Breaking News - Trump to now target Canadian NHL teams

Didn't think it would come to this 

According to Fox news US President Donald Trump is seeking to have all seven Canadian teams relocated to the United States as further punishment in the on going trade dispute between the countries 

Also this is also believed to be hitting back at Canada by targeting their national game in retaliation for the LCBO removing American bourbon, wine and beer from their shelves and tariffs imposed on oil and electricity imports from Canada not to mention the relentless continued booing of the US national anthem 

Trump is quoted to have said '' we're going to hit them where it hurts, hockey I was thinking baseball or basketball but they don't really care about that stuff, they care about hockey and hockey So there it is,  we're going bring all their teams to the glorious lower 50 states and open up exciting new cities for American fans to enjoy the game the game of hockey The National Hockey League I believe its what it's called not the Canadian Hockey League They started this trade war and I'm just amping it up a little where it hurts them the most and best part is all those dollars the players earn will be staying in the lower 50 not going north of the border so there you have it''

Both DJT and JD Vance are sitting down in the coming days with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to discuss the move The President's team believe Bettman will be on board with the move when he realises the NHL will save money overall by not having tariffs placed on Canadians teams and also players not having to lose too much by switching to the weaker Canadian dollar 

Sources inside the White House say that he has sat down with advisers to come up with a relocation plan that may even happen as soon as before the playoffs later this month  Logistically nightmare according to some insiders but doable

Preferred destinations and the reasoning behind it  include 

Winnipeg Jets to Phoenix, Arizona,  Again ! Just might work out better second time round 

Vancouver Canucks to Portland, Oregon Don't have to move far not so bad 

Calgary Flames to Atlanta, Georgia  Again President Trump states Canada stole the Flames from the great city of Atlanta back in the 70's, just returning to their rightful home is all it is

Edmonton Oilers to Houston, Texas  don't even have to change name ' Great name, the Oilers suits the city of Houston don't cha think ' 

Ottawa Senators to Kansas City, Missouri  Hockey in the Heartland  Oklahoma also a possible destination too 

Montreal Canadiens to Hartford, Connecticut   Great to see the Whalers back 

and 

Toronto Maple Leafs to Cleveland, Ohio  The Buckeye Leafs 

Also President Trump states that when Canada finally stops this trade war they have started and joins the glorious Union of the United States as it's 51st State it will get a team back to represent all of Canada but not in Montreal, not in Montreal possibly back to the former capital Ottawa but we shall see 

Nice April fools post.

A great April fools joke directed at a fool. 

Can the Sabres move too?

@Crazy_Train

Maybe, Trump will be thinking  Sabres have a lot of Canadian fans in Southern Ontario that cross the border to see them so maybe if they move to Atlantic City they can also visit his new casino he is planning on building   

@I-Got-5-On-It

What makes this such a good riff is that one need not try very hard to imagine Trump and his band of buffoons cooking up a half-baked idea like this.

The Democratic Party is preferable. No buffoons there!

Can we give Canada the New York Jets and Miami Marlins at least  

Lots of Capitals backers today, and understandably so since the Caps are in Boston to face the dead men walking Boston Bruins. But are any Caps backers concerned that the team might overlook the towel-tossing B's when Washington has a much more meaningful game tomorrow night in Raleigh?

lol

this sounds like something you'd regularly see on CNN or MSNBC