A hate letter

Question

Ive always heard the saying that you should "write it in a letter" and see if you really want to send it. Well heres my letter.

How could you do this? How could you do this to me and to our daughter? 8 years! 8 fucking years of ups (mostly) and downs and its so easy for you to throw away? Ive been there for you through all of your disappointments. I was even there when you lost your job due to drug addiction. When you begged me not to leave you (never an option because of how much I loved you) and told me that you had changed your mind about marriage and that I was the love of your life and you never wanted to lose that. So you check yourself into NA and I stand by your side, even tell you how proud of you I am that you are now getting the help that you need. I support you the best I know how, I stand by you through 7 months of unemployment and never once doubt my love for you. God I hate you so fucking much right now! Everything I did, I did for my family, and you have taken all that away from me. I went against my better judgement when I found out you were be-friending a guy who was a junkie. I looked past all the phone calls in the other room because I NEVER wanted to stand in the way of your recovery. Hell I even forgave you when I found out you FUCKED him 6 days after you told me we were through because I knew it would be best for our daughter. I don't know how many times I can break before I shatter, but I can't be willing to find out. We just sold our dream house and now I have to put my life back together again. How can you be so selfish? You tell me how much I mean to you, how you can't live without my friendship in your life and how you love me so much but your not in love with me...well FUCK that. I don't need cliche bombs dropped on me. I hope that one day maybe we can be friends but I can't promise you anything. It kills me not to talk to you but it kills me more to spend the day with you only to have you call that junkie piece of shit when its all done. If you EVER bring him around my daughter, I will show you and him how ugly and angry I can get. I would/could kill for my little angel, so don't push it. I really hope he is everything you want because I would really hate for you to have fucked up EVERYTHING for some piece of trash that prays on vulnerable women...just know this...It will be too fucking late when you realize what you have cost yourself. Your career, your family and your supposed best friend (me) because if you really loved me (even if you werent in love with me) you would never do this to someone you care about. I know that I will eventually get through this but I'm not sure about you, I know how weak/insecure you are and how easily you can get down on yourself when you know you have fucked up, but I can't worry about that anymore. You obviously are only going to worry about your wants and needs, so I need to do the same. We will always be linked together because you gave me the greatest thing I will ever experience (Ava) and time may heal most wounds, but I will NEVER forget, I will never forget you stomping on my heart, my life and my dreams, I will never forget you choosing some junkie loser that youve known for six months over the last 8 years, 1 baby, 1 house and countless memories that we had.

p.s. Thanks for making me cry.

Frnke4Finger · Answer

Ive always heard the saying that you should "write it in a letter" and see if you really want to send it. Well heres my letter.

How could you do this? How could you do this to me and to our daughter? 8 years! 8 fucking years of ups (mostly) and downs and its so easy for you to throw away? Ive been there for you through all of your disappointments. I was even there when you lost your job due to drug addiction. When you begged me not to leave you (never an option because of how much I loved you) and told me that you had changed your mind about marriage and that I was the love of your life and you never wanted to lose that. So you check yourself into NA and I stand by your side, even tell you how proud of you I am that you are now getting the help that you need. I support you the best I know how, I stand by you through 7 months of unemployment and never once doubt my love for you. God I hate you so fucking much right now! Everything I did, I did for my family, and you have taken all that away from me. I went against my better judgement when I found out you were be-friending a guy who was a junkie. I looked past all the phone calls in the other room because I NEVER wanted to stand in the way of your recovery. Hell I even forgave you when I found out you FUCKED him 6 days after you told me we were through because I knew it would be best for our daughter. I don't know how many times I can break before I shatter, but I can't be willing to find out. We just sold our dream house and now I have to put my life back together again. How can you be so selfish? You tell me how much I mean to you, how you can't live without my friendship in your life and how you love me so much but your not in love with me...well FUCK that. I don't need cliche bombs dropped on me. I hope that one day maybe we can be friends but I can't promise you anything. It kills me not to talk to you but it kills me more to spend the day with you only to have you call that junkie piece of shit when its all done. If you EVER bring him around my daughter, I will show you and him how ugly and angry I can get. I would/could kill for my little angel, so don't push it. I really hope he is everything you want because I would really hate for you to have fucked up EVERYTHING for some piece of trash that prays on vulnerable women...just know this...It will be too fucking late when you realize what you have cost yourself. Your career, your family and your supposed best friend (me) because if you really loved me (even if you werent in love with me) you would never do this to someone you care about. I know that I will eventually get through this but I'm not sure about you, I know how weak/insecure you are and how easily you can get down on yourself when you know you have fucked up, but I can't worry about that anymore. You obviously are only going to worry about your wants and needs, so I need to do the same. We will always be linked together because you gave me the greatest thing I will ever experience (Ava) and time may heal most wounds, but I will NEVER forget, I will never forget you stomping on my heart, my life and my dreams, I will never forget you choosing some junkie loser that youve known for six months over the last 8 years, 1 baby, 1 house and countless memories that we had.

p.s. Thanks for making me cry.

