Judging from about 47 out of 51 of the responses to this thread, Covers is full of pansies. "Wait til you're in your 30s or 40s" sounds like most of you have let your life pass you by instead of taking control of it. Sorry if you can't get over your own insecurities or haven't found the person you want to create a life with, but discouraging AD from doing so based on that is garbage. By the time you've "figured yourself out in your 30s" and decided that you may want to take the next step with somebody, AD will already have that experience. Why not move in with a serious girlfriend and learn about yourself and your relationship together? I say 1) looking for advice from ppl who know neither one of you is a bad look, and you should consult family and friends if you're looking for a push, and 2) you know your relationship better than anybody else anyway, so stop BSing and pull the trigger!
Gotta make a move sometime! ;)
0
Judging from about 47 out of 51 of the responses to this thread, Covers is full of pansies. "Wait til you're in your 30s or 40s" sounds like most of you have let your life pass you by instead of taking control of it. Sorry if you can't get over your own insecurities or haven't found the person you want to create a life with, but discouraging AD from doing so based on that is garbage. By the time you've "figured yourself out in your 30s" and decided that you may want to take the next step with somebody, AD will already have that experience. Why not move in with a serious girlfriend and learn about yourself and your relationship together? I say 1) looking for advice from ppl who know neither one of you is a bad look, and you should consult family and friends if you're looking for a push, and 2) you know your relationship better than anybody else anyway, so stop BSing and pull the trigger!
I commend you for seeking input from others, even though you had made up your mind about moving in with your GF.
It sounds like that you both are cool young people.
You are doing the right thing in seeking input from others, as this can help you pick up valuable pointers, tips and wisdom that others had learned the hard way, i.e., moving in with their own respective GFs, only to be very glad to separate ASAP.
I'm twice your age and have lived life. I have but one thing to suggest to you and that is this: get a book, "The Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida.
Used copies are available for less than $10 and it'll be the best $10 you will have ever spent, trust me.
A GF of mine strongly recommended this book to me, and after reading it, I could see why, as Deida really tapped into the essences of the female/male dynamics and how to make relationships work.
And this advice goes for ALL of you in these forums, as many of you have had or are in relationships ... with many of you surely struggling with relationships, having women drive you nuts, yes?
Get that book, read it and share it with your GF.
Also, understand that relationships don't necessarily last "forever." This "til death do us part" tradition in marriages/relationships is a load of bullsh!t.
Relationships are great mirrors for each person to experience with each other, reflecting many aspects of each other, especially the flaws inherent within each other ... and that can be hard experiences to go through.
What I mean by "reflecting the flaws with each other" is that when you are close to someone, living with someone, regardless of age, the flaws/imperfections of each other would be quite evident to each other, so it would be a challenge to each to recognize the flaws and work with them in compassionate ways with the hope that the flaws could be changed/transformed, but being realistic that sometimes flaws are almost impossible to eliminate in a lifetime.
Trust in a relationship is like the stock market ... it takes a long time to build trust, but it can fall at free fall speed when trust is broken.
I've seen all sorts of relationships ... monogamous and open relationships with both sorts working very well for the respective people.
If you want an open relationship, then be clear on that and be honest with each other if you are seeing others.
You both are young, very young, so I would suggest for you to focus on the quality of the here~and~now relationship that you have with each other and work on your own flaws the best that you can, to improve one's own flaws/imperfections the best that one can.
Don't worry about whether you both want to be together "forever". Maybe marriage is in the cards, maybe not, but getting wound up in the idea of marriage is a distraction that is best avoided. Stay in the present moment at all times as much as you can.
Always have lots of TP on hand for your GF ... ladies do not like to run out of TP! Keep the bathroom clean. Don't toss around your dirty clothes on the floors. Clean up after yourself, especially in the kitchen and bathroom.
Be kind to each other. Be nice to each other. Be compassionate with each other's flaws, offering to help each other work on each one's own flaws, but don't expect the flaws to disappear right away, if at all.
