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Remember this summer, when at times it looked as if the NFL was doomed to miss at least part of the regular season?
Those were dark days. We’re lucky the players and owners smoothed things out before a gem like Thursday’s clash between the Saints and Packers became some sort of cyber eulogy played out only on Madden 12 – or maybe just Madden 11 if the lockout persisted.
Imagine where you would be if the NFL lockout continued into September and threw a wrench into Week 1 of the schedule. What would you be doing? What would you bet on? Would you care?
As fans of alternate realities, here are you options in a world without NFL football for September 8, 2011:
- Arizona at Oklahoma State: Since there’s no NFL, college football is king. Meaning all betting value NCAA pigskin held before the lockout is dried up like Sharon Stone. Enjoy getting raked over the coals just to wager on 20-year-old kids. And you thought Nevin Shapiro’s actions were bad in Miami – wait until every betting booster gets their claws into the money machine that is NFL-free college football.
- Phillies at Brewers: Baseball gets a major bump in attention without football hogging the ratings and the headlines. “America’s Favorite Past Time” reclaims that title after finishing second to the NFL since the 1994 strike. The surge in revenue allows rich teams like the Phillies and Yankees to build to their already-amazing lineups. Philadelphia starts Justin Verlander vs. the Brewers, then goes with Cole Hamels, Felix Hernandez, and closer Tim Lincecum out of the bullpen. Roy Halladay pinch hits.
- Stampeders at Eskimos: Without NFL around, kid brother explodes in popularity – with fans and bettors. This battle for Alberta was supposed to be the lone game this Friday night, but with the sudden explosion in interest, the league pulls a brash and unprecedented move and reissues the failed American CFL franchises mid-season to capitalize on the football-starved U.S. market. Teams like the Sacramento Gold Miners, Baltimore Stallions, Las Vegas Posse, Shreveport Pirates, Birmingham Barracudas, and Memphis Mad Dogs are brought back from the dead. Three downs are better than no downs, I suppose…
- Shock at Mercury: With the NFL lockout in full swing and the NBA stoppage on the same path, fearful basketball fans have flocked to the WNBA like it was the mother ship. In this scary alternate reality, the Shock still stink but more people know about it. Without the NFL and possibly the NBA, the WNBA has decided to expand its season into December. Dear God, I want to get off this ride!
- Rapids at Galaxy: When football is replaced with futebol in North America, we’ve hit rock bottom. Since there’s no NFL, the MLS has taken on new fans like ship-wrecked floaters clinging to pieces of debris, and Friday’s Colorado-L.A. matchup is a big deal in your house. Your kids aren’t wearing their favorite NFL players’ jersey anymore and have instead traded it in for a David Beckham shirt and that stupid faux-hawk haircut. You feel like falling to your knees a la Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. You maniacs!
Scary, isn’t it? Thank your lucky stars the NFL is back in business. Imagine what horrors lie ahead without the NBA – or we could just watch college ball…
Good luck this NFL season!
Those were dark days. We’re lucky the players and owners smoothed things out before a gem like Thursday’s clash between the Saints and Packers became some sort of cyber eulogy played out only on Madden 12 – or maybe just Madden 11 if the lockout persisted.
Imagine where you would be if the NFL lockout continued into September and threw a wrench into Week 1 of the schedule. What would you be doing? What would you bet on? Would you care?
As fans of alternate realities, here are you options in a world without NFL football for September 8, 2011:
- Arizona at Oklahoma State: Since there’s no NFL, college football is king. Meaning all betting value NCAA pigskin held before the lockout is dried up like Sharon Stone. Enjoy getting raked over the coals just to wager on 20-year-old kids. And you thought Nevin Shapiro’s actions were bad in Miami – wait until every betting booster gets their claws into the money machine that is NFL-free college football.
- Phillies at Brewers: Baseball gets a major bump in attention without football hogging the ratings and the headlines. “America’s Favorite Past Time” reclaims that title after finishing second to the NFL since the 1994 strike. The surge in revenue allows rich teams like the Phillies and Yankees to build to their already-amazing lineups. Philadelphia starts Justin Verlander vs. the Brewers, then goes with Cole Hamels, Felix Hernandez, and closer Tim Lincecum out of the bullpen. Roy Halladay pinch hits.
- Stampeders at Eskimos: Without NFL around, kid brother explodes in popularity – with fans and bettors. This battle for Alberta was supposed to be the lone game this Friday night, but with the sudden explosion in interest, the league pulls a brash and unprecedented move and reissues the failed American CFL franchises mid-season to capitalize on the football-starved U.S. market. Teams like the Sacramento Gold Miners, Baltimore Stallions, Las Vegas Posse, Shreveport Pirates, Birmingham Barracudas, and Memphis Mad Dogs are brought back from the dead. Three downs are better than no downs, I suppose…
- Shock at Mercury: With the NFL lockout in full swing and the NBA stoppage on the same path, fearful basketball fans have flocked to the WNBA like it was the mother ship. In this scary alternate reality, the Shock still stink but more people know about it. Without the NFL and possibly the NBA, the WNBA has decided to expand its season into December. Dear God, I want to get off this ride!
- Rapids at Galaxy: When football is replaced with futebol in North America, we’ve hit rock bottom. Since there’s no NFL, the MLS has taken on new fans like ship-wrecked floaters clinging to pieces of debris, and Friday’s Colorado-L.A. matchup is a big deal in your house. Your kids aren’t wearing their favorite NFL players’ jersey anymore and have instead traded it in for a David Beckham shirt and that stupid faux-hawk haircut. You feel like falling to your knees a la Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. You maniacs!
Scary, isn’t it? Thank your lucky stars the NFL is back in business. Imagine what horrors lie ahead without the NBA – or we could just watch college ball…
Good luck this NFL season!
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