Yes I did change lives in jail. Many good stories to relate. The Blacks warmed up to me because I got game in Chess. More importantly I was willing to pass on this wisdom. Everybody who played Chess in jail knew the basic opening attacks but nobody knew the different defences. Also taught inmates the basics of stock market investing. How to open up an etrade account, ticker symbols, buying dips, and shocked them to learn they got a debit card to spend their profits immediately. Transforming drug dealers into entrepreneurs. That's what I do B.
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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Thanks all for the kind words. Much appreciated.
Yes I did change lives in jail. Many good stories to relate. The Blacks warmed up to me because I got game in Chess. More importantly I was willing to pass on this wisdom. Everybody who played Chess in jail knew the basic opening attacks but nobody knew the different defences. Also taught inmates the basics of stock market investing. How to open up an etrade account, ticker symbols, buying dips, and shocked them to learn they got a debit card to spend their profits immediately. Transforming drug dealers into entrepreneurs. That's what I do B.
Parole violation. Sukked into the system and there was nothing I could do about it. My lawyer eventually got me a shltty deal and I got a 37 day "controlled environment" rehab program. I've been completely sober for 99 days now. WOW.If I ever hear these again it'll be too soon..."Yo, my nigga"""Know what I mean?" (Pronounced "no-mean?")"You feel me?""That's craaazy"This is going to be a fun Thread. Let's all tell jail stories. So as a 61 year old cracker head I thought my first bid went fairly well. As good as possible anyway. A large inmate account comes in handy on Commissary Day and buys protection in the General Population. So how's everybody been for the past three months? Did y'all miss me?
Some years back I went through a phase where I said "You feel me?" after almost every sentence. It became like a nervous tick.
Welcome back, GG. We were worried about you.
TIME TO BRING BACK THE OBAMA CAGES!
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Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:
Parole violation. Sukked into the system and there was nothing I could do about it. My lawyer eventually got me a shltty deal and I got a 37 day "controlled environment" rehab program. I've been completely sober for 99 days now. WOW.If I ever hear these again it'll be too soon..."Yo, my nigga"""Know what I mean?" (Pronounced "no-mean?")"You feel me?""That's craaazy"This is going to be a fun Thread. Let's all tell jail stories. So as a 61 year old cracker head I thought my first bid went fairly well. As good as possible anyway. A large inmate account comes in handy on Commissary Day and buys protection in the General Population. So how's everybody been for the past three months? Did y'all miss me?
Some years back I went through a phase where I said "You feel me?" after almost every sentence. It became like a nervous tick.
I went back into a bar I was banned from. Guy owed me $200 but was spending money like a drunkin sailor. It got a little ugly. Should have just walked.
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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I went back into a bar I was banned from. Guy owed me $200 but was spending money like a drunkin sailor. It got a little ugly. Should have just walked.
Here are a few tips I learned based on my short vacay and from talking with a lot of inmates etc before i turned myself in and after.
1. Dont Gamble! Dont owe anyone anything! I saw two fights and both started over guys playing cards betting commissary items.
2. Considering most of us on this forum are degens and will likely ignore the above advice, I would recommend learning how to play Spades beforehand. That seemed to be the only card game people played. Also, if you decide to play spades make sure you can trust your partner so you arent just getting hustled by 3 guys.
3. Coffee mix was the luxury item that people were making all kinds of deals for the slow days before the next commissary order arrived. Even in jail, guys apparently need their caffeine fix to sit around and do nothing all day. Stash those and trade them later in the week.
4. Kinda obvious but don't be a di.ck and mind your own business. Offer your leftover food to anyone still hungry for more slop. Share a little of your commissary with those not fortunate enough to have access to any money and don't ask for anything in return. Good Karma. Also, make sure you set up the weird collect call program beforehand and don't hog the phones. Be aware of your surroundings. Whenever you take a dump make sure you give atleast one courtesy flush so you don't stink up the place too bad.
PS It's always fun to watch a locked up show on youtube based on the shiat hole jail you are heading to in a week....NOT.
PPS.....that stupid show orange is the new black is filmed here and the conditions are horrible. I'd think twice about drinking their water if I was on a desert island dehydrated.
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Here are a few tips I learned based on my short vacay and from talking with a lot of inmates etc before i turned myself in and after.
