What Did You Learn A Long Time Ago But Haven't Shared Recently

Orgasms cure hiccups.

STREAKS... Respect them

NEVER wager against a Streak.

Either bet WITH the Streak or DO NOT bet at all.

If you don't make eye contact, it's not g@y.

Never go bungee jumping in Mexico. They just don’t have the regulations 

"Dammit I'm Mad" reads the same written backwards.

NOON is also Noon spelled backwards.

Size Don't Matter

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Apple cider vinegar cures acid reflux. L-lysine for cold sores

Avoid the clap

- Jimmy Doogan 

Ye olde palindromes.

What you give is what you get, 

life pays an exact wage!

I dont know that Ive learned anything, guess when Im dead Ill know all there is to know

You think you have problems????

Imagine putting all your problems in a paper bag & climb to the top of a hill where you will meet others standing with their bags placed on the ground in front of them.

When a big gust of wind comes and starts blowing the bags of problems all over the hill, I bet you'll run as fast as hell to grab your bag and not the bag of someone else by mistake.

Still think your problems are so bad???????

Never trust the government it run by humans.

I learned I'm lousy with directions.

I've always wondered where people ended up after they asked me for directions.

My wife told me that I was a great husband & had only 2 faults.

One is I don't listen to her & I can't remember the other one.

Don't lick a frozen flag pole 

Don't piss on an electric fence.

Don't trust something that bleeds for a week every month for years and doesn't die.

@Midnight1

 DAfuq?

Japan's legal system has a 99% conviction rate.

Don't give points on the Road.

You can never be a bigger man by belittling someone else.

 Christmas Vacation is still the best 

1. Never play cards with a man called Doc.

2. Never eat at a place called Mom's.

3. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. (I broke that one more than once)

4. The evil that men do, lives after them. 

Jeez! Not as true anymore. I started the sporting life very young and when I was a kid the old timers were serious about this one. Like home dogs were guaranteed winners. Even back then I felt like I was a better handicapper than all of them. And I was.