Relationships frequently start out with a strong charge (which is the strength of attraction to each other, sort of like the attraction of magnets to each other), then over time, such charges dissipate while the relationship inevitably changes each one to some degrees. Change is inevitable and not a bad thing.
Many times relationships end when there is no more charge, no more attraction, when the each one's journey together has ended and it's time to move on, having be changed/transformed by the relationship for the better.
Ending relationships is not a bad thing ... it's just a change and that's not a bad thing. Be grateful for the time that you have together, beit several months, a year or years.
Develop your own selves, yet work/play together and create memories with which you can take forward in your lives. It's not the material things that you acquire that will make you both happy ... it's the shared experiences, memories that you both would create that is of immense value, much more so than any damn thing that you get on sale at a box store.
You are young only once, so make the best of it.
Be sure to get that book, read it and discuss it with each other. Share the book with others and help them learn how to be successful with relationships by understanding the inherent dynamics of the female/male relationships.
0
ad1260~
I commend you for seeking input from others, even though you had made up your mind about moving in with your GF.
It sounds like that you both are cool young people.
You are doing the right thing in seeking input from others, as this can help you pick up valuable pointers, tips and wisdom that others had learned the hard way, i.e., moving in with their own respective GFs, only to be very glad to separate ASAP.
I'm twice your age and have lived life. I have but one thing to suggest to you and that is this: get a book, "The Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida.
Used copies are available for less than $10 and it'll be the best $10 you will have ever spent, trust me.
A GF of mine strongly recommended this book to me, and after reading it, I could see why, as Deida really tapped into the essences of the female/male dynamics and how to make relationships work.
And this advice goes for ALL of you in these forums, as many of you have had or are in relationships ... with many of you surely struggling with relationships, having women drive you nuts, yes?
Get that book, read it and share it with your GF.
Also, understand that relationships don't necessarily last "forever." This "til death do us part" tradition in marriages/relationships is a load of bullsh!t.
Relationships are great mirrors for each person to experience with each other, reflecting many aspects of each other, especially the flaws inherent within each other ... and that can be hard experiences to go through.
What I mean by "reflecting the flaws with each other" is that when you are close to someone, living with someone, regardless of age, the flaws/imperfections of each other would be quite evident to each other, so it would be a challenge to each to recognize the flaws and work with them in compassionate ways with the hope that the flaws could be changed/transformed, but being realistic that sometimes flaws are almost impossible to eliminate in a lifetime.
Trust in a relationship is like the stock market ... it takes a long time to build trust, but it can fall at free fall speed when trust is broken.
I've seen all sorts of relationships ... monogamous and open relationships with both sorts working very well for the respective people.
If you want an open relationship, then be clear on that and be honest with each other if you are seeing others.
You both are young, very young, so I would suggest for you to focus on the quality of the here~and~now relationship that you have with each other and work on your own flaws the best that you can, to improve one's own flaws/imperfections the best that one can.
Don't worry about whether you both want to be together "forever". Maybe marriage is in the cards, maybe not, but getting wound up in the idea of marriage is a distraction that is best avoided. Stay in the present moment at all times as much as you can.
Always have lots of TP on hand for your GF ... ladies do not like to run out of TP! Keep the bathroom clean. Don't toss around your dirty clothes on the floors. Clean up after yourself, especially in the kitchen and bathroom.
Be kind to each other. Be nice to each other. Be compassionate with each other's flaws, offering to help each other work on each one's own flaws, but don't expect the flaws to disappear right away, if at all.
Relationships frequently start out with a strong charge (which is the strength of attraction to each other, sort of like the attraction of magnets to each other), then over time, such charges dissipate while the relationship inevitably changes each one to some degrees. Change is inevitable and not a bad thing.
Many times relationships end when there is no more charge, no more attraction, when the each one's journey together has ended and it's time to move on, having be changed/transformed by the relationship for the better.
Ending relationships is not a bad thing ... it's just a change and that's not a bad thing. Be grateful for the time that you have together, beit several months, a year or years.
