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What's the Best Advice You've Ever Received?

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Posted: #26
“Avoid the Clap” -Jimmy Dugan
 
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Posted: #27
Know your worth.
TIME TO BRING BACK THE OBAMA CAGES!
 
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Posted: #28
If you think the grass is greener on the other side, there's probably more manure there.

With regard to the opposite sex, if you look hungry you'll starve.
 
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Posted: #29
Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.
 
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Posted: #30
Go this one from my 98 yr old Aunt Flo.....

"If you were to put all your problems in a paper bag, went to the top of a hill where others were standing with their bag of problems on the ground in front of them & a swift wind came blowing all the bags around, you would run so damn fast to pick up your bag of problems & not someone else's."
 
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Posted: #31

Quote Originally Posted by Midnight1:

Go this one from my 98 yr old Aunt Flo....."If you were to put all your problems in a paper bag, went to the top of a hill where others were standing with their bag of problems on the ground in front of them & a swift wind came blowing all the bags around, you would run so damn fast to pick up your bag of problems & not someone else's."

 

That's a good one.

 
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Posted: #32
"When it comes to any form of gambling, expect to lose, but play to win."
 
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Posted: #33
Quote Originally Posted by wizardofroz:

"When it comes to any form of gambling, expect to lose, but play to win."

Or replace "expect", with "be prepared".
 
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Posted: #34
"If you are going to do something, do it right."  

Basically, don't waste your energy, if you are not going to put it to good use.
 
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Posted: #35
If you have a bad cough, take laxatives.... Then you'll be afraid to cough 


Love is like a fart...If you have to force it... it's probably sh*t   

 
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Posted: #36
Ihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHo88cj3eAc
 
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Posted: #37

From The Bible : "Those without sin may throw the first stone upon this sinner."

From Warren Buffet : "Financial gain is usually accomplished over time by going against the grain. When people are scared...buy. When they're excited... sell."

From Jimmy Buffet : "It takes no more time to see the good side of life than the bad."

 
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Posted: #38

Take care of yourself and more importantly, take care of somebody else. George Carlin told me that many years ago. 

 
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Posted: #39
"Don't underestimate the value of a race over the track"
 
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Posted: #40
Quote Originally Posted by IntenseOperator:

Measure twice

Cut once


Paper cutters at printing co's live by that...
 
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Posted: #41
Quote Originally Posted by Killer_B:



Measure twice

Cut once


Paper cutters at printing co's live by that...



So do Carpenters
~~~~~ZOSO~~~~~
 
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Posted: #42

Wow, Some really awful lines of whatever in this thread. 

 

 

 
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Posted: #43
Forgot about this one but remembered it when my nephew called bitching about his boss.

A long time ago I learned that if I could find out (usually from my boss's assistant who u should never forget on their birthday) what task my boss absolutely hated to do & I had the authority/skill set to assume that task, I would do it for him/her.

When it came time for them to perform the hated task, they were relieved to know someone else did it for them without being asked to do so & they no longer had that burden. Most decent bosses will take note of that & in most cases it will help your relationship with them.   
 
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Posted: #44
Just do it 
 
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Posted: #45
A great lawyer once told me:

"always admit what you cannot deny, and always deny what you cannot admit." 

An old pimp once told me:

"many men have lost all their money because they were chasing women, but no man has ever lost his women because he was chasing money." 


 
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Posted: #46

Quote Originally Posted by DruDowns:

A great lawyer once told me:"always admit what you cannot deny, and always deny what you cannot admit." An old pimp once told me:"many men have lost all their money because they were chasing women, but no man has ever lost his women because he was chasing money."

 
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Posted: #47

Success is the best revenge

 
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Posted: #48

In a land where we LOVE to make excuses as to why we CAN'T do something....even labeling many excuses as diseases WTF.....

  * maybe try this....

 

IF you think a given task is just too tough....NO WAY CAN I DO IT..... .somewhere / somebody exists....that COULD have done it

 

Think about it....how incredibly easy we just say "fukit"......and give up 

  * just NO WAY I can lose those 15-20 lbs.......really.....no way huh?

 

I would say a high majority here...think it's impossible to win money betting on sports in the long term...." the books always win !.......when they have NEVER put in the time / effort...maybe once or twice a few extra hours or so > only to immediately conclude damm that wasn't worth it .....an_brick

 

Near my door I have a picture of Lee Hee-Ah (the 4 fingered pianist) 

  * AX yourself....where would YOU be?.....if born significantly 'mentally challenged'....'flippers' for arms...no legs beneath the knee....2 functioning fingers on each hand + many more serious issues thrown in for good measure

 

Me?....drinking beer / eating nachos....watching Andy Griffith / Gunsmoke / Rockford Files

 re-runs.....until the forklift comes to lift my 600 lb corpse outta my bedroom............an_getaway

 

She tours the world as a concert pianist...probably not gonna win the Cliburn anytime soon...but people pay to hear her play (she more than pays her own bills / supports her mother)...........since standing up / walking / breathing is difficult ....it took her FIVE years to play a single piece by Chopin.....and TEN YEARS to play Rachmaninoff  .............an_worship

The impediment to action advances action - what stands in the way becomes the way.
 
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Posted: #49
Revenge is a dish best served cold : Kahn






 
 
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Posted: #50

A fool and his money are soon parted. 

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