Things my neighbour sees...

Due to the rise in oil prices i decided to switch over to electric heat last winter..my drapes lay over the register under my living room bay window so for optimum heat distribution i open the curtains to heat the room..i was dating a fiesty little cock socket at the time and she got some sick thrill out of inflicting pain on me..i drove this bitch so crazy with my verbal insults and overall assholishness that her only response was usually a painfill pinch to my tricepts or a sharp kick in the shins..she would also grab my cock and try to shove it up my ass..otherwise known as "the goat"..i would defend myself in any way possible..headlocks..grabbing her wrists..taking her down and sitting on her chest..all while i laughed histerically..the more i laughed, the harder she squirmed, foamed at the mouth and tried to punish me..it was during one of these episodes that we got a knock on the door..it was the cops..turns out my nieghbour directly across the street was watching this whole wrestling match go down like silent film through my open curtains while i was trying to heat up the living room..

Are you and Salty related?

Bring it on!!!

Haha about 10 years ago I lived in an apartment on the 2nd story and outside my sliding glass door window about 20 feet away was like the community dumpsters. It wasnt close enough to where it was like an eyesore or stunk or anything at all but the thing was when you dumped your trash and turned around to walk back you were staring kinda right at my window, not necessarily at it but it was kind of instinct when anyone (myself included) turned around after dumping your trash you kinda looked up into my window. Out of the 5000 people I saw dump theie trash Id say 4900 of them looked in my window after, not like peeping toms, it was just in your "line of sight" (hilarious seinfled episode lol)

Anyways, Im like 23 and I take this like 40 yr old skank home the bar and she stays the nite. So its sunday morning and she has to leave at like 630am but I convince her to suck my cock before she leaves. Now the couch I sat on all the time was basically right by this sliding glass door/window and thats where she started blowing me. Well I know full well that if anyone dumps their trash they may see me but its 630am on a sunday so Im like "noones gonna be out there right now" so I just went with it

Sure enough 30 seconds in there is my friggen apt manager, this like 70 yr old guy named Jim, dumping his trash. Well im not about to tell this girl to stop and sure enough aftyer he dumps his trash he looks right up in my window and here I am getting a blow job on my couch looking right at him and I wave lololol\

The dude just IMMEDIATELY looks straight to the ground and walks off. I used to talk to the guy all the time so later that afternoon I went up to him joking around and was like "sorry you saw what you saw buddy but god damn it was a good nite!!!!"

He's like "I dont know what youre talking about I didnt see anything"

I say "Jim dont worry dude, its impossible to not look in my window after dumping your trash no worries dude"

The guy never admitted to seeing but I know he did, it was just so hilarious

great story partyalot..

i dont have a natural gas lines in my area yet buds..i live in the east coast of canada..its very uncivilized here

my buddy is an electrician and my other buddy works at home depot and slid me the heaters out the back door for a few green fees and golf carts over the summer

so at this point im winning..but losing at everything else

on a side note..i got completely fucking loaded last night...lost 400 playing holdem at the casino..hit a rub and tug on the way home when i pulled into my driveway i threw up everywhere..

i was somewhat blacked out for brief moments..i can only assume that i made myself carsick on the way home from the brothel..because i never got sick at casino or barfed all over the back of some blonde piss mop..

but when i pulled into my driveway it was just past 6am..dawn had broken..the way i park my car i have to get out and walk around the back of it to get to my front steps..so when i got to the trunk i put one hand on the side of the car and just blew mad chucks..

it was a violent session..my eyes were so full of tears i couldnt even see..i just kept my head down hoping it was the last heave..i made 3 seperate piles..

i was wearing a pair of white cloth slippers from aldo..not sure if you know what i mean..kind of fruity..kind of tennishy..but light and comfortable and fit into my non sock don johnson state of mind..

needless to say they looked like i had just kicked the crap out of a bag of vomit..im not sure if my neighbour saw my performance, but the little asian lady at the laundromat has been witness to the aftermath.. i just dropped my cloth sneakers off at the laundront wrapped in my juice stained boxer briefs i used to wipe off that hooker with..

those ppl at the laundromat are like magicians..drop off a dirt hockey bag once a week..i give them 20 bucks..and 24 hours later it all comes back folded and clean sealed in shrink wrap..

amazing

i dont know how they do it down there at the laundromat

naw man..i hit the flip and grip because i was horny..wtf..