I went to the Redbox up the street today to check out my daily movie. Today a watched a movie called Solitary Man. If you are a depressed idiot like I am do not watch this movie. It features a 65 year old guy who has such a great personality he can have sex with fine ass 18 year old girls. He has sex with whoever he wants. Then he loses everything and has to get a job as a waiter. Very depressing movie but still good. I would like to be in his shoes for a week. No longer because he is 65.
Lucan I feel horrible for terminally ill people and I make donations when I can to Make a Wish and other causes. The fact that I'm not terminally ill makes me very thankful but it doesn't make me happy and wanting to talk to people.
I think I have a problem with clinical depression. I think a lot of it has to do with drug abuse. I'm still on drugs. Opiates and benzos. I just want to go back in time but thats not happening and time is ticking. Approaching mid 30's and life is not shining on me. I know other people go through the same thing and I feel bad for those people.
Thanks for shooting the dirt guys it helps if only for a brief moment.
Oh and I am too scared to actually shoot myself. Too much of a failure to even off myself. Not worth my salt.
legwand Niacin is vitamin B3. I take a mens centrum every day and it has 16mg B3 in it which is 80% of what your body needs. I'm sure I get the other 20% from food.
What really gets to me is that I cant take care of my family. I feel worthless, I am worthless.
no one home in my house of pain
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I went to the Redbox up the street today to check out my daily movie. Today a watched a movie called Solitary Man. If you are a depressed idiot like I am do not watch this movie. It features a 65 year old guy who has such a great personality he can have sex with fine ass 18 year old girls. He has sex with whoever he wants. Then he loses everything and has to get a job as a waiter. Very depressing movie but still good. I would like to be in his shoes for a week. No longer because he is 65.
Lucan I feel horrible for terminally ill people and I make donations when I can to Make a Wish and other causes. The fact that I'm not terminally ill makes me very thankful but it doesn't make me happy and wanting to talk to people.
I think I have a problem with clinical depression. I think a lot of it has to do with drug abuse. I'm still on drugs. Opiates and benzos. I just want to go back in time but thats not happening and time is ticking. Approaching mid 30's and life is not shining on me. I know other people go through the same thing and I feel bad for those people.
Thanks for shooting the dirt guys it helps if only for a brief moment.
Oh and I am too scared to actually shoot myself. Too much of a failure to even off myself. Not worth my salt.
legwand Niacin is vitamin B3. I take a mens centrum every day and it has 16mg B3 in it which is 80% of what your body needs. I'm sure I get the other 20% from food.
What really gets to me is that I cant take care of my family. I feel worthless, I am worthless.
I saw Duhamel when he won the WSOP main event at age 23 and I daydreamed about what that must be like. He looks a lot like me which made it more real. People wanting to be around you, popular, money to spend, and you do something you love for a living. People want your autograph. Its not to be for me. Came crashing down to reality as my wife screamed at me for not doing the dishes yesterday.
Then I see that Prince Willhelm is getting married. I wondered what it would be like to be a prince of england. Wow what a life. I guess you can just order women daily to be with you and make you feel great. Women who want to be there with you.
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I saw Duhamel when he won the WSOP main event at age 23 and I daydreamed about what that must be like. He looks a lot like me which made it more real. People wanting to be around you, popular, money to spend, and you do something you love for a living. People want your autograph. Its not to be for me. Came crashing down to reality as my wife screamed at me for not doing the dishes yesterday.
Then I see that Prince Willhelm is getting married. I wondered what it would be like to be a prince of england. Wow what a life. I guess you can just order women daily to be with you and make you feel great. Women who want to be there with you.
I don't have anything to do with people, because of what i done for a living. Nobody can know where i lived except a few i grew up with that i trust.
Its not that i dislike people, i just don't give a shit being around them. Life has come simple for me and i like it that why.
My space is my space, my time is my time. It works out great. Doctors have told me i have been bleeding on my brain a few months back, and it had stopped. I figured i must have a few more things to do before i move on to be with my dad and friends from my past.
Being told your dieing kinda freaks you out at 1st but after time goes bye you except it. I guess because you have no choose.
Depression thats not me, bad nerves hell yes...