1. Dont Gamble! Dont owe anyone anything! I saw two fights and both started over guys playing cards betting commissary items.
2. Considering most of us on this forum are degens and will likely ignore the above advice, I would recommend learning how to play Spades beforehand. That seemed to be the only card game people played. Also, if you decide to play spades make sure you can trust your partner so you arent just getting hustled by 3 guys.
3. Coffee mix was the luxury item that people were making all kinds of deals for the slow days before the next commissary order arrived. Even in jail, guys apparently need their caffeine fix to sit around and do nothing all day. Stash those and trade them later in the week.
4. Kinda obvious but don't be a di.ck and mind your own business. Offer your leftover food to anyone still hungry for more slop. Share a little of your commissary with those not fortunate enough to have access to any money and don't ask for anything in return. Good Karma. Also, make sure you set up the weird collect call program beforehand and don't hog the phones. Be aware of your surroundings. Whenever you take a dump make sure you give atleast one courtesy flush so you don't stink up the place too bad.
PS It's always fun to watch a locked up show on youtube based on the shiat hole jail you are heading to in a week....NOT.
PPS.....that stupid show orange is the new black is filmed here and the conditions are horrible. I'd think twice about drinking their water if I was on a desert island dehydrated.
Spades was a good partner card game to play. Same game with four players but on your own was called cut-throat. Hey, anything to pass the time. My first week I stayed to myself as much as possible and read. Four paperbacks, about 1500 pages, without reading glasses.
Other entertainment was playing the daily baseball games. One inmate was running a nightly pool ticket. Similar to the old school weekly football card tickets. You picked just the winner of every game on the board. Tie breaker was the combined totals of the NYY BOS NYM games. Cost one soup to play. You get 15 guys playing and could win back 14 soups (one paid to the pool guy). Not big money but was a fun way to pass the time.
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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Spades was a good partner card game to play. Same game with four players but on your own was called cut-throat. Hey, anything to pass the time. My first week I stayed to myself as much as possible and read. Four paperbacks, about 1500 pages, without reading glasses.
Other entertainment was playing the daily baseball games. One inmate was running a nightly pool ticket. Similar to the old school weekly football card tickets. You picked just the winner of every game on the board. Tie breaker was the combined totals of the NYY BOS NYM games. Cost one soup to play. You get 15 guys playing and could win back 14 soups (one paid to the pool guy). Not big money but was a fun way to pass the time.
Yeah, for some reason inmates love caffeine. Guys used to buy coffee, creamer, sugar through Commissary and then make up individual "coffee balls" for sale. I guess they made a small profit. Too much like work for me.
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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Yeah, for some reason inmates love caffeine. Guys used to buy coffee, creamer, sugar through Commissary and then make up individual "coffee balls" for sale. I guess they made a small profit. Too much like work for me.
Glad you made it out OK. Jail sucks. I recently did a 4-day stint in a jail here in the Philippines which is a drop in the bucket compared to your stay. However, things are a little different here and it made the stay feel much longer. No commissary and they don't even feed you. Inmates rely on their friends and families to stop by with food and water during visiting hours. I was stuck in a cell with 4 other guys for two days. Those 4 dudes all got busted for gambling (haha) and had already been in there for a week. Then there were 6 guys for the last two days...pretty cramped. There are no beds, just a concrete floor with fresh cardboard boxes laid out every day. I used an empty plastic 2-liter Coke bottle as a pillow which really sucked. Luckily, the guys I was sharing the cell with kept the place clean and their families and friends brought in loads of food three times each day. You're not even allowed to bring a book in to read and there is definitely no TV. It was just a repeating cycle of eating, smoking a couple cigarettes, and then napping. The only perk was that the guard who was on duty for the first three days turned a blind eye to smoking cigarettes. I made though and I'm glad you did the same.
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Glad you made it out OK. Jail sucks. I recently did a 4-day stint in a jail here in the Philippines which is a drop in the bucket compared to your stay. However, things are a little different here and it made the stay feel much longer. No commissary and they don't even feed you. Inmates rely on their friends and families to stop by with food and water during visiting hours. I was stuck in a cell with 4 other guys for two days. Those 4 dudes all got busted for gambling (haha) and had already been in there for a week. Then there were 6 guys for the last two days...pretty cramped. There are no beds, just a concrete floor with fresh cardboard boxes laid out every day. I used an empty plastic 2-liter Coke bottle as a pillow which really sucked. Luckily, the guys I was sharing the cell with kept the place clean and their families and friends brought in loads of food three times each day. You're not even allowed to bring a book in to read and there is definitely no TV. It was just a repeating cycle of eating, smoking a couple cigarettes, and then napping. The only perk was that the guard who was on duty for the first three days turned a blind eye to smoking cigarettes. I made though and I'm glad you did the same.
