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#1
In Vegas or online, you know you're right. You have applied every amateur sports handicapping rule around...or maybe you even paid for the pick...and you feel like the wagers are strong and true. The second coming of Christ is more probable than losing these bets.
And then you lose the bets.
At first a lot of psychological pain is dispelled by the physical exertion of the arms and wrist in a common male ritual known as When I Get Pissed I Like To Throw S**t.
But then you become aware that, even though pro-sports culture emphasizes team, one single, solitary "professional" is responsible for the failed bets.
And then you begin screaming that loser's name at the top of your lungs as you continue to throw items. Luckily the cat is fleet enough to dodge a remote control. The kids know you are crazy anyway.
It never brings the money back, but damn does it feel good.
Saturday, July 12
I believe the line opened between -170 or -180, and then "shazaam" it blimped beyond -200, so I felt coerced to take the Chicago Cubs run line. I also added the under to a two team parlay. I believe the under was 9.5 at the time.
Everything was cool until...the late game first pitch by reliever Carlos Marmol. (Yes, the very same Carlos Marmol starting in place of Kerry Wood at tomorrow's All-Star Game.) The "All-Star" was eventually responsible for a rare Giants comeback that tied the game. The Cubs won the game in extra innings, but I lost on the Cubs point spread and the under as well.
Thankfully there is a flip side to this sort of outcome, a yang to the yin, a glass half full. Because sometimes we win bets we have no business winning. Sometimes a professional athlete actually performs like he or she is getting paid millions...and thusly pads your bankroll.
That said, it will take both hell freezing over and a Madonna/Richard Simmons wedding before I lay money down on the National League to win the 2008 All Star Game.
What was the National League thinking? If the goal is to make the most clownish bullpen decision possible, then why not suit up comedian Carlos Mencia instead of Carlos Marmol. At least when Mencia blows the game in the 9th inning, he can make up for it later with an impromptu comedy set in the locker room.
And then you lose the bets.
At first a lot of psychological pain is dispelled by the physical exertion of the arms and wrist in a common male ritual known as When I Get Pissed I Like To Throw S**t.
But then you become aware that, even though pro-sports culture emphasizes team, one single, solitary "professional" is responsible for the failed bets.
And then you begin screaming that loser's name at the top of your lungs as you continue to throw items. Luckily the cat is fleet enough to dodge a remote control. The kids know you are crazy anyway.
It never brings the money back, but damn does it feel good.
Saturday, July 12
I believe the line opened between -170 or -180, and then "shazaam" it blimped beyond -200, so I felt coerced to take the Chicago Cubs run line. I also added the under to a two team parlay. I believe the under was 9.5 at the time.
Everything was cool until...the late game first pitch by reliever Carlos Marmol. (Yes, the very same Carlos Marmol starting in place of Kerry Wood at tomorrow's All-Star Game.) The "All-Star" was eventually responsible for a rare Giants comeback that tied the game. The Cubs won the game in extra innings, but I lost on the Cubs point spread and the under as well.
Thankfully there is a flip side to this sort of outcome, a yang to the yin, a glass half full. Because sometimes we win bets we have no business winning. Sometimes a professional athlete actually performs like he or she is getting paid millions...and thusly pads your bankroll.
That said, it will take both hell freezing over and a Madonna/Richard Simmons wedding before I lay money down on the National League to win the 2008 All Star Game.
What was the National League thinking? If the goal is to make the most clownish bullpen decision possible, then why not suit up comedian Carlos Mencia instead of Carlos Marmol. At least when Mencia blows the game in the 9th inning, he can make up for it later with an impromptu comedy set in the locker room.
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