Develop your own selves, yet work/play together and create memories with which you can take forward in your lives. It's not the material things that you acquire that will make you both happy ... it's the shared experiences, memories that you both would create that is of immense value, much more so than any damn thing that you get on sale at a box store.
You are young only once, so make the best of it.
Be sure to get that book, read it and discuss it with each other. Share the book with others and help them learn how to be successful with relationships by understanding the inherent dynamics of the female/male relationships.
I commend you for seeking input from others, even though you had made up your mind about moving in with your GF.
It sounds like that you both are cool young people.
You are doing the right thing in seeking input from others, as this can help you pick up valuable pointers, tips and wisdom that others had learned the hard way, i.e., moving in with their own respective GFs, only to be very glad to separate ASAP.
I'm twice your age and have lived life. I have but one thing to suggest to you and that is this: get a book, "The Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida.
Used copies are available for less than $10 and it'll be the best $10 you will have ever spent, trust me.
A GF of mine strongly recommended this book to me, and after reading it, I could see why, as Deida really tapped into the essences of the female/male dynamics and how to make relationships work.
And this advice goes for ALL of you in these forums, as many of you have had or are in relationships ... with many of you surely struggling with relationships, having women drive you nuts, yes?
Get that book, read it and share it with your GF.
Also, understand that relationships don't necessarily last "forever." This "til death do us part" tradition in marriages/relationships is a load of bullsh!t.
Relationships are great mirrors for each person to experience with each other, reflecting many aspects of each other, especially the flaws inherent within each other ... and that can be hard experiences to go through.
What I mean by "reflecting the flaws with each other" is that when you are close to someone, living with someone, regardless of age, the flaws/imperfections of each other would be quite evident to each other, so it would be a challenge to each to recognize the flaws and work with them in compassionate ways with the hope that the flaws could be changed/transformed, but being realistic that sometimes flaws are almost impossible to eliminate in a lifetime.
Trust in a relationship is like the stock market ... it takes a long time to build trust, but it can fall at free fall speed when trust is broken.
I've seen all sorts of relationships ... monogamous and open relationships with both sorts working very well for the respective people.
If you want an open relationship, then be clear on that and be honest with each other if you are seeing others.
You both are young, very young, so I would suggest for you to focus on the quality of the here~and~now relationship that you have with each other and work on your own flaws the best that you can, to improve one's own flaws/imperfections the best that one can.
Don't worry about whether you both want to be together "forever". Maybe marriage is in the cards, maybe not, but getting wound up in the idea of marriage is a distraction that is best avoided. Stay in the present moment at all times as much as you can.
Always have lots of TP on hand for your GF ... ladies do not like to run out of TP! Keep the bathroom clean. Don't toss around your dirty clothes on the floors. Clean up after yourself, especially in the kitchen and bathroom.
Be kind to each other. Be nice to each other. Be compassionate with each other's flaws, offering to help each other work on each one's own flaws, but don't expect the flaws to disappear right away, if at all.
Relationships frequently start out with a strong charge (which is the strength of attraction to each other, sort of like the attraction of magnets to each other), then over time, such charges dissipate while the relationship inevitably changes each one to some degrees. Change is inevitable and not a bad thing.
Many times relationships end when there is no more charge, no more attraction, when the each one's journey together has ended and it's time to move on, having be changed/transformed by the relationship for the better.
Ending relationships is not a bad thing ... it's just a change and that's not a bad thing. Be grateful for the time that you have together, beit several months, a year or years.
Develop your own selves, yet work/play together and create memories with which you can take forward in your lives. It's not the material things that you acquire that will make you both happy ... it's the shared experiences, memories that you both would create that is of immense value, much more so than any damn thing that you get on sale at a box store.
You are young only once, so make the best of it.
Be sure to get that book, read it and discuss it with each other. Share the book with others and help them learn how to be successful with relationships by understanding the inherent dynamics of the female/male relationships.
Thanks buddy---I'm gonna look in to this book.
I appreciate the constructive feedback!
0
Quote Originally Posted by Mozart:
ad1260~
I commend you for seeking input from others, even though you had made up your mind about moving in with your GF.
