Posted:
#1
Dear Miami’s Big Three,
Guten Tag!
Congratulations on making it to the Finals during year one of the Super Friends experiment in Miami.
You didn’t have to struggle through 13 seasons with one franchise and keep plugging away. You didn’t have to experience being embarrassed by the Golden State Warriors in round one, or be called “soft” for over a decade. I admire you guys.
You didn’t even have to grow out your hair throughout the season so you could use it as a disguise when your team was inexplicably bounced from the playoffs. Do you know how tough it is to pretend to be a 7-foot German woman in the offseason?
You guys bypassed the concept of team growth and skipped a few steps in the process to become a champion.
Make no mistake about it, we’re coming from you. We’re taking our talents to South Beach for the NBA Finals. We’ve got our bags packed and our Bengay ready.
I’ve been in the gym. I’ve been practicing my one-legged fadeaway jumpshot, my sideways leaning jumpshot, my other sideways leaning jumpshot---you name it. I’m even working on my eyes closed running jumper. Yeah, that’s right. Eyes closed, BITCHES!
Everyone’s in the gym. The Jet has been practicing his airplane arms. JJ Barea is out on the soccer field taking flops. Jason Kidd has been watching Hot Tub Time Machine. Tyson Chandler is working on his "Who me? That foul was on me?" face. We’re ready.
Don’t schedule a dance party just yet. We’re crashing the party.
Sincerely,
The Dirk
SJP’s NBA Finals Prediction: The King will be crowned. Maybe.
SJP's NBA In-Season Championship Futures: Miami Heat (PENDING)
Guten Tag!
Congratulations on making it to the Finals during year one of the Super Friends experiment in Miami.
You didn’t have to struggle through 13 seasons with one franchise and keep plugging away. You didn’t have to experience being embarrassed by the Golden State Warriors in round one, or be called “soft” for over a decade. I admire you guys.
You didn’t even have to grow out your hair throughout the season so you could use it as a disguise when your team was inexplicably bounced from the playoffs. Do you know how tough it is to pretend to be a 7-foot German woman in the offseason?
You guys bypassed the concept of team growth and skipped a few steps in the process to become a champion.
Make no mistake about it, we’re coming from you. We’re taking our talents to South Beach for the NBA Finals. We’ve got our bags packed and our Bengay ready.
I’ve been in the gym. I’ve been practicing my one-legged fadeaway jumpshot, my sideways leaning jumpshot, my other sideways leaning jumpshot---you name it. I’m even working on my eyes closed running jumper. Yeah, that’s right. Eyes closed, BITCHES!
Everyone’s in the gym. The Jet has been practicing his airplane arms. JJ Barea is out on the soccer field taking flops. Jason Kidd has been watching Hot Tub Time Machine. Tyson Chandler is working on his "Who me? That foul was on me?" face. We’re ready.
Don’t schedule a dance party just yet. We’re crashing the party.
Sincerely,
The Dirk
SJP’s NBA Finals Prediction: The King will be crowned. Maybe.
SJP's NBA In-Season Championship Futures: Miami Heat (PENDING)
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