Look the way i see it, sometimes life can be a bitch, but you really don't know how good you got it till you lose it. Doctors don't care they tell all the patients wanting pain meds...etc these days, you just depressed. So they want lose their license, but in the mean time the people who take the depression meds get more depressed. Theres noway you can tell me something like Abilify for depression is for millions of people when no two humans have the same DNA there has to be a crimcial inbalance.
I say get a cain pole, go set by a lake or creek and catch some fish, theres ways to work threw what ever life deals you. But it comes from within, its what you think, you have to be incharge of yourself. Can't never could...
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I don't have anything to do with people, because of what i done for a living. Nobody can know where i lived except a few i grew up with that i trust.
Its not that i dislike people, i just don't give a shit being around them. Life has come simple for me and i like it that why.
My space is my space, my time is my time. It works out great. Doctors have told me i have been bleeding on my brain a few months back, and it had stopped. I figured i must have a few more things to do before i move on to be with my dad and friends from my past.
Being told your dieing kinda freaks you out at 1st but after time goes bye you except it. I guess because you have no choose.
Depression thats not me, bad nerves hell yes...
Look the way i see it, sometimes life can be a bitch, but you really don't know how good you got it till you lose it. Doctors don't care they tell all the patients wanting pain meds...etc these days, you just depressed. So they want lose their license, but in the mean time the people who take the depression meds get more depressed. Theres noway you can tell me something like Abilify for depression is for millions of people when no two humans have the same DNA there has to be a crimcial inbalance.
I say get a cain pole, go set by a lake or creek and catch some fish, theres ways to work threw what ever life deals you. But it comes from within, its what you think, you have to be incharge of yourself. Can't never could...
Proto Legwand is correct in saying a higher dose of b vitamins can help with depression. A healthy person can usually take much higher than the FDA recommended doses because b vitamins are water soullable. That and talk to your doctor about tapering your benzos as they can be very dangerous to come off of all at once.
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Proto Legwand is correct in saying a higher dose of b vitamins can help with depression. A healthy person can usually take much higher than the FDA recommended doses because b vitamins are water soullable. That and talk to your doctor about tapering your benzos as they can be very dangerous to come off of all at once.
I was going through a sever depression then heard about niacin and I now take 2 500mg pills 3x a day for a total of 3,000mg a day and I feel amazing. I am dating a beautiful girl and couldn't be happier. I highly recommend trying it. It can't hurt anything. It is all natural. I do not believe in chemicals to alter peoples moods. It is just pharmaceutical companies robbing people getting them addicted to drugs. All the drugs you need are sold at your local vitamin store. Good luck.
It's also good to have for passing drug tests In large doses it is a fat burner to the point that you turn red and feel like you have a sunburn for an hour... not the best thing for your liver, but if you have 2 or 3 days to pass a drug test niacin can be very helpful. I've used it every time I had to pass a drug test or help someone else pass and we are 4 for 4.
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Quote Originally Posted by legwand:
I was going through a sever depression then heard about niacin and I now take 2 500mg pills 3x a day for a total of 3,000mg a day and I feel amazing. I am dating a beautiful girl and couldn't be happier. I highly recommend trying it. It can't hurt anything. It is all natural. I do not believe in chemicals to alter peoples moods. It is just pharmaceutical companies robbing people getting them addicted to drugs. All the drugs you need are sold at your local vitamin store. Good luck.
It's also good to have for passing drug tests In large doses it is a fat burner to the point that you turn red and feel like you have a sunburn for an hour... not the best thing for your liver, but if you have 2 or 3 days to pass a drug test niacin can be very helpful. I've used it every time I had to pass a drug test or help someone else pass and we are 4 for 4.
Can you go into more detail about the opiate and benzo addiction? Are you prescribed these or do you buy them? Both can be so hard to kick.... but i have seen people with serious addictions to both of these quit cold turkey... both of them started smoking weed like cigarettes, and started smoking cigarettes like most people breathe, but that's way better than staying on the drugs and dumping more time and money away.
Protostar - it's about BABY STEPS. The idea of kicking all of your problems and getting out of this hole is a big job, but in your mind it feels like it is impossible, so you don't even try. Don't look at everything you need to do, take it one step at a time. Set small goals... the biggest thing causing your depression is that you aren't making progress - but you don't have to making 6 figures tomorrow to be happy, all you have to do is take one step in the right direction today and you'll sleep better tonight knowing that you are on the right track. Set small goals, and take baby steps each day. You don't have to fix everything at once to feel better, you'll feel much better as soon as you start making progress.