It sounds like that you both are cool young people.
You are doing the right thing in seeking input from others, as this can help you pick up valuable pointers, tips and wisdom that others had learned the hard way, i.e., moving in with their own respective GFs, only to be very glad to separate ASAP.
I'm twice your age and have lived life. I have but one thing to suggest to you and that is this: get a book, "The Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida.
Used copies are available for less than $10 and it'll be the best $10 you will have ever spent, trust me.
A GF of mine strongly recommended this book to me, and after reading it, I could see why, as Deida really tapped into the essences of the female/male dynamics and how to make relationships work.
And this advice goes for ALL of you in these forums, as many of you have had or are in relationships ... with many of you surely struggling with relationships, having women drive you nuts, yes?
Get that book, read it and share it with your GF.
Also, understand that relationships don't necessarily last "forever." This "til death do us part" tradition in marriages/relationships is a load of bullsh!t.
Relationships are great mirrors for each person to experience with each other, reflecting many aspects of each other, especially the flaws inherent within each other ... and that can be hard experiences to go through.
What I mean by "reflecting the flaws with each other" is that when you are close to someone, living with someone, regardless of age, the flaws/imperfections of each other would be quite evident to each other, so it would be a challenge to each to recognize the flaws and work with them in compassionate ways with the hope that the flaws could be changed/transformed, but being realistic that sometimes flaws are almost impossible to eliminate in a lifetime.
Trust in a relationship is like the stock market ... it takes a long time to build trust, but it can fall at free fall speed when trust is broken.
I've seen all sorts of relationships ... monogamous and open relationships with both sorts working very well for the respective people.
If you want an open relationship, then be clear on that and be honest with each other if you are seeing others.
You both are young, very young, so I would suggest for you to focus on the quality of the here~and~now relationship that you have with each other and work on your own flaws the best that you can, to improve one's own flaws/imperfections the best that one can.
Don't worry about whether you both want to be together "forever". Maybe marriage is in the cards, maybe not, but getting wound up in the idea of marriage is a distraction that is best avoided. Stay in the present moment at all times as much as you can.
Always have lots of TP on hand for your GF ... ladies do not like to run out of TP! Keep the bathroom clean. Don't toss around your dirty clothes on the floors. Clean up after yourself, especially in the kitchen and bathroom.
Be kind to each other. Be nice to each other. Be compassionate with each other's flaws, offering to help each other work on each one's own flaws, but don't expect the flaws to disappear right away, if at all.
Relationships frequently start out with a strong charge (which is the strength of attraction to each other, sort of like the attraction of magnets to each other), then over time, such charges dissipate while the relationship inevitably changes each one to some degrees. Change is inevitable and not a bad thing.
Many times relationships end when there is no more charge, no more attraction, when the each one's journey together has ended and it's time to move on, having be changed/transformed by the relationship for the better.
Ending relationships is not a bad thing ... it's just a change and that's not a bad thing. Be grateful for the time that you have together, beit several months, a year or years.
Develop your own selves, yet work/play together and create memories with which you can take forward in your lives. It's not the material things that you acquire that will make you both happy ... it's the shared experiences, memories that you both would create that is of immense value, much more so than any damn thing that you get on sale at a box store.
You are young only once, so make the best of it.
Be sure to get that book, read it and discuss it with each other. Share the book with others and help them learn how to be successful with relationships by understanding the inherent dynamics of the female/male relationships.
Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and it better prepares you for the future. I was too young when I lived with my girlfriend (not even 20 years old) but she slept over every night and had some of her things at my place so I thought, "whats the difference?" - as soon as I saw all of her stuff in my apartment from her moving in I panicked. We fought over silly things and it just turned into a disaster and ruined our relationship in about 2 months because neither of us were ready... but you seem better off financially and you may be surprised at how much money is the center of arguments. I waited about 7 or 8 years after that before I even considered it again because I learned so much from the first experience. To me, its a win win. You will know very soon if its going to be a good thing or not... hopefully it works out great and you stay together if that's what you want... on the other hand if it doesn't work out the experience will give you an idea of what that lifestyle is like and have an impact on qualities you look for in girls and in future relationships. Best to you.
