This big, albino white dope squeezes himself out of the drivers door