What is the funniest saying/ quote you know?

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.

-Steven Wright-

Confucius say "Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with smelly fingers".

I don't know which comedian told this. It was a long time ago.

Doesn't really fit this category but I asked my recently married friend if he beats off alot when the wife is out of town for work.  He responds:

"No, but I put on her panties and cut myself."

Society woman Nancy Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee"

Prime Minister Winston Churchill: "Madam,if I were you husband, I'D DRINK IT"

Always been a big fan of Rodney Dangerfield. Here's another one.

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." 

Quote Originally Posted by koman22:

 nice

koman22 if you never heard that line before then you must be 22 years old 

geez. I forget theres a bunch of kids who were born in the 90's on this site

BTW - the line is true.

I had a model / bikini butt person for a long time. Everybody would stare like she has 3 eyes because she was fine. After fucking her every which way for 3 years --- I was bored and sick of her bitchiness and prep time. Why do you think movie star fuck slags??

In the end im way more attracted to really fine/cute/pretty girls that have more to offer and are much better people in general

I guess I would qualify for both parts of the line: I was sick of fucking her and sick of her shit.  

OMG HOT is not all that

WC Fields

"I'll never forget the time we were stranded on a desert island. We lost our corkscrew, and we were forced to live on food and water for several days"