My First Interaction With A Transgender Person

Today the boss & I stopped by a neighborhood ice cream joint to get some for the games tonight. They have a bunch of different ice cream & we tried a couple different spoonful's before deciding what we wanted. 

I was surprised how long it was taking to fill 2 pints of ice cream & came over to the counter to see what was going on. As I watched the worker, they were having a real hard time scooping out the ice cream from the container below the counter. I said "Boy, your back must kill you at then end of your shift" and they looked up & said "Actually, my feet feel worse." 

I wasn't sure. I thought "is this a dude or a chick? " and I looked at my wife & she gave the the "Don't say a thing look." But I was transfixed & had to figure out  sex of this person. They had a blonde ponytail, spoke softly almost in a timid way, small looking hands that looked dainty/soft, the voice wasn't a giveaway & then when they turned away to package our ice cream, I saw it.

I saw her bra strap coming through the back of her shirt. We paid the bill & went to the car. I started to ask my wife and she said "yes, they are transgender." I said "Fuck, wow!" 

My wife had visited the place after seeing the movie "Holdovers" with a girlfriend. Her girlfriend has a way of asking questions without being intrusive & learned her name was Brenda & had been named Brandon before the transition. She has been working there for about 2 months & got the job through her church connection.

Now, we live in a very conservative part of South Florida where residents loyally fly their Trump flags & litter their cards with his bumper stickers. So I give props to Brenda & to the owner of the ice cream store who had the guts to hire Brenda & to Brenda for working in a community that isn't very accepting of others. I will continue to frequent this store & support those in transition.

interesting. commend you for your candor. i'm in another part of the country where this stuff is just part of everyday life. not making fun of you or your post, just feel like why? this is normal for others in other parts of the country

@dcbets4lf

 Why? Because I described the community in which I live. 

Now, I can take a drive down to Wilton Manors in Lauderdale or Miami & I would see what you see everyday.

It's so unique I believe the owner & Brenda basically said to our town "we're here & we're not going anywhere."

It's rare to see courage in people & today that's what I saw.

Problems and work . That’s life . I’m glad that you have an open mind . More people should be like you . I applaud courage as well , and I use it to speak out against things even though it goes “ against the grain “ . I catch a lot of heat for that , but without risk there is no reward . It’s encouraging that you and I are on the same page in that regards , because most of the time it takes people like us , with our actions and beliefs setting the example , to make those changes that are so desperately needed in today’s society . You are a stand up man brother . One . 

@Midnight1

 transgender awareness week passed last month but it's not too late to show your support. follow the link and research events to be involved. 

 https://glaad.org/transweek/

@maxwagers781

 Thanks for the link but nah, I'm not looking to be a crusader. I have my hands full supporting other causes. I shared the experience because I found it an excellent example of accepting others rather than looking to blow their heads off. 

Well said midnight 

I couldn’t agree more .

I visited the ice cream place today to get some for my grandchildren for this weekend. The owner was working, so I asked about Brenda & learned she had quit to work at an Amazon Fulfillment center for better wages & no weekend/nights work.

The owner shared that Brenda just wasn't ready for customer interaction during her transition. At first I felt bad but then realized "Hell, she's making more money & no more weekend/night hours." 

It's tough out there!

I remember my first interaction with s transgender person.

Gender affirming healthcare is considered safe, effective and medically necessary by American medical association and American academy of pediatrics.  Yet, some states restrict access for minors suffering from gender dysphoria.  Including criminal penalties against doctors and parents who help minors.  Sad that governments believe they know what is better for youth than parents and doctors.  Fortunately, some governors have vetoed bills banning gender affirming care.

This issue isn't so cut and dry and you're opening up a can of worms by even bringing it up.

Not a negative comment, I am 57, and have worked as a repair man for the past 40 years. Had a job at a Starbucks and out of natural respect addressed the manager as sir, he had a beard but was wearing a skirt with leggings , they got very  angry and yelled that they are a she. completed my work there and asked to be signed out by this person on my tablet, they  refused, and later in day my secretary informed me that a complaint had been filed through Starbucks Corporate. Owner of my company was not mad, understood situation and just advised not to address anyone as Ma’am or Sir again , never heard again about the complaint, but always have to omit gender terms 

A disinformation campaign is behind discriminatory laws that paint gender affirming healthcare as child abuse.  In the US, all major medical associations support gender affirming care.  Truth is that access to healthcare improves mental health and lack of access increases risk of suicide.  No treatment is provided to prepubescent children.  Treatments can be years long.  They begin only after extensive counseling, assessments and informed consents of patients, parents and doctors.

@Cowbeagle

 That is one hell of a story. Did your company make it clear as to how you should address people in the future? Miss & sir are no longer acceptable? WTF?

How is that your fault not knowing their sex? It's no longer relatively easy to do so.

I doubt that it was the first time she's been called "sir."

Props to you to your boss for handling it properly & not succumb to a big account like Starbucks. 

Can a Covers member active in the LGBTQ community share their views on the incident?

@Midnight1

Thanks for the understanding words, The sex was definitely male, but identified as a female and it was impossible to know that. After 40 years working, it’s hard to not to be old-school and have respect by addressing as sir or Ma’am, which requested that’s what I must do. Basically, we have to alter our way of addressing people as not to hurt that community. I would have no problem, addressing a person by their first name . Yes, agree, would love to hear a member of the LGBT communities opinion on a situation like this

@Cowbeagle

 In the same vein, during the holidays we met with a couple & their kids. I made the mistake of congratulating their daughter on her pregnancy,

One small problem, she wasn't pregnant. 

My wife gave me a look that was a kill shot.

Bruh.

@StumpTownStu

 I know I know but she had that "glow" & when I hugged her hello, her belly was as hard as a rock.

Not wise not wise...

If she was preggers, wifey probably would've given you the heads up in advance. If no heads up given, proceed to asking said wife under your breath. It's literally in the handbook.

At the end of the day it really comes down to the Golden Rule. Treat others as you'd want them to treat you. That's the way I have interacted with those in the transgender community and your conscience tells you to treat them with respect. Or at least it should.

@Mark_The_Narc

 Definitely agree, however, much like several posts here, had the unfortunate incident of also “ misgendering” unknowingly, and the person got very offended. Honestly think some young ones are doing this just “ because “

I don't care whyband whatever is the reason.the lbgtq+ people are the best i hv worked with since being in canada and usa for 30 years.they r more patient,calmer and rational,no matter the pressure. I hv been waiting for an opportunity to say this from my detsiled observations. I hv encountered a lot of hostility from many other groups but none from the lgbtq+.

We need them in our community to remind us to keep our actions in check.everyone is inclusive.

Wow this is like a minefield of a topic.  So my question is why in these states that pass legislation on the minors suffering from gender dysphoria restrict boys the same age when it comes to playing school football.  Parents have to sign waivers for sports playing but on the flip side parents have no say over their kids( a minor) over castration which is irreversible.  I think a major point that's not being talked about with this trans movement is who is profiting, this is big $$ for pharma who supplies non FDA approved drugs like puberty blockers and such, also the surgeons that specialize in this.  Ten years ago, before they/them the phrase was cross dresser or transvestite.  Chick with a ....

Could there be a disconnect in the mind that tells the boy they are a girl in some cases, absolutely.  But there's like 700 thousand registered trans in the last 10 years, that number is staggering if you look at the $$ side of it and consider the media push as well

just my opinion