Glad you made it out OK. Jail sucks. I recently did a 4-day stint in a jail here in the Philippines which is a drop in the bucket compared to your stay. However, things are a little different here and it made the stay feel much longer. No commissary and they don't even feed you. Inmates rely on their friends and families to stop by with food and water during visiting hours. I was stuck in a cell with 4 other guys for two days. Those 4 dudes all got busted for gambling (haha) and had already been in there for a week. Then there were 6 guys for the last two days...pretty cramped. There are no beds, just a concrete floor with fresh cardboard boxes laid out every day. I used an empty plastic 2-liter Coke bottle as a pillow which really sucked. Luckily, the guys I was sharing the cell with kept the place clean and their families and friends brought in loads of food three times each day. You're not even allowed to bring a book in to read and there is definitely no TV. It was just a repeating cycle of eating, smoking a couple cigarettes, and then napping. The only perk was that the guard who was on duty for the first three days turned a blind eye to smoking cigarettes. I made though and I'm glad you did the same.
That's very cool for the guys to share what they were given. Are you from the Philippines yourself or a traveler?
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Quote Originally Posted by konabuzz:
Glad you made it out OK. Jail sucks. I recently did a 4-day stint in a jail here in the Philippines which is a drop in the bucket compared to your stay. However, things are a little different here and it made the stay feel much longer. No commissary and they don't even feed you. Inmates rely on their friends and families to stop by with food and water during visiting hours. I was stuck in a cell with 4 other guys for two days. Those 4 dudes all got busted for gambling (haha) and had already been in there for a week. Then there were 6 guys for the last two days...pretty cramped. There are no beds, just a concrete floor with fresh cardboard boxes laid out every day. I used an empty plastic 2-liter Coke bottle as a pillow which really sucked. Luckily, the guys I was sharing the cell with kept the place clean and their families and friends brought in loads of food three times each day. You're not even allowed to bring a book in to read and there is definitely no TV. It was just a repeating cycle of eating, smoking a couple cigarettes, and then napping. The only perk was that the guard who was on duty for the first three days turned a blind eye to smoking cigarettes. I made though and I'm glad you did the same.
That's very cool for the guys to share what they were given. Are you from the Philippines yourself or a traveler?
Oh, and by the way Goose, we're all happy you're back. But at your age you need to become a peacemaker and not a troublemaker. There just comes a time to show some maturity and restraint and have others follow your lead.
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Oh, and by the way Goose, we're all happy you're back. But at your age you need to become a peacemaker and not a troublemaker. There just comes a time to show some maturity and restraint and have others follow your lead.
I remember how you sucker punch a guy.Cop arrested you & grap you by balls.You said you get his job & sue city.How that turn out for you.Now your crying you had to go back to jail. Grow up old man.How much this cost you $$. You have anger issues. Nobody feels sorry for Drunk jackasss
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I remember how you sucker punch a guy.Cop arrested you & grap you by balls.You said you get his job & sue city.How that turn out for you.Now your crying you had to go back to jail. Grow up old man.How much this cost you $$. You have anger issues. Nobody feels sorry for Drunk jackasss
That's very cool for the guys to share what they were given. Are you from the Philippines yourself or a traveler?
Yes, it was very cool of the guys to share. To show my appreciation, I had them all come to my place with their families and some of their friends for a pig roast and party the following week. I moved here from Canada three years ago after visiting a couple of times and, except for those 4 days, life's been pretty good here.
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Quote Originally Posted by Getty3:
That's very cool for the guys to share what they were given. Are you from the Philippines yourself or a traveler?
Yes, it was very cool of the guys to share. To show my appreciation, I had them all come to my place with their families and some of their friends for a pig roast and party the following week. I moved here from Canada three years ago after visiting a couple of times and, except for those 4 days, life's been pretty good here.
