I really wanted to like this movie. Deep down, I figured it would be absolute garbage but, me and my kids were either going to see, Cabin in the Woods, or The Three Stooges. I knew the Cabin flick would be much more interesting and fun to see, but, I grew up watching the Stooges on weekends, late night, and on every New Year's Eve marathon. Basically, I dragged my kids to see The Three Stooges. They rolled their eyes when I mentioned it. From beginning to end, I was almost forcing myself to somewhat laugh at some of the scenes; only because I had put myself into an awkward position of playing up the Stooges to the kids and hoping the movie would deliver. There was barely a funny moment worth mentioning in the entire movie. Although, the pissing baby fight was the best scene in the entire movie. And that's not saying much. It's like working on a construction site for weeks without seeing a woman when an average-at-best looking woman shows up. The workers check her out, knowing full well she's nothing worth staring at, let alone bangable. Nevertheless, what's one of the first things you hear from someone's mouth after she's out of hearing distance? "I'd hit that." "Man, she's kinda hot." "Hmm, maybe I'll go punch one out right now." In essence, one decent funny scene involving baby piss doesn't a good movie make.
TRAIN, this wasn't a tribute to the Three Stooges just because it was a movie about them. I've seen movies about Godzilla, does that mean the makers of the movie made a tribute to Godzilla? How about Monster, the Aileen Wuornos story. Was that a tribute to the now famous woman serial-killer? A tribute is an act, statement, or gift that's intended to show gratitude, respect, or admiration. While the Farrelly Brothers may say this is a tribute to what The Three Stooges have given us as entertainment, their actions say something very different. The magic of the Stooges comes from who plays them, not the characters. Only Moe can be Moe, godammit! Only Curly can be Curly... obviously. The Farrelly brothers experiment with replicating what is one of the most difficult acts to replicate in Hollywood history. What they couldn't capture, they copied. That's not only utter bullshit, it's a recipe for a shit sandwich. What came from the original Stooges came from within the Three Stooges. It was them we fell in love with and laughed with, not some actors being directed by some guys who've always wanted to make a movie involving them.
How much CGI was in this movie? Too much. Why not try and keep with the spirit of the original and come up with other, less computer-driven ways to spice up the special effects? That chainsaw to the head scene almost had me thinking he was going to embed it into his brain. I wasn't ready for a realistic, computer generated attack on Curly's head... it has always been the fake, soft saw run across Curly's head with a quick cut to the now mangled saw. That was the brilliance of it. We knew it was fake, there was no hiding it... it was absurd. CGI in The Three Stooges was a bad idea.
The Farrelly brothers would have done better by plucking the actual characters from the original film reels and super-imposing them onto present-day digital backgrounds. Placing the characters into present-day situations, and giving a half-hearted attempt at mimicking original script ideas is not a good mixture for a successful tribute. Perhaps a time machine would have sufficed in aiding in my suspension of disbelief. For no matter how crazy and unbelievable The Three Stooges were, I didn't care how outlandish they were. In their most recent incarnation, they try too hard to copycat the originals. Unfortunately for me, that's all I can see.
The Farrelly brothers' Three Stooges is not fun, funny, or enjoyable. Maybe someday I'll watch it with the director's commentary on, and they'll tell us why one of the brothers has such big boobs.
This movie lost any shred of credibility when Snooki and the rest of her Jersey Shore pals make cameo appearances. I almost took my kids and walked out right then. I haven't been so disappointed by a movie since Deep Blue Sea, I snuck in to that and still ended up leaving before it ended.
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