, he goes down the driveway and questions the woman there. She says, "Well yes sir they were atheists but just this morning they opened their eyes."