It's like when you are in the hole betting a lot (we'll say a grand just for the discussion)... you feel like shit.. and eventually when you get it down to 400... you would never imagine that it could feel so good to be down 400, but it does right? Feels like you might as well be up money... because you are making progress.
Baby steps.
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Can you go into more detail about the opiate and benzo addiction? Are you prescribed these or do you buy them? Both can be so hard to kick.... but i have seen people with serious addictions to both of these quit cold turkey... both of them started smoking weed like cigarettes, and started smoking cigarettes like most people breathe, but that's way better than staying on the drugs and dumping more time and money away.
Protostar - it's about BABY STEPS. The idea of kicking all of your problems and getting out of this hole is a big job, but in your mind it feels like it is impossible, so you don't even try. Don't look at everything you need to do, take it one step at a time. Set small goals... the biggest thing causing your depression is that you aren't making progress - but you don't have to making 6 figures tomorrow to be happy, all you have to do is take one step in the right direction today and you'll sleep better tonight knowing that you are on the right track. Set small goals, and take baby steps each day. You don't have to fix everything at once to feel better, you'll feel much better as soon as you start making progress.
It's like when you are in the hole betting a lot (we'll say a grand just for the discussion)... you feel like shit.. and eventually when you get it down to 400... you would never imagine that it could feel so good to be down 400, but it does right? Feels like you might as well be up money... because you are making progress.
Can you go into more detail about the opiate and benzo addiction? Are you prescribed these or do you buy them? Both can be so hard to kick.... but i have seen people with serious addictions to both of these quit cold turkey... both of them started smoking weed like cigarettes, and started smoking cigarettes like most people breathe, but that's way better than staying on the drugs and dumping more time and money away.
Protostar - it's about BABY STEPS. The idea of kicking all of your problems and getting out of this hole is a big job, but in your mind it feels like it is impossible, so you don't even try. Don't look at everything you need to do, take it one step at a time. Set small goals... the biggest thing causing your depression is that you aren't making progress - but you don't have to making 6 figures tomorrow to be happy, all you have to do is take one step in the right direction today and you'll sleep better tonight knowing that you are on the right track. Set small goals, and take baby steps each day. You don't have to fix everything at once to feel better, you'll feel much better as soon as you start making progress.
It's like when you are in the hole betting a lot (we'll say a grand just for the discussion)... you feel like shit.. and eventually when you get it down to 400... you would never imagine that it could feel so good to be down 400, but it does right? Feels like you might as well be up money... because you are making progress.
Baby steps.
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Quote Originally Posted by Spitfire15:
Can you go into more detail about the opiate and benzo addiction? Are you prescribed these or do you buy them? Both can be so hard to kick.... but i have seen people with serious addictions to both of these quit cold turkey... both of them started smoking weed like cigarettes, and started smoking cigarettes like most people breathe, but that's way better than staying on the drugs and dumping more time and money away.
Protostar - it's about BABY STEPS. The idea of kicking all of your problems and getting out of this hole is a big job, but in your mind it feels like it is impossible, so you don't even try. Don't look at everything you need to do, take it one step at a time. Set small goals... the biggest thing causing your depression is that you aren't making progress - but you don't have to making 6 figures tomorrow to be happy, all you have to do is take one step in the right direction today and you'll sleep better tonight knowing that you are on the right track. Set small goals, and take baby steps each day. You don't have to fix everything at once to feel better, you'll feel much better as soon as you start making progress.
It's like when you are in the hole betting a lot (we'll say a grand just for the discussion)... you feel like shit.. and eventually when you get it down to 400... you would never imagine that it could feel so good to be down 400, but it does right? Feels like you might as well be up money... because you are making progress.
