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Kris Bryant was seen sulking at a table by himself on an Ohio Riverboat earlier this afternoon. He had a plate of waffles sitting in front of him. After further investigation, I came to the realization that the kid was born and raised in Las Vegas. Put two and two together, and you will understand that the Cubs phenom would rather be betting on this event than actually participating in it. This is his first multi-day break of the season, and he it's hardly even a break for him since he has to spend part of it in Cincinnati.
"I mean yeah...it's an honor and all. It's great...but um.. I mean for the fans and all. It'll be an experience..but. I mean it's good..for um...baseball..and I guess.. and..it's a privilege....I guess." was Bryant's response to interviewers, as corn syrup dripped from the left side of his lower lip.
Joc Pederson was spotted in downtown Cincinnati, as he was spotted by J-Rock..who immediately attempted to sell him one of his mixtapes. Pederson reluctantly agrees to put on the Beats By Dre headphones. The first thing he hears his "Young Joc- It's going down". Pederson proceeds to purchase a mixtape, and spends the afternoon with J-Rock and his two children. They record duets the entire afternoon, while Laqueefa is trying to get some rest and relaxation in the hotel's jacuzzi.
"What does a hoodrat gotta do to get some tranquility up in dis joint? It's like I need a tranquilizer to tranquilize dis place wit y'all making dat noise like Method man and Fred Durst be makin music again!" yells Laqueefa in frustration as another cornrow unravels.
Manny Machado was spotted watching Scarface in his hotel room at the Westin in downtown Cincinnati. When the movie ended, he paid another $6.99 to watch it again.
Anthony Rizzo appears to be in much better spirits than his fellow teammate, as he realizes that this may be the only title he ever wins as a Cub. However, he does miss the quality of the deep dish pizzas back in Chicago. While hungry, he spends the entire day trying to find some good food. In the distance, he sees Fakooki's Gyro stand. The Triple Goat Special is occurring as tourists are flocking to the stand. Kids under the age of 22 get free cotton candy as well. Rizzo sincerely passes on the opportunity to eat and engages in an autograph signing session instead, as an overweight child wearing a XXXXL Youth Cubs jersey comes running up to him with a sharpie.
Josh Donaldson took an extra day off to fly down to Cincinnati and prepare for the event. He is seen on the Ohio River jumping from barge to barge. As Kris Bryant accidentally drops his waffle, Donaldson flies out of nowhere and catches it before it hits the ground. He then slides across the boat at full speed and almost knocks a waitress over the ledge. A glass of orange juice and a plate of jalapeno corned beef infused Ceviche flies into the river. The waitress is very cross, and tells him to please leave the premises through one of the available rescue boats. Kris Bryant says "Hey Josh, you do realize that no defense is involved in the Home Run Derby right?"
"Oh really?" replies Donaldson as he stares at his glove with confusion.
Todd Frazier is so caught up with fan festivities that he is fully unaware that the derby is tonight. A clown creates a balloon of a baseball bat, and Todd is pretending to swing at bouncy balls while simultaneously playing catch with an nineteen year old child. "Mommy mommy! I met Todd. He threw a baseball to me. Maybe some day I can play for the Reds too!" yells the kid, as him and his parents head over to Fakooki's for some free cotton candy. Frazier then proceeds to the bouncy castle.
Prince Fielder has been at Fakooki's Gyro stand the entire afternoon, and is already on his eleventh triple goat gyro. He also shaved this morning to try to appear as a twenty one year old so that he too could enjoy free cotton candy. Fakooki calls his bluff, and Fielder ends up buying $53.41 worth of cotton candy throughout the day. He also has been right at the stand all day so that he does not lose his place in line. Ciaopang brings his own rice to the Gyro stand to ask Fakooki for some goat meat, but Prince pushes him aside claiming that he was there first. There is only enough goat now for one more gyro.
Albert Pujols spends the entire day with Hector and his family. He feels sympathy for the kid, as he heard about him being bitten by nine different animals in the past seven days (7 marine 2 land) and realizes that Shark Week did not make things any easier. "Hectorino got de bite here and there ju sthee. He don wana do e sthurgery so we take di livs from de tamales and put it aroun hith hand," explains Hector's mother.
"Why don't we just speak in spanish?" suggests Pujols.
Albert sees the bouncy castle and points Hector towards it. Hector is delighted and runs to the inflated contraption, but right there and then Todd Frazier jumps in at full speed sending Hector flying thirty nine feet out of the castle and into Fakooki's gyro stand.
"Ohhh noo miiii Hectorino!!!" yells his mother.
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