NFL star caught 'masturbating in his car' outside Target while possessing synthetic marijuana

• A woman called police after she saw Kellen Winslow Jr. sitting in his car with the windows open and his 'erect penis exposed'
  
• When police arrived they found two open containers of Vaseline and empty containers of synthetic weed in his car
  
• Winslow claimed he was looking for a Boston Market restaurant and got lost and also told police that he was merely changing his clothes in the car so as not to smell like smoke when he got home
• Winslow was not charged for anything related to lewdness even though it was in the report
• Winslow is married and has two children
  
• He signed a one-year, $840,000 contract with the Jets before the season making him an unrestricted free agent who can sign with any team he wants

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2541430/NFL-star-masturbating-car-outside-Target-arrested-synthetic-marijuana-possession.html

sick bastard. " I'm a soldier"!!!!

you can't make this stuff up!!

At least he makes 840K. 

Most guys on covers.com jerk to someone who picks 40% winners.

Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana in New Jersey last November, but details of a police report are drawing the spotlight away from the pot.

NJ.com reports court documents reveal police were called to the scene in a Target parking lot because a woman alleged she saw Winslow masturbating in his vehicle. The woman told police she parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade in which Winslow was sitting with the window open.

From the report via NJ.com:

As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

The redacted incident report from East Hanover police shows that on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., cops responded to a call from a woman who said she had parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade outside the Target along Route 10. A man was sitting inside the Escalade with the window open, said the woman, whose name was redacted in the incident report. That man would later be identified as Winslow, 30, who lives in Madison.

Winslow’s representative later denied the ”unfounded and ridiculous claim” that he was seen masturbating in his car via Twitter.

The statement includes Winslow’s claim that he was changing clothes in his vehicle “so as not to smell like smoke” from a substance he thought at the time was a legal. He claims nothing inappropriate took place.

According to the police report, an officer found Winslow allegedly “slouched in his seat and moving around.” Winslow sprang to an upright position and allegedly told the officer he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.

The officer wrote that “his genitals were not exposed” but “two open containers of Vaseline [were visible] on his center console.” The report also cites the presence of plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout the vehicle.

Winslow reportedly told police he smoked the “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey”  to relax and that the NFL doesn’t drug test for it. Police reported he consented to a vehicle search after which a few items were seized into evidence and Winslow was free to go.

When you’re a Jet,

He did what?...nooooh!.... really?!!

Do you know how to drive a stick?

Old joke about the little old lady who called the cops complaining that the guy in the apartment across from her back window was always running around naked in his apartment. Cops arrive and look around and see nothing. Old lady pulls out a ladder, goes to the top step, twists her neck around the corner of the window and says "you have to come up and look from here ".