1) Only bet or parlay games with strange lines like 2, 5, 11, etc. 2) Try talking to women in the grocery store. If they reject you, they won't dwell on it because they are there to buy groceries and your wife will never guess what you are REALLY going to the store for. 3) Combine your meds with beer that has an 8.5% or above ABV. Hopefully your state allows up to 14% ABV. 4) Pleasure yourself in the shower often. No mess and you'll come out clean as a whistle and ready for a nap. 5) When you buy a Big Mac meal, buy a McDouble (double cheeseburger with 1 piece of cheese. No sense in paying an extra 29 cents for a piece of cheese) and take the meat and put on the Big Mac. Now you have a real burger!
Follow the above and you will be on your way to a happier and more productive life.
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Free advice:
1) Only bet or parlay games with strange lines like 2, 5, 11, etc. 2) Try talking to women in the grocery store. If they reject you, they won't dwell on it because they are there to buy groceries and your wife will never guess what you are REALLY going to the store for. 3) Combine your meds with beer that has an 8.5% or above ABV. Hopefully your state allows up to 14% ABV. 4) Pleasure yourself in the shower often. No mess and you'll come out clean as a whistle and ready for a nap. 5) When you buy a Big Mac meal, buy a McDouble (double cheeseburger with 1 piece of cheese. No sense in paying an extra 29 cents for a piece of cheese) and take the meat and put on the Big Mac. Now you have a real burger!
Follow the above and you will be on your way to a happier and more productive life.
Sorry for my absence, been in a bad depression but not severe. Spitfire your post made me cry. I need to take baby steps and then maybe feel better about things. It sounds like a great idea I will try it.
I answer your questions now. I get my prescriptions from doctors. I use to doctor shop but don't do that now. Both doctors know that I'm seeing the other doctor. I don't abuse them anymore, I am just physically dependant on them. I stop or try to reduce, I get sick, and my depression gets to where I can't take it. I get imminent suicidal. Its wierd the drugs cause my depression mainly, but when I reduce them my depression gets worse. Docs told me I would need to get completely off the drugs and then it would be months before my depression goes away if it goes away at all. I have been on hard drugs for 18 years now since I was 15. Docs offer me anti depressants but I refuse them. I hear they are just as bad as any other addictive drug.
I dont party anymore, I get way too depressed in the days after. I destroy the house. My wife bought a new table and 4 chairs and within about a year we had to special order 4 new chairs because i picked them up and broke them on the floor. I have destroyed 2 more and we dont have money to buy anymore so now we only have 2 chairs at the table.
I broke my phone a couple days ago, threw it against the wall. don't have money to buy another one. doesnt matter all i talk to is my wife who i see everyday and once in a blue moon my parents. I use to be one of the most popular people in this town. Drugs and gambling have taken all that away. The drugs actually covered up my shyness so people liked me. When I'm sober people hate me because I dont talk much.
I also broke the remote control. Shattered it. Gambling losses cause this. The main loss was the 17k. Now when I lose 200 or so, I explode. I'm depressed already, have no life, and I'm really just letting go the pint up hatred of myself for going on tilt and losing all my bankroll that I probably won't be able to get back up to.
I made 200 dollars over the past 4 days gambling. Then I think about the fact that just a month or so ago, I had 17 thousand in an offshore account I could have withdrawn and I feel like crap.
But spitfire has given me a new outlook that i will try. I have to do something.
By the way I am a Christian. I don't agree with the people here who say there is not God. God and my kid is all I've got. My wife is there for me but I have never really been in love with her. She was just the only one willing to stick with me through all the years of hell. My parents think I'm a piece of crap but they are nice to me most of the time. Sometimes not.
We have water in the ceiling and no money to fix it. I have tried to caulk the place where the water is coming in but it did not work.
I am my kid's best friend. I spend hours every day playing with my kid. She means everything to me. I can't imagine the day that she figures out what a loser I have been, I hope she remembers all the love and time I have given her over the years.
As the night progresses, we are about to turn the page to the next day. I wonder what might have been if only I had been kept from being high every day as a kid. The sky would have been the limit but its not to be. I'm past my prime, old past my years. There it is, another day gone. Another day of sorrow.
I have a penile infection that wont go away and keeps getting worse. Wife has insurance so I've seen 2 doctors. The first thought it was syphilis so tested me for that. Negative. I don't cheat on my wife anyway, not since we been married. So it's not an STD.
Who on Earth other than me gets a penile infection without getting to have sex to contract the infection.
