People wonder why Americans hate soccer

I got a better idea. All you friggin guys that "hate this sport" and are just a complete D-Gen that since, ESPN has put it on TV, you have to bet it, get the F*ck out of here.

Go be a waste in the baseball forum. It hasn't even been a week and this place is getting to me.

We will all miss your "expert opinions" but I am sure we will get by.

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world for three very important and very social reasons:

1. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) poor. Not just poor, but dirt poor. So poor that clothes are a luxury. About half the planet lives this way, so it comes to pass that the most cherished form of social recreation is the one needing the least amount of upkeep, maintenance and investment. Soccer is the only sport in the world that needs next to nothing to play. All you need is a ball and, in some cases, not even that. Where a ball isn't available, use what's handy, like a sheep bladder, or a dog skull, or some rags wrapped together, so long as it can roll. And you can play it anywhere. In dirt, grass, gravel, any place where there is a flat surface, and hell, it's not really mandatory that the surface be completely flat. People will make-do with just about any locale. That makes it the most universal sport, accessible to every class, caste, and social status on the planet.
2. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) stupid. As a result, the form of recreation most appreciated is the one that's easily understood by everybody; a game so simple that you can explain it to a retard while standing on one foot. There is really only one rule: Don't use your hands. Everyone can learn that. Everyone can understand that. It's the one sport that easily crosses language and cultural boundaries due to its simplicity. If you were sent to a foreign planet with instructions to teach the aliens one earth game, without knowing anything about their language, customs or culture, the one game you could teach them is soccer. Just think how far you'd get trying to explain the rules of football or hockey to foreigners who don't understand your language. Soccer doesn't have this problem. It is the one sport that transcends language, culture, race, and intelligence.
3. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) untalented. Many sports require a certain level of coordination and an innate set of complex skills that need to be applied to enjoy them at an optimum level. Hitting a small flying ball, skating, throwing, tackling, catching. But anyone can kick a ball. Soccer is the one sport in the world that requires the lowest level of physical commitment to enjoy it on a personal level. It takes practically no time to learn how to play, and even less time to enjoy playing it. That makes it perfect for the most uncoordinated and unathletic people on the planet. It is perfect for the athletically optimal and sloven alike.

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world for three very important and very social reasons:

1. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) poor. Not just poor, but dirt poor. So poor that clothes are a luxury. About half the planet lives this way, so it comes to pass that the most cherished form of social recreation is the one needing the least amount of upkeep, maintenance and investment. Soccer is the only sport in the world that needs next to nothing to play. All you need is a ball and, in some cases, not even that. Where a ball isn't available, use what's handy, like a sheep bladder, or a dog skull, or some rags wrapped together, so long as it can roll. And you can play it anywhere. In dirt, grass, gravel, any place where there is a flat surface, and hell, it's not really mandatory that the surface be completely flat. People will make-do with just about any locale. That makes it the most universal sport, accessible to every class, caste, and social status on the planet.
2. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) stupid. As a result, the form of recreation most appreciated is the one that's easily understood by everybody; a game so simple that you can explain it to a retard while standing on one foot. There is really only one rule: Don't use your hands. Everyone can learn that. Everyone can understand that. It's the one sport that easily crosses language and cultural boundaries due to its simplicity. If you were sent to a foreign planet with instructions to teach the aliens one earth game, without knowing anything about their language, customs or culture, the one game you could teach them is soccer. Just think how far you'd get trying to explain the rules of football or hockey to foreigners who don't understand your language. Soccer doesn't have this problem. It is the one sport that transcends language, culture, race, and intelligence.
3. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) untalented. Many sports require a certain level of coordination and an innate set of complex skills that need to be applied to enjoy them at an optimum level. Hitting a small flying ball, skating, throwing, tackling, catching. But anyone can kick a ball. Soccer is the one sport in the world that requires the lowest level of physical commitment to enjoy it on a personal level. It takes practically no time to learn how to play, and even less time to enjoy playing it. That makes it perfect for the most uncoordinated and unathletic people on the planet. It is perfect for the athletically optimal and sloven alike.

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world for three very important and very social reasons:

1. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) poor. Not just poor, but dirt poor. So poor that clothes are a luxury. About half the planet lives this way, so it comes to pass that the most cherished form of social recreation is the one needing the least amount of upkeep, maintenance and investment. Soccer is the only sport in the world that needs next to nothing to play. All you need is a ball and, in some cases, not even that. Where a ball isn't available, use what's handy, like a sheep bladder, or a dog skull, or some rags wrapped together, so long as it can roll. And you can play it anywhere. In dirt, grass, gravel, any place where there is a flat surface, and hell, it's not really mandatory that the surface be completely flat. People will make-do with just about any locale. That makes it the most universal sport, accessible to every class, caste, and social status on the planet.
2. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) stupid. As a result, the form of recreation most appreciated is the one that's easily understood by everybody; a game so simple that you can explain it to a retard while standing on one foot. There is really only one rule: Don't use your hands. Everyone can learn that. Everyone can understand that. It's the one sport that easily crosses language and cultural boundaries due to its simplicity. If you were sent to a foreign planet with instructions to teach the aliens one earth game, without knowing anything about their language, customs or culture, the one game you could teach them is soccer. Just think how far you'd get trying to explain the rules of football or hockey to foreigners who don't understand your language. Soccer doesn't have this problem. It is the one sport that transcends language, culture, race, and intelligence.
3. The vast majority of the planet is (comparatively) untalented. Many sports require a certain level of coordination and an innate set of complex skills that need to be applied to enjoy them at an optimum level. Hitting a small flying ball, skating, throwing, tackling, catching. But anyone can kick a ball. Soccer is the one sport in the world that requires the lowest level of physical commitment to enjoy it on a personal level. It takes practically no time to learn how to play, and even less time to enjoy playing it. That makes it perfect for the most uncoordinated and unathletic people on the planet. It is perfect for the athletically optimal and sloven alike.