I remember how you sucker punch a guy.Cop arrested you & grap you by balls.You said you get his job & sue city.How that turn out for you.Now your crying you had to go back to jail. Grow up old man.How much this cost you $$. You have anger issues. Nobody feels sorry for Drunk jackasss
That's kinda nasty dude
Goose has been here much longer than your a$$ show some respect
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Quote Originally Posted by Rangers27:
I remember how you sucker punch a guy.Cop arrested you & grap you by balls.You said you get his job & sue city.How that turn out for you.Now your crying you had to go back to jail. Grow up old man.How much this cost you $$. You have anger issues. Nobody feels sorry for Drunk jackasss
That's kinda nasty dude
Goose has been here much longer than your a$$ show some respect
HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.WAS IT WORTH JAIL TIME OVET $200. YOU GOT TO BE VERYYY STUPID TO GO BACK TO PLACE YOU WERE 86 OVER THE 1ST TIME .YOU HAVE NICE RECORD NOW.QUIT GOING TO BARS & GO DRINKING.NEVER GET IN FIGHT AGAIN .YOU MIGHT KILL A GUY OR BE KILLED OR BE HURT.NEXT FIGHT THEY WILL THROW AWAY THE KEY.RIGHT OR WRONG. JUST GIVING YOU SOUND ADVICE
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HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.WAS IT WORTH JAIL TIME OVET $200. YOU GOT TO BE VERYYY STUPID TO GO BACK TO PLACE YOU WERE 86 OVER THE 1ST TIME .YOU HAVE NICE RECORD NOW.QUIT GOING TO BARS & GO DRINKING.NEVER GET IN FIGHT AGAIN .YOU MIGHT KILL A GUY OR BE KILLED OR BE HURT.NEXT FIGHT THEY WILL THROW AWAY THE KEY.RIGHT OR WRONG. JUST GIVING YOU SOUND ADVICE
HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.WAS IT WORTH JAIL TIME OVET $200. YOU GOT TO BE VERYYY STUPID TO GO BACK TO PLACE YOU WERE 86 OVER THE 1ST TIME .YOU HAVE NICE RECORD NOW.QUIT GOING TO BARS & GO DRINKING.NEVER GET IN FIGHT AGAIN .YOU MIGHT KILL A GUY OR BE KILLED OR BE HURT.NEXT FIGHT THEY WILL THROW AWAY THE KEY.RIGHT OR WRONG. JUST GIVING YOU SOUND ADVICE
no sound advise ever came from an ALL CAPSLOCK POST
Victory Belongs to the Most Tenacious
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Quote Originally Posted by Rangers27:
HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.WAS IT WORTH JAIL TIME OVET $200. YOU GOT TO BE VERYYY STUPID TO GO BACK TO PLACE YOU WERE 86 OVER THE 1ST TIME .YOU HAVE NICE RECORD NOW.QUIT GOING TO BARS & GO DRINKING.NEVER GET IN FIGHT AGAIN .YOU MIGHT KILL A GUY OR BE KILLED OR BE HURT.NEXT FIGHT THEY WILL THROW AWAY THE KEY.RIGHT OR WRONG. JUST GIVING YOU SOUND ADVICE
no sound advise ever came from an ALL CAPSLOCK POST
GEEEZ. Remind me never to never step outta line in the Philippines. USA biggest incarceration operation on Planet Earth (by far) but county jail time is very doable.
I'm looking at doing one year if I fukk up again.
Not going to happen. 104 days of sobriety now.
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
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SAF's
GEEEZ. Remind me never to never step outta line in the Philippines. USA biggest incarceration operation on Planet Earth (by far) but county jail time is very doable.
i got some advice for ya when you screw up & do prison time buddy ..... when u r in the shower & lets say u accidently drop the soap ....DO NOT , i repeat DO NOT bend over & pick it up ,lol
WOW! that's so original, like no ones ever heard that before
once again gracing us with your juvenile humor
Gotta go pee!
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Quote Originally Posted by bettorbob:
i got some advice for ya when you screw up & do prison time buddy ..... when u r in the shower & lets say u accidently drop the soap ....DO NOT , i repeat DO NOT bend over & pick it up ,lol
WOW! that's so original, like no ones ever heard that before
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Some years back I went through a phase where I said "You feel me?" after almost every sentence. It became like a nervous tick.
SAF's
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