So he sent me to a dermatologist. The 23 and 24 year old female nurses both looked at my penis. I was really hoping that I would not get excited over it and pop a boner in front of them. Right when I felt it starting to happen, they said I could put it away. It still showed through my jeans as I was walking out. Tried to put my hand in my pocket but penis popped out past that. So had to walk down long hall with all the people seeing my boner. Then out the huge waiting room, big boner. She thought it was a yeast infection. The cream they gave me makes my want to cry it hurts it so bad.
As the moon sneaks behind the clouds and the night becomes dark, I sit in solitude. I vegetate in front of the TV and wonder what may have been. I think of that beautiful girl I once touched gently and rubbed her body down. I weep.
I remember you
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Sorry for my absence, been in a bad depression but not severe. Spitfire your post made me cry. I need to take baby steps and then maybe feel better about things. It sounds like a great idea I will try it.
I answer your questions now. I get my prescriptions from doctors. I use to doctor shop but don't do that now. Both doctors know that I'm seeing the other doctor. I don't abuse them anymore, I am just physically dependant on them. I stop or try to reduce, I get sick, and my depression gets to where I can't take it. I get imminent suicidal. Its wierd the drugs cause my depression mainly, but when I reduce them my depression gets worse. Docs told me I would need to get completely off the drugs and then it would be months before my depression goes away if it goes away at all. I have been on hard drugs for 18 years now since I was 15. Docs offer me anti depressants but I refuse them. I hear they are just as bad as any other addictive drug.
I dont party anymore, I get way too depressed in the days after. I destroy the house. My wife bought a new table and 4 chairs and within about a year we had to special order 4 new chairs because i picked them up and broke them on the floor. I have destroyed 2 more and we dont have money to buy anymore so now we only have 2 chairs at the table.
I broke my phone a couple days ago, threw it against the wall. don't have money to buy another one. doesnt matter all i talk to is my wife who i see everyday and once in a blue moon my parents. I use to be one of the most popular people in this town. Drugs and gambling have taken all that away. The drugs actually covered up my shyness so people liked me. When I'm sober people hate me because I dont talk much.
I also broke the remote control. Shattered it. Gambling losses cause this. The main loss was the 17k. Now when I lose 200 or so, I explode. I'm depressed already, have no life, and I'm really just letting go the pint up hatred of myself for going on tilt and losing all my bankroll that I probably won't be able to get back up to.
I made 200 dollars over the past 4 days gambling. Then I think about the fact that just a month or so ago, I had 17 thousand in an offshore account I could have withdrawn and I feel like crap.
But spitfire has given me a new outlook that i will try. I have to do something.
By the way I am a Christian. I don't agree with the people here who say there is not God. God and my kid is all I've got. My wife is there for me but I have never really been in love with her. She was just the only one willing to stick with me through all the years of hell. My parents think I'm a piece of crap but they are nice to me most of the time. Sometimes not.
We have water in the ceiling and no money to fix it. I have tried to caulk the place where the water is coming in but it did not work.
I am my kid's best friend. I spend hours every day playing with my kid. She means everything to me. I can't imagine the day that she figures out what a loser I have been, I hope she remembers all the love and time I have given her over the years.
As the night progresses, we are about to turn the page to the next day. I wonder what might have been if only I had been kept from being high every day as a kid. The sky would have been the limit but its not to be. I'm past my prime, old past my years. There it is, another day gone. Another day of sorrow.
I have a penile infection that wont go away and keeps getting worse. Wife has insurance so I've seen 2 doctors. The first thought it was syphilis so tested me for that. Negative. I don't cheat on my wife anyway, not since we been married. So it's not an STD.
Who on Earth other than me gets a penile infection without getting to have sex to contract the infection.
So he sent me to a dermatologist. The 23 and 24 year old female nurses both looked at my penis. I was really hoping that I would not get excited over it and pop a boner in front of them. Right when I felt it starting to happen, they said I could put it away. It still showed through my jeans as I was walking out. Tried to put my hand in my pocket but penis popped out past that. So had to walk down long hall with all the people seeing my boner. Then out the huge waiting room, big boner. She thought it was a yeast infection. The cream they gave me makes my want to cry it hurts it so bad.
