Incarcerated for 62 days!!!

Parole violation.

Sukked into the system and there was nothing I could do about it.  My lawyer eventually got me a shltty deal and I got a 37 day "controlled environment" rehab program.  I've been completely sober for 99 days now.  WOW.

If I ever hear these again it'll be too soon...

"Yo, my nigga"

""Know what I mean?" (Pronounced "no-mean?")

"You feel me?"

"That's craaazy"

This is going to be a fun Thread.  Let's all tell jail stories.  So as a 61 year old cracker head I thought my first bid went fairly well.  As good as possible anyway.  A large inmate account comes in handy on Commissary Day and buys protection in the General Population. 

So how's everybody been for the past three months?

  Did y'all miss me?


 

Good to see you back, GG. 

There was a good thread here in your absence. 

Most importantly, Glad you're in good health !  

The GoldenOne........you were missed..Welcome back.

To the GG 

How was the food ?  

H3LL YA!! The Goose returns  

LOL covers word censoring... Guy head = c-r-a-c-k-e-r head.

Yes, of course the food was disgusting.  Slop & cake every day.  I supplied the ingredients from my weekly commissary purchases and my boys "cooked" for us at night so I got one semi-decent meal a day.  Lost 20 lbs in jail but gained 6 back in the 5 week rehab.

Must say I am in good physical shape with all the jailhouse pushups and situps I've been doing.  Amazing I am not craving Alcohol, Xanax or Ambien.  100 days of sobriety now and I'm feeling really great.  Starting another rehab today.  45 day intensive out patient.

i hear ya, goose. i did three years down in IDOC when i was 21, young and dumb. doesn't get any worse than jambolaya day sitting in seg waiting on a disciplinary transfer. i'm not familiar with your background, but don't get stuck in the system, because they'll suck ya in and try to never let go. haven't had a run in with the law since my stint back in '10

Glad youre FREE BROTHER ....

I got a dui july 2012 when i was "buzzed" at best driving my navy buddy who was in town for just the weekend to get food a possibly look at some honchos after at the strip club next door. Cop was parked across the street and just followed us into the strip club parking lot. I did the field sobriety tests just fine considering the nerves that come with it. Heck, I failed one sober when I lived in arizona and the cop brought me to the station to test my blood when i blew a 0 convinced I was on drugs. That wasn't good enough for the cop nor was throwing my keys on the roof if I blow right around the legal limit. I was not drunk but was always advised not to blow by lawyers. So, when this a hole cop started bragging about dishing out 2nd most duis in new york last year i politely declined the breathalyzer when I knew he had no heart or soul. Guy looked like and acted like Percy from the Green Mile. The other cops that showed up to the scene apologized to me on the side and told me sorry this guys a real piece of crud no one in the department likes him. Long story short, I got screwed during this process.

This should have been behind me 5 years ago after doing a year sober in an outpatient program but things got complicated. I had a very good lawyer and he got me the deal we had been looking for all along. Lane violation and no misdemeanor as long as I completed probation and 60 hrs community service. I pissed clean for 6 months no issues at all but the community service is what threw a wrench into the equation. It only took my parole officer 4 months to tell the community service people I wasn't a violent criminal/ sex offender so they could finally set up my community service location. They placed me in a thrift shop with terrible hours conducive to work schedule and life in general. They worked 4 days during the week 10-3 and on saturdays 10-2. They didn;t have any night time options or longer weekend hrs. I got like 40 hrs done taking a few days off from work here and there in the process and then realized I wouldn't complete my full hours in time unless i took off like a full week and a half of work right before and threw in the towel. I was led to believe this wasn;t the end of the world as I had been placed so late and the hours were right during my work hours. WRONG. 

