If your concern is really for your daughter, then go for full custody. You aren't going to be able to dictate who she dates and has around her. Assaulting him is the worst thing to do as it will land you in jail and render you defenseless. Everybody has been shot down. Man up and take care of your kid. She didn't ask to be here or in this situation.
I have already spoken to a lawyer and full custody is not a viable option. Since we were not married she technically has sole custody. With her being clean for 7+ months there is no way in Wisconsin that a judge will give me full custody. I am 99% sure I will not assault him, but it does make me happy to think about it. Taking care of my kid will never be an issue, I love that little girl more than anything and she is the reason I havent done anything drastic.
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Quote Originally Posted by THE-KID:
If your concern is really for your daughter, then go for full custody. You aren't going to be able to dictate who she dates and has around her. Assaulting him is the worst thing to do as it will land you in jail and render you defenseless. Everybody has been shot down. Man up and take care of your kid. She didn't ask to be here or in this situation.
I have already spoken to a lawyer and full custody is not a viable option. Since we were not married she technically has sole custody. With her being clean for 7+ months there is no way in Wisconsin that a judge will give me full custody. I am 99% sure I will not assault him, but it does make me happy to think about it. Taking care of my kid will never be an issue, I love that little girl more than anything and she is the reason I havent done anything drastic.
You have alot of good advice from your fellow covers brothers. Take care of yourself and your daughter my friend. Things will get better for you....One day at time
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You have alot of good advice from your fellow covers brothers. Take care of yourself and your daughter my friend. Things will get better for you....One day at time
My fellow Man heart goes out to you this evening,Frnke.
For your daughter's sake,and your own sanity,please maintain your composure...as excruciating as this will be;nonetheless.
If you had a son going through the exact situation,whatever advice you would give him,is the same exact advice you should comport yourself by as you cope with this ordeal.
Stay strong, Frnke.
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Quote Originally Posted by OakleyDoak:
My fellow Man heart goes out to you this evening,Frnke.
For your daughter's sake,and your own sanity,please maintain your composure...as excruciating as this will be;nonetheless.
If you had a son going through the exact situation,whatever advice you would give him,is the same exact advice you should comport yourself by as you cope with this ordeal.
You should be able to get custody if you're situation is as you say.
As far as her let it go. DO NOT send this letter you're only creating trouble for yourself. Your ex knows what she did. She chose this. She chose him and drugs over you. It's painful to boil it down to it's essence but that's the situation. You lost, a long time ago it sounds like, nice job trying to come back but it was over when she met this guy. Chalk it up to experience and move on... There's always another game. You just look forward don't forgive but move on. Your daughter will hate this woman when she grows up but you're the parent you can hate this woman but hate her silently for now; your daughter is still going to look at her as "Mom" for a few more years don't strip that childhood nicety away. Sorry to hear this happened to you.
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You should be able to get custody if you're situation is as you say.
As far as her let it go. DO NOT send this letter you're only creating trouble for yourself. Your ex knows what she did. She chose this. She chose him and drugs over you. It's painful to boil it down to it's essence but that's the situation. You lost, a long time ago it sounds like, nice job trying to come back but it was over when she met this guy. Chalk it up to experience and move on... There's always another game. You just look forward don't forgive but move on. Your daughter will hate this woman when she grows up but you're the parent you can hate this woman but hate her silently for now; your daughter is still going to look at her as "Mom" for a few more years don't strip that childhood nicety away. Sorry to hear this happened to you.
Thanks for the kind words. I am trying to handle this the best that I can. Its been two months now and we will still be living together for another 3 until the closing on our house. In the last 2 months there have probably been only 4 "bad" days, the rest have been good or manageable. I just need to go out and find myself a slump buster, bring her home and fuck on our old bed and leave the used condom on her pillow.
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Thanks for the kind words. I am trying to handle this the best that I can. Its been two months now and we will still be living together for another 3 until the closing on our house. In the last 2 months there have probably been only 4 "bad" days, the rest have been good or manageable. I just need to go out and find myself a slump buster, bring her home and fuck on our old bed and leave the used condom on her pillow.
Move on with your life- take care of your daughter- right now that's all you can do-
Tom Leykis once said- "Every morning at breakfast, as you look across the table, just remember, that was the best that you could do".
Is she the best that you can do?
My guess is no- so move on and never look back- no regrets-
Your biggest problem, as previously stated, is that you are going to have some contact because of your daughter- suck it up and do what you have to so you can be a positive influence for your girl-
Good luck-
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Move on with your life- take care of your daughter- right now that's all you can do-
Tom Leykis once said- "Every morning at breakfast, as you look across the table, just remember, that was the best that you could do".
Is she the best that you can do?
My guess is no- so move on and never look back- no regrets-
Your biggest problem, as previously stated, is that you are going to have some contact because of your daughter- suck it up and do what you have to so you can be a positive influence for your girl-
I have already spoken to a lawyer and full custody is not a viable option. Since we were not married she technically has sole custody. With her being clean for 7+ months there is no way in Wisconsin that a judge will give me full custody. I am 99% sure I will not assault him, but it does make me happy to think about it. Taking care of my kid will never be an issue, I love that little girl more than anything and she is the reason I havent done anything drastic.