0
Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and it better prepares you for the future. I was too young when I lived with my girlfriend (not even 20 years old) but she slept over every night and had some of her things at my place so I thought, "whats the difference?" - as soon as I saw all of her stuff in my apartment from her moving in I panicked. We fought over silly things and it just turned into a disaster and ruined our relationship in about 2 months because neither of us were ready... but you seem better off financially and you may be surprised at how much money is the center of arguments. I waited about 7 or 8 years after that before I even considered it again because I learned so much from the first experience. To me, its a win win. You will know very soon if its going to be a good thing or not... hopefully it works out great and you stay together if that's what you want... on the other hand if it doesn't work out the experience will give you an idea of what that lifestyle is like and have an impact on qualities you look for in girls and in future relationships. Best to you.
Best wishes AD..From your posts about the WSOP Vegas Etc I know you have your head on straight...Go for it man.
Little side note though..put the lease/utilities in your name just incase things break down to the point of splitting up.So you are not the one leaving the residence if some garbage hits the fan.Or have the side stash to manuever an apt rental for yourself in 24 hrs.
I f'up a couple decent fish along the way chasing another that was chasing a better lure..But sounds like you are set.
0
Best wishes AD..From your posts about the WSOP Vegas Etc I know you have your head on straight...Go for it man.
Little side note though..put the lease/utilities in your name just incase things break down to the point of splitting up.So you are not the one leaving the residence if some garbage hits the fan.Or have the side stash to manuever an apt rental for yourself in 24 hrs.
I f'up a couple decent fish along the way chasing another that was chasing a better lure..But sounds like you are set.
Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and it better prepares you for the future. I was too young when I lived with my girlfriend (not even 20 years old) but she slept over every night and had some of her things at my place so I thought, "whats the difference?" - as soon as I saw all of her stuff in my apartment from her moving in I panicked. We fought over silly things and it just turned into a disaster and ruined our relationship in about 2 months because neither of us were ready... but you seem better off financially and you may be surprised at how much money is the center of arguments. I waited about 7 or 8 years after that before I even considered it again because I learned so much from the first experience. To me, its a win win. You will know very soon if its going to be a good thing or not... hopefully it works out great and you stay together if that's what you want... on the other hand if it doesn't work out the experience will give you an idea of what that lifestyle is like and have an impact on qualities you look for in girls and in future relationships. Best to you.
Great feedback man, I appreciate it. I agree with your persecutive and have to view it as a win-win! Yeah, I can't imagine moving in with my girlfriend at 18, 19, 20, etc. Simply because I can reflect on those times now and see how far I have come in every facet of life. At those ages, I was a kid. Thanks for the well wishes. Make some money this week!
0
Quote Originally Posted by FeedMeCappers:
Worst case scenario it doesn't work out and it better prepares you for the future. I was too young when I lived with my girlfriend (not even 20 years old) but she slept over every night and had some of her things at my place so I thought, "whats the difference?" - as soon as I saw all of her stuff in my apartment from her moving in I panicked. We fought over silly things and it just turned into a disaster and ruined our relationship in about 2 months because neither of us were ready... but you seem better off financially and you may be surprised at how much money is the center of arguments. I waited about 7 or 8 years after that before I even considered it again because I learned so much from the first experience. To me, its a win win. You will know very soon if its going to be a good thing or not... hopefully it works out great and you stay together if that's what you want... on the other hand if it doesn't work out the experience will give you an idea of what that lifestyle is like and have an impact on qualities you look for in girls and in future relationships. Best to you.
Great feedback man, I appreciate it. I agree with your persecutive and have to view it as a win-win! Yeah, I can't imagine moving in with my girlfriend at 18, 19, 20, etc. Simply because I can reflect on those times now and see how far I have come in every facet of life. At those ages, I was a kid. Thanks for the well wishes. Make some money this week!
Best wishes AD..From your posts about the WSOP Vegas Etc I know you have your head on straight...Go for it man.
