A Night at Qualcomm with my Two Kids

I'm 45 years old and have been gambling for as long as I can remember.

Like most if not all of you, I love gambling.  I love handicapping.  I love numbers, trends, probability....I like rooting in my picks from the couch...I love everything there is about betting...and I always have.

But perhaps the best part of it all, as almost all on this site would confess, is the rush of winning.  That profound "high" you get rooting in your bet that you worked so hard to handicap, research and figure out.  Or simply, the bet that you made with zero handicapping at all but, regardless, its still and winner and you were on the right side.  When it cashes...man, nothing like it right?  I'm right there with you.

In the 25+ years that I've been gambling, if I'm honest, I'd say that I've probably lost maybe $75K-$100K.  That's conservative and that's being honest.  Despite those awesome weekends where I might win $1000 or $1500 in football, there seem to be just so many more weekends where I lost the same (or more) and feel downright sick.  You sit there in your all too familiar place sweating out the last few minutes of a game that seems to determine what your outlook for the following week (or at least next day or two) will be.  I've been there so many times asking (the football gods?) for that one break, that one time, to just go my way.. its happened so many damn times that at this point its become laughable....but at the same time, kind of sad as I reflect on it. 

At this point as some read this they are saying, "well, I'm just a recreational gambler...I do this crap for fun...this guy is different though, he's obviously got a problem".  If that's true for you, you're in a good spot.  No harm in making things "interesting" as they say and staying within your means....as long as you do that and are honest with yourself. 

For me, I'm not really in that spot.  I have a problem with gambling - chasing losses, betting beyond my means, allowing it to be more of a priority in my life than it should be - not all the time obviously but more frequently than I think most would consider "normal" and I've finally recognized that.  I've gotten to the point where the highs of winning no longer seem to outweigh those bottom outs/depressions of losing.  In short, I've let gambling do to me what I never ever intended to let anything or anyone do to me...and that's let it get a hold of me.  Life's too friggin' short to let anyone or anything get a hold of you.  Beyond the financial repercussions (they're not hugely significant but they are measureable) there's a price that I've paid just in terms of how much time I've devoted to watching all this stuff - time that I could be doing something more constructive, most notably with my kids and family.        

OK..OK...OK..so (if you're still reading my endless drivel) what's up with the title you ask?  Well terseness and getting to the point have never been my strong suit but without further adieu here it is...

For the past 5-6 weeks I've been betting SDSU pretty big each time and they've covered incredibly like 6 times in a row or something (except for a push last weekend).  Curiously, despite the incredible run with them over the past month and half, I still managed to have losing weeks just with other bets that lost miserably...the story of my life.  

After finally taking stock in myself and recognizing that I've been really wasting my time, money, positive energy and a healthy portion of my life on this suckers game, I placed my final bet on the SDSU/Air Force game tonight at Qualcomm stadium.  I know even that statement sounds kind of silly/moronic but forgive my delivery...but its the absolute truth.  I took the entire balance in my on-line account ($2600) and placed the biggest single game amount that I've ever placed on a game.

I knew that win or lose it would be my very last sports bet I ever place.  If it won, great - I would cash out with a good amount and throw it in the bank with no coming back.  If it lost, well it will go down as the most expensive beat/loss and would do nothing but punctuate the closing page of a now finished book (no pun intended). 

My 10 year old son is a huge SDSU fan and my 8 year old daughter just loves to scream, cheer and dance to all that NEW music (remember I'm 45 ) that they play at the stadium so she was all in to it.  I took the two of them, we rooted for our Aztecs, and had a great time as the good guys won in a tight one 27-24!  The three of us had a blast at the game.

It was only fitting, and I mean that in the most GENUINE way, that the team that the 3 of us were rooting for all night actually won the game but didn't cover the 6 points that the gamblers needed them to cover.  Couldn't have scripted a more indelible ending....at least not personally for me. 

I lost the bet....a BIG bet and for the first time that I can ever remember, and I'm being completely honest here, had little to no regret or resentment over the loss knowing that it was the last time I would do it (win or lose).

Was I rooting for them to win by a TD?...I've been 100% honest to this point and I will end on that note....of course I was as you already know.  But the fact that it ended on the wrong side didn't seem to even bother me, down deep.  It felt more like a disappointing relief...strange to say but its the best way I can explain it.

I know I'll get a bunch of responses saying..."see you tomorrow" and "do yourself a favor and bet___ (<--insert NFL team here)" and that's alright...Its cool...I get it - its a friggin' betting website with all sorts of characters on it.  I'll probably get a laugh out of those kind of responses honestly.  But ultimately, for those that actually read all of this, I hope the message had some value to at least some of you and it caused you to pause if you happened to think of your own case as you read my story.

Thanks for listening... 

Breakem - You're me just 10 years behind me.  Grew up playing "The Card" trying to pick 4 winners in the NFL to turn $10 into $100.  How hard can it be right??   Best of luck to you going forward, whatever you decide.

NeverMind - Thanks for the kind words brother.  You're right about "we lost" and celebrating the win anyway.  Tough but it is what it is.  And now was what it was.  All the best.

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This is the best piece of information I've ever received on this board.  Its even more powerful hearing it from someone else who has been the route.  Thanks Funny Cide.

Philly - Been to GA off and on...its another resource that has value if you are committed and determined.  Good point and thanks

Milk - Reconciliation...that's right.  You summed it up in one word better then I did maybe?  Thanks bro.

Hoya - Used to be a 7 handicap in golf (that means semi-good)when I was younger and not so much tied into this betting thing.  So finding an activity to "fill the void" as you pointed out will be at the golf course.  Its better than sweating out these foolish games on Sat/Sun and is stress free (for the most part ).

Thank you all for listening and even more for sharing what you had to say.  Means a lot.  BOL to all.

Sorry Funny Cide...left out your quote above.  Comment about how your son will remember the next 10 years I terms of your role as a dad is what I referred to as the best advice that I ever saw here. Thanks.

Your post really hit home. I been gambling for over 20 years and make a 6 figure income however, have nothing to show for it due to my degenerate habit. I have had many winning weeks, but have had more losing weeks. The highs of winning is never greater than the lows of losing. I share in the same misery that a lot of gamblers face which is my daily emotions are based only if I had a winning day or not. The saddest part is even after winnings it’s never really that satisfying.

Your post was somewhat of an intervention for me. I have a 1 year old toddler at home and although I like to think I’m a good father I’m probably not because I spent a lot of my time on the weekends glued to the tv and phone watching the games when I should be watching my son grow up.

Thanks for putting yourself out there for creating this post.