Fire the attorney and find one will do what you want. In any negotiation, ask high. That's all you'll be doing. Then you can scare the shit out of them and watch them squirm.
If you work and pay taxes in this country, you have the benefit of the use of our police and its judicial systems. Use it. Take advantage of it. It's an entity you pay for, so make the calls and meet the people. Keep telling the police about her POS boyfriend and ask them to keep an eye out for they guy. Explain to them what has happened and you'll get support - trust me, police know all too well about divorce. They'll fuck with him and with her. You're sending a signal that you are not to be trifled with.
For Gods' sake, stay above reproach. If you're going out partying, be smart and stay away from driving. Avoid physical conflicts and you'll show the judge the kind of person you are. When the judge makes a decision, your actions, especially during your undertaking at child rearing, dramatically sways a judge. If he/she is looking at what you've done, vs. what she's done, after you've documented her actions and relationships, you'll come out on top.
THAT is how you win full custody.
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Quote Originally Posted by Frnke4Finger:
I have already spoken to a lawyer and full custody is not a viable option. Since we were not married she technically has sole custody. With her being clean for 7+ months there is no way in Wisconsin that a judge will give me full custody. I am 99% sure I will not assault him, but it does make me happy to think about it. Taking care of my kid will never be an issue, I love that little girl more than anything and she is the reason I havent done anything drastic.
Fire the attorney and find one will do what you want. In any negotiation, ask high. That's all you'll be doing. Then you can scare the shit out of them and watch them squirm.
If you work and pay taxes in this country, you have the benefit of the use of our police and its judicial systems. Use it. Take advantage of it. It's an entity you pay for, so make the calls and meet the people. Keep telling the police about her POS boyfriend and ask them to keep an eye out for they guy. Explain to them what has happened and you'll get support - trust me, police know all too well about divorce. They'll fuck with him and with her. You're sending a signal that you are not to be trifled with.
For Gods' sake, stay above reproach. If you're going out partying, be smart and stay away from driving. Avoid physical conflicts and you'll show the judge the kind of person you are. When the judge makes a decision, your actions, especially during your undertaking at child rearing, dramatically sways a judge. If he/she is looking at what you've done, vs. what she's done, after you've documented her actions and relationships, you'll come out on top.
Writing the letter may well have been the best choice that you could have made---emotions need an outlet and this has allowed you to discharge an enormous amount of emotional energy without getting physical or crazy.You seem quite sane ,but terribly frustrated --which is purely normal. The issue to understand here is that you DON'T HAVE CONTROL-----that is for most of us unbearable. To think that you can't restore your life as it once was ---no matter how much you wish for things to get better now---you have to accept that you don't have that power. Life presents all of us with situations that we wouldn't wish on anyone else. You will get through this---you are not the 1st person to endure an identical drama. Take care of yourself brother ---if you have a spiritual connection -it would be good to use it. You are responsible for your own happiness,and also--NOT responsible for making someone else's life work. Love your daughter and remove yourself from the outcome---time heals almost everything.---
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Writing the letter may well have been the best choice that you could have made---emotions need an outlet and this has allowed you to discharge an enormous amount of emotional energy without getting physical or crazy.You seem quite sane ,but terribly frustrated --which is purely normal. The issue to understand here is that you DON'T HAVE CONTROL-----that is for most of us unbearable. To think that you can't restore your life as it once was ---no matter how much you wish for things to get better now---you have to accept that you don't have that power. Life presents all of us with situations that we wouldn't wish on anyone else. You will get through this---you are not the 1st person to endure an identical drama. Take care of yourself brother ---if you have a spiritual connection -it would be good to use it. You are responsible for your own happiness,and also--NOT responsible for making someone else's life work. Love your daughter and remove yourself from the outcome---time heals almost everything.---
Dont send letter! You can't change people into who you want them to be. She is a self centered broad with no sense and that is what it is. Be a man suck it up,and do what is best for your daughter! Good luck and god bless!
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Dont send letter! You can't change people into who you want them to be. She is a self centered broad with no sense and that is what it is. Be a man suck it up,and do what is best for your daughter! Good luck and god bless!
It was good to write the letter and get your feelings out. Now take it and put it through the shredder. It will do you absolutely no good.
Stay positive for your daughter and if you think she is in a potentially harmful situation then you should work with a lawyer to be your advocate. Remember that you are paying and tell the lawyer that respectfully, you are making the strategic decisions and asking him/her to implement. Unless they give you great reasons to the contrary, they should be willing to devise a way to advocate for your plan.
Sorry it did not work out, but at this point it is about safety for your daughter and you moving on with your life in a positive manner.
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It was good to write the letter and get your feelings out. Now take it and put it through the shredder. It will do you absolutely no good.
Stay positive for your daughter and if you think she is in a potentially harmful situation then you should work with a lawyer to be your advocate. Remember that you are paying and tell the lawyer that respectfully, you are making the strategic decisions and asking him/her to implement. Unless they give you great reasons to the contrary, they should be willing to devise a way to advocate for your plan.
Sorry it did not work out, but at this point it is about safety for your daughter and you moving on with your life in a positive manner.
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