As the moon sneaks behind the clouds and the night becomes dark, I sit in solitude. I vegetate in front of the TV and wonder what may have been. I think of that beautiful girl I once touched gently and rubbed her body down. I weep.
I am circumsized and have a 7 inch stinger, that is when I am shooting the dirt with a naked woman or in another situation that makes my stinger erect. I call it my stinger because it stings now.
I do not shower often. Maybe once or twice a week on average. Due to my depression. I think this may have led to a penile infection.
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I am circumsized and have a 7 inch stinger, that is when I am shooting the dirt with a naked woman or in another situation that makes my stinger erect. I call it my stinger because it stings now.
I do not shower often. Maybe once or twice a week on average. Due to my depression. I think this may have led to a penile infection.
Guys I do have a confession to make that I could never make to my wife.
When I pulled out my penis for the 2 girls to look at it, I was standing on the little step on the edge of the lounge chair thing that is in every doctors office. I pulled it out and both of girls were pretty but one was beautiful. They sort of bent over to look at it closely and I was holding it in my hand.
2 thoughts came to mind. I wanted to maybe start stroking it to see if maybe it would turn one of them on or try to move it closer to see if maybe one would let me put it in their mouth.
You know how you daydream about stuff like that. I knew it would never come true, especially to me. Maybe if I was somebody worth a dam something like that could possibly happen. Then again I doubt they would want a stinger with white and red infection on the tip in their mouth.
I feel a little embarassed typing this to you guys but I don't have any guys in my life to shoot the dirt with like this so I decided to let it fly. Good night.
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Guys I do have a confession to make that I could never make to my wife.
When I pulled out my penis for the 2 girls to look at it, I was standing on the little step on the edge of the lounge chair thing that is in every doctors office. I pulled it out and both of girls were pretty but one was beautiful. They sort of bent over to look at it closely and I was holding it in my hand.
2 thoughts came to mind. I wanted to maybe start stroking it to see if maybe it would turn one of them on or try to move it closer to see if maybe one would let me put it in their mouth.
You know how you daydream about stuff like that. I knew it would never come true, especially to me. Maybe if I was somebody worth a dam something like that could possibly happen. Then again I doubt they would want a stinger with white and red infection on the tip in their mouth.
I feel a little embarassed typing this to you guys but I don't have any guys in my life to shoot the dirt with like this so I decided to let it fly. Good night.
Proto, do you realize you may not have any friends due to the fact you are a liar?
This was the funniest thing Ive seen today.....
"Guys im depressed, have no money to bet with but want to, I feel worthless and am already thinking about dying Oh and I also have no idea for a business that would make money."
And of course the natural response from degenerate gamblers is.....Cheer up guy, things will get better. Hey I got an idea, lets go into business together Will that make you feel better Proto? Oh whats that?, oh you have no business plan? Thats ok your state of depression is more than enough collateral to give you all of my venture capital. Lets get this ball rolling
Im just shooting the dirt
OMFG!!!!! LOL!!!! that was the best laugh that i've had in days....
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Quote Originally Posted by SALTY:
Proto, do you realize you may not have any friends due to the fact you are a liar?
This was the funniest thing Ive seen today.....
"Guys im depressed, have no money to bet with but want to, I feel worthless and am already thinking about dying Oh and I also have no idea for a business that would make money."
And of course the natural response from degenerate gamblers is.....Cheer up guy, things will get better. Hey I got an idea, lets go into business together Will that make you feel better Proto? Oh whats that?, oh you have no business plan? Thats ok your state of depression is more than enough collateral to give you all of my venture capital. Lets get this ball rolling
Im just shooting the dirt
OMFG!!!!! LOL!!!! that was the best laugh that i've had in days....
Shoot the dirt. I have never heard that before. This thread cracks me up. But dude you said you are married so some girl liked you enough to marry you so you should be happy about that. Now go fuck her in the ass.
OMFG......
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Quote Originally Posted by legwand:
Shoot the dirt. I have never heard that before. This thread cracks me up. But dude you said you are married so some girl liked you enough to marry you so you should be happy about that. Now go fuck her in the ass.
Oh and I also have no idea for a business that would make money."
Will that make you feel better Proto? Oh whats that?, oh you have no business plan? Thats ok your state of depression is more than enough collateral to give you all of my venture capital. Lets get this ball rolling
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