Weathered · Answer

I would take the part out about threatening to kill her.

If the other guy actually did something to her and the cops found a letter like this in her possession it would not look good on you.

You have motive and premeditation. Not good.

Other than that I doubt she would care anyway even if you did send this to her. When people get hooks on drugs thats all they care about.

She did not leave you for him. She left you because he has access to what she wants/needs.

If you offered her drugs every day she would have never left.

Your better off for you and your daughters sake to either try and help her (from a distance at this point), or stay far away.

Good luck man

OakleyDoak · Answer

My fellow Man heart goes out to you this evening,Frnke.

For your daughter's sake,and your own sanity,please maintain your composure...as excruciating as this will be;nonetheless.

If you had a son going through the exact situation,whatever advice you would give him,is the same exact advice you should comport yourself by as you cope with this ordeal.

Stay strong, Frnke.

callmetim · Answer

This will do you zero good. Don&#x27;t send it. Your letter makes you look like a whiner and a box. Walk tall..flowers grow everywhere. As hard as this may be on you, you have to do this... stay out of communication with her. Every time I had a break up and stayed out of communication, they have always, and I mean always, come back. The one time I didn&#x27;t, and did what you&#x27;re about to and perhaps are doing, it bit me in the ass big time. Show her, by blocking her out of your life, that she is not worthy of you and she&#x27;s unimportant. We all know what people are like when they want something they can&#x27;t have. You need to look at the bright side of this - you were living with a big time USER. Move on.

Ap1Bfreetorun · Answer

Best wishes, I hope things work out in a way that will let you be happy. Take care of that daughter. Don't kill your wife, she is not worth it and you would hurt your daughter. Probably it is 90% the addictions fault and 10% she is just a bitch. I may have my percentages backward, I have been wrong before.

Henry-Lilly · Answer

Nothing brings relief like brand new piece of booty!! Get your ass out there.

Seriously, hang on to your dignity, talk to a therapist and be there for your daughter. If both of her parents are fucked up who does she have? Control what you can control and let go of the rest. She's on her on trip...just let it go and focus on you, your daughter and being a good dad.

bill1947 · Answer

Take the kill part out, and move on.It hurts, but, you will find someone who cares.  Stay positive, and don&#x27;t rush in to another relationship.....

Frnke4Finger · Answer

&#xD;&#xA;Not my wife, just an ex-girlfriend.  I would never kill her BUT I would cause great physical harm to junkie.

TRAIN69 · Answer

It will do no good. She obviously is too far gone. Get your daughter out of there pronto. You cant be there and watch her 24/7 ....that junkie WILL be around her, thats a guarantee.

Its time you look out for #1(your little girl) and yourself....leave the trash behind

I wish you the best of luck bro

STEELDRC · Answer

cheer up box is a dime a doz

southerngroove · Answer

DON&#x27;T SEND THAT LETTER. Especially with the killing statement in it. Having gone through two divorces myself, and having to leave my eighteen month old daughter, was the hardest thing I&#x27;ve ever had to go through. The most important thing is always stay in touch with her, don&#x27;t have any communication with the ex, unless it involves your daughter. Time will past and things will get better, it&#x27;s hard right now, but you can and will get through it. Your daughter will not always be a little child, she will grow up and then she will know. Try too stay as busy as you can, that will help keep your mind from constantly thinking about your situation. Stay away from negative thinking people, and try to stay as positive as you can. Good Luck.

ASkinsFanInDixi · Answer

Hail.......&#xD;&#xA;I agree with the fellows who say don&#x27;t send it. Take what you got out of it just by writng it. Save it a couple days and read it again. You r hurting my friend and this to shall pass. &#xD;&#xA;Take your child and 1 of her friends to a game or even weekend getaway. Just take some time with your child and hopefully the big ptichure will become clear. For the last thing that child needs is a junkie in her life.&#xD;&#xA;God Bless and BOL &#xD;&#xA; out

cacabware · Answer

wow. don&#x27;t send that dude. hit the streets and go bar to bar til you get laid..................

