Remember the first Terminator ? When Arnold barged into the police station looking for Sarah Connor ? And proceeded to destroy , annihilate , and thoroughly obliterate everything in his path ? Although Sarah and her pretty boy sex doll time traveler from the future scurried out and away from harm like a couple of mice darting through a hole just missing the swing of your hammer that caused 683 dollars of damage to your floorboard ?
yeah , don’t do that . Don’t go to your Sportsbook headquarters and do that . They’ll riddle your soft little body full of gigantic holes . The sun shall show through you like one of those special balls that they hang over dancefloors to get that cool effect .
you’re not built for that . They’ll erase you out of your meager existence faster than the time it takes to lick a stamp . Plus what will your incarcerated girlfriend do with you no longer in the picture ? Who’s gonna emotionally support her ? Who’s gonna be there when every butch chick that can lift 100 pounds over their heads threatens to manipulate her clitoris ? And most importantly who’s gonna send her 10 percent of whatever they make like she’s some kind of medieval church rule that saps the funds of its congregation yet “ guarantees “ them a place in heaven ?
probably just the 7 other suckers she’s got on speed dial waiting inside her illegal contraband smart phone that’s deftly tucked into her mattress springs that’s who …..
listen , I want you to succeed ok ? Maybe you should just write them an email or send a homing pidgin or some shit . That form of conveyance works for mike Tyson , and look how he turned it around and what he made of himself …..and he had some big problems…
all I’m saying is don’t go in guns blazing and not thinking . There’s a little thing called LAWS and you will find yourself tossing salad when no lettuce or tomatoes are anywhere near your person ….
it’s good to be reactive , but please , no , pretty please , with sugar on top , don’t get high on cocaine and think your Rambo from the second movie ……
God bless you , good tidings , may your first child be a masculine child , and nice hit on the Bills 
This ain’t beach blanket bingo gentlemen , so stop showing your tits , cuz they’re coming out your tops
Our covers brother , the venerable Danny with the cleft chin , and holder of season tickets to the famous Donkey show in Tijuana ( front row ) is in trouble and pleading for our help and the best you can do is vomit up some inane drivel and mediocre banter akin to what one would hear while eavesdropping on a conversation between two bums riding public transit ?
Get the fuck out of here with that tiny speck of booger meat that you deem assistance . You need to learn to bypass the first , second , third , and all the way up to 78th thing you feel you need to say , and really dig deep to pick out something useful …..
cuz the nuggets you guys are doling out are worse than the 97-98 Denver team with Priest Lauderdale and Danny Fortson…..
now I understand in this tik tok , social media , instant gratification landscape where we live , that every fucking nerd wannabe cool guy just has to post their thoughts on “ important “ subjects like which twizzler flavor is the best or show us a video of their fucking dog playing the piano like Liberace but what the fuck ?
I’m very displeased and full of chagrins at both of you and your lack of self awareness to the current situation unfolding before our eyes like that blanket you put away before the summer started that has a dead mouse in it when you take it out in October because your feet and balls are chilly ….
it ain’t my problem you got goosebumps on your taints so buck up and soldier on . This battlefield is full of bloodshed and Danny’s head just rolled passed you like a hubcap off of an old man’s car when he took a turn too fast ….
And that’s all you guys can murmur out ?
I’ll give you another chance to be on the save Danny from distress team ….
But now you better bring it like you’re some wiry and flexible cheerleader from an early 2000s movie and come up with some sort of remedy to curtail the disastrous events that are unfolding before our visine coated and sparklingly beautiful eyes ….
thank you again for your cooperation and I look forward to speaking with you in the future . But to do so you guys are gonna need to get a time machine cuz I’m so far ahead of you and you two are still grunting up while looking at the stars club in hand unconscious hairy bitch in the other ….
I can only truly get killed if they both lose this week and then tie next week. Seems so unlikely but that would be just my luck.
I'm hoping for a Jags win Sunday then I will hedge next week.
Surprisingly I got an email back and they said it should be graded tonight or tomorrow morning. Will see.
@packersbackers
I bet it all on the Packers this year now I'm living on EBT under a bridge. People keep saying that Rodgers guy is good but I swear I keep seeing him down here looking for a score.
Anyways I guess you don't follow well. I have near $100,000 at risk on this crap here and it could all go bust as bad as the Packers do in the playoffs every year.
But look on the bright side guy. At least you don't have to watch Rodgers choke the season away in Lambeau this year. That has become an annual tradition lately.
$4000 is a "modest win". Lol. Roflmao. I picture you betting $11 for $10 then crying when Rodgers chokes yet again costing you $11. Or are you more of a $5 ten team parlay guy. One or the other I'm sure
Hey wait a minute . I’m not saying let’s tongue kiss each other till we get tired and need to take a break to get some air , but let’s not pull out our Hattori Hanzo swords and mincemeat ourselves into cat food either ….
since when in the eyes of a normal and sober society has poking someone in the chest till it turns concave been an acceptable and prudent act ?
did we not learn anything from Nelson Mandela or Scooby Doo either ?
Peace is a prized possession and having a snack when you’re a high as fuck mongrel are two of the most important things I learned while traversing this insanely complicated spherical landscape you book readin’ motherfuckers call the planet earth ….
now I’m guessing you two gentlemen both have at least one hand connected to an arm that is part of a body that has a head with a brain inside it ….
Now let’s get back to business , and look towards the future like it’s a pretty girl with big tits …..
so please , would you each kindly extend a hand in friendship , and let’s swashbuckle this most devious endeavor of attempting to besmirch , terrorize , and all together shit in a non sexual way on each other’s chest , head , face and clavicle …..
the constant double upping of discourteousness is really stagnating my high and it is leaving me unable to enter the 7th dimension of the Candy cane forest …..
god bless you both , merry belated Christmas , Hanukkah , Kwanzaa , or Festivus , and happy new year or Chinese New Year if you’re really eccentric and go that route …..
our lives are speeding by gentlemen , like a motorcyclist high on methamphetamines , with a rather large and unruly ferret navigating it’s way through dude’s rectal canal…..
so have fun before you crash into a telephone poll and take out the power to every vibrator throughout a 4 city block radius ….
time is of the essence , and both of those words interestingly enough are also the names of magazines although nobody reads them anymore because it’s a dying business …..
So To both of you , good luck and continued success , and knock this shit off
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