Little side note though..put the lease/utilities in your name just incase things break down to the point of splitting up.So you are not the one leaving the residence if some garbage hits the fan.Or have the side stash to manuever an apt rental for yourself in 24 hrs.
I f'up a couple decent fish along the way chasing another that was chasing a better lure..But sounds like you are set.
jamesxnj,
Hey man glad you could stop by my thread and throw in your input! Thanks for the faith you have in me…I like to think my head is on pretty straight for the most part. That's wise advice from you my friend and I will definitely keep that in mind/heed your warnings
Speaking of Vegas, have you been out there lately? I went twice last year but didn't get a chance to make it out in 2014. BUT I will definitely be out there at some point in 2015. Also, trying to finish up this NFL/NCAAF season on a winning note. Hope all is well man and are making some money
0
Quote Originally Posted by jamesxnj:
Best wishes AD..From your posts about the WSOP Vegas Etc I know you have your head on straight...Go for it man.
Little side note though..put the lease/utilities in your name just incase things break down to the point of splitting up.So you are not the one leaving the residence if some garbage hits the fan.Or have the side stash to manuever an apt rental for yourself in 24 hrs.
I f'up a couple decent fish along the way chasing another that was chasing a better lure..But sounds like you are set.
jamesxnj,
Hey man glad you could stop by my thread and throw in your input! Thanks for the faith you have in me…I like to think my head is on pretty straight for the most part. That's wise advice from you my friend and I will definitely keep that in mind/heed your warnings
Speaking of Vegas, have you been out there lately? I went twice last year but didn't get a chance to make it out in 2014. BUT I will definitely be out there at some point in 2015. Also, trying to finish up this NFL/NCAAF season on a winning note. Hope all is well man and are making some money
This is a very situation dependent discussion. I laughed at a lot of the responses you got. The bottom line is aslong as you are level headed person which you seem to be, it could easily work. The only way I would hesitate if I were you is if she is the shady or controlling type. Trying to descreetly hide who she is texting and such. Only you know what type of girl she is and aslong as she isn't begging for attention on twitter she may be the one. Handshakes
0
This is a very situation dependent discussion. I laughed at a lot of the responses you got. The bottom line is aslong as you are level headed person which you seem to be, it could easily work. The only way I would hesitate if I were you is if she is the shady or controlling type. Trying to descreetly hide who she is texting and such. Only you know what type of girl she is and aslong as she isn't begging for attention on twitter she may be the one. Handshakes
What's the rush to move in? Date a bit more .You are still young. Stay boyfriend and girlfriend that's the best part of it . When you live apart that makes it more exciting when you guys go out. Living with a person tends to take some of the juice out of a relationship just my personal opinion. If you end up together you will be living together for 50 years plus why rush it.Enjoy this time of your life. Everything has place and time.I am personally married for 18 years and chose not to move in until marriage. I happened to like my freedom. You live in your place let her live in hers and she can always spend the night by you.
Good luck I wish you two the best!
0
What's the rush to move in? Date a bit more .You are still young. Stay boyfriend and girlfriend that's the best part of it . When you live apart that makes it more exciting when you guys go out. Living with a person tends to take some of the juice out of a relationship just my personal opinion. If you end up together you will be living together for 50 years plus why rush it.Enjoy this time of your life. Everything has place and time.I am personally married for 18 years and chose not to move in until marriage. I happened to like my freedom. You live in your place let her live in hers and she can always spend the night by you.
Hopefully she's more mature than the last sub-30 year old gf u had. Was 36 and she was 24..also a college grad with a full-time job, like dating a HS/JC girl again. Worst was the break-up and me having to do it..still run into her from time to time and still acts like she doesn't see me, even saying hello to the person next to me but not me...strange age man
0
Hopefully she's more mature than the last sub-30 year old gf u had. Was 36 and she was 24..also a college grad with a full-time job, like dating a HS/JC girl again. Worst was the break-up and me having to do it..still run into her from time to time and still acts like she doesn't see me, even saying hello to the person next to me but not me...strange age man
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