Molsen · Answer

send that shit.

ben3496 · Answer

I don&#x27;t know your situation, but do not send that letter.  Priority #1 is get your daughter the F@CK away from her.  Once you have her, go get a lawyer a.s.a.p, tell them the story and they should be able to handle the rest for you and your daughter. Good luck bro

Hugh_Jorgan · Answer

[Quote: Originally Posted by ben3496] &#xD;&#xA;I don&#x27;t know your situation, but do not send that letter.  Priority #1 is get your daughter the F@CK away from her.  Once you have her, go get a lawyer a.s.a.p, tell them the story and they should be able to handle the rest for you and your daughter. Good luck bro&#xD;&#xA;[/Quote]&#xD;&#xA;IMO, If he gets a lawyer he will only get partial custody of his daughter. Unless I&#x27;m mistaken, it seems his gf went to NA, met some guy while at an NA meeting and hooked up with him. His gf has been &#x27;clean&#x27; for approx 6 months and is still in treatment, I don&#x27;t think that a judge will hold that against her.

Frnke4Finger · Answer

[Quote: Originally Posted by Hugh_Jorgan] &#xD;&#xA;&#xD;&#xA;IMO, If he gets a lawyer he will only get partial custody of his daughter. Unless I&#x27;m mistaken, it seems his gf went to NA, met some guy while at an NA meeting and hooked up with him. His gf has been &#x27;clean&#x27; for approx 6 months and is still in treatment, I don&#x27;t think that a judge will hold that against her.&#xD;&#xA;[/Quote]&#xD;&#xA;You&#x27;re pretty close.  She has been clean for about 7 months now, and I DONT want to take out daughter away from her.  I just do not want that POS anywhere around my daughter.  I have made this point very clear and she said she respects that.  She still swears that they are NOT in a relationship.  She does not want a relationship with anyone right now so she can "get herself right".  She just talks with this junkie everyday and sees him at meetings and at some NA functions according to her.  He is NOT someone she could ever have a relationship with due to his past (many arrests and domestic abuse as well as 5 kids with 2 women) his "friendship" just means alot to her.  Blah blah blah.

ct216 · Answer

sorry to say it but once a junkie always a junkie, wouldn&#x27;t take her back even if she came crawling.

Molsen · Answer

someone in recovery shouldn&#x27;t have a relationship with anyone for 12&#x2B; months.  give her another few months to get more therapy and then reevaluate the situation.  good luck, Frnke.  i feel for ya.

Frnke4Finger · Answer

I get what your saying, but the program can work for people.  My dad has been a recovered alcoholic for 34 years.  If you REALLY want to be clean you can be.  As far as taking her back, I can never say never, but I feel that ship has sailed.  We can get along for my daughters sake, but I cant ever see being with her again.

Hugh_Jorgan · Answer

&#xD;&#xA;often suggested   rarely practiced

cacabware · Answer

[Quote: Originally Posted by Frnke4Finger] &#xD;&#xA;&#xD;&#xA;You&#x27;re pretty close.  She has been clean for about 7 months now, and I DONT want to take out daughter away from her.  I just do not want that POS anywhere around my daughter.  I have made this point very clear and she said she respects that.  She still swears that they are NOT in a relationship.  She does not want a relationship with anyone right now so she can "get herself right".  She just talks with this junkie everyday and sees him at meetings and at some NA functions according to her.  He is NOT someone she could ever have a relationship with due to his past (many arrests and domestic abuse as well as 5 kids with 2 women) his "friendship" just means alot to her.  Blah blah blah.&#xD;&#xA;[/Quote]&#xD;&#xA; &#xD;&#xA;sorry to break this to you,,,,but sounds like shes with this guy,,,,she&#x27;s just giving you some time til she makes it public

Frnke4Finger · Answer

If shes with him than it is what it is and I got passed over for a junkie (dont know what that say about me), other than hiding her drug abuse she has been honest about everything else.  So if shes lying (which is the big thing about the program to not lie) than shame on her and me.  She may still be fucking him, but just not in a "relationship" with him.

THE-KID · Answer

If your concern is really for your daughter, then go for full custody.  You aren&#x27;t going to be able to dictate who she dates and has around her.  Assaulting him is the worst thing to do as it will land you in jail and render you defenseless. Everybody has been shot down. Man up and take care of your kid. She didn&#x27;t ask to be here or in this situation.

A hate letter

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