 

Showed up to the courthouse for the 20th time since the event occurred thinking it would be adjourned a 21st time to allow me to complete my community service hrs. NOPE. The judge was in a really bad mood and decided to make an example of the affluent white guy with the big time lawyer. I told him to offer them 200 hours more of community service and 3 years probation (i could care less about pissing once a month). Judge wasn't in a Howie Mendel deal making mood that day and said best offer I take the misdemeanor and walk out the door that day with one year conditonal license with interlock etc and bunch of fines. To my lawyer and the judges surprise I refused to take this offer and inquired about going to jail instead. This was a nervous time for me as my lawyer made it clear once I green light this option there was no turning back. He could throw the book at me and give me 30 days in jail and haul me away immediately without anytime to make work and other arrangements. I had come too far. Keeping my nose clean for nearly 6 years, paid a small fortune,  and sober for a lot of that time just to end up with the punishment I would have gotten without a lawyer and 6 years prior. Luckily, the Judge was a little blindsided that I requested Jail and sentenced me 15 days max but allowed me to turn myself in a month later so I could make the necessary arrangements. Basically, telling all my friends/family/clients I was going to be out of the country but to text/email me if they needed anything and gave my brother my cell phone to keep up the charade. 

I consider myself a mentally tough guy and thought I made the right decision. I was told I'd be able to bring in 5 books and stay on my sleep meds. Figured I'd be reading a ton of long books I had been wanting to read and sleep like a baby. It was also common knowledge that if you got 15 days you would likely serve half of that which seemed like a piece of cake. Wrong. I was put in isolation for 5 days which felt like 30 and was borderline torture. Lights on full blast all day and night. No books or sleep meds. Just me trying to sleep in the freezing little cell with my baby sized cu.m crusted blanket where my only human interaction was the hand of another prisoner plopping my slop thru my hole 3 times a day. I would fall asleep thinking it was the next day only to realize 2 hours had passed. I was so relieved when they placed me in gen pop (for the non violent offenders and people out in under a year). Most of the guys were in there for dealing weed or something stupid and obviously didn't have the financial means or support to get a decent lawyer. I kept to myself and just watched tv not wanting to let anyone know I was getting out in a few days. After watching about 50 friends episodes on some tbs marathons (oddly enough the black guys loved this show and controlled the remote) and also oddly enough I somehow had missed this show growing up thinking it was for girly men. To my surprise, it was a great show and I enjoyed binging it with the homies. Once in gen pop, time flew by and I even met some good guys i politely gave my fake number too. Didn't come to make friends sorry. It was a good lesson. I'll never put myself in a situation in any form to be sent back to jail. When in doubt uber.....

 

sorry for the long read. don't drive even buzzed guys. it will cost you a lot of time and money if you are lucky enough not to kill someone. Your life could be ruined in an instant even if the accident wasn't your fault. Think about that. 

Please tell your parole violation was beating the snot out of I_Need_A_Detox

The Goose alive and well  ...

Welcome Back

Well take off that wig and welcome back bro.

"wanna play sum dominoz?"

"len me sum monay fer sum honeeeey bonz"

 

A good read Messier thanks for taking the time. Most everybody in County Jail is there for stupid reasons.  Silly parole violations or low level drug dealers.  A lot are addicts that need rehabilitation programs but I guess it's cheaper to just keep locking them up every time they explode. 

I was smart enough to manipulate this broken system and got moved to what's called a "working Dorm".  Kitchen and Laundry workers mostly who are gone several hours a day so I could actually get some sleep.  The rest of us were older guys over age 60 and guys with health issues.

I have never laughed so hard, some of the sh!t was just hilarious.  But there were heartbreaking stories that brought me to tears. It's been quite an eye-opening experience.  A wild trip.

Honey Buns LOL.  The choice of jail degenerates everywhere.  You buy as many as you can on Commissary Monday because by Saturday half the population will trade double value for them.  The jail bartering system is quite ingenious BTW for anybody who's never been inside I'll enlighten you.

Ramen Noodle Soups sell for 32 cents so a dollar is three soups.  It forms the basis for the the inmate bartering system.  Want a haircut?  Two soups. A beard edging too?  That's another soup.

Me? I kept my hair and goatee long.  Wanted to leave just enough doubt in everybody's mind that I was crazy enough to be left alone.  It worked.

 Some eye-opening stuff here guys........thanks for sharing. It makes me wonder how people that try to do things "right" end up getting screwed, while we read about habitual criminals that have been arrested 10+ times end up on the street committing more crimes.

Nothing funny at all about being in jail...at all. 

Well, look who's back

Welcome back goose.  Glad to see everything is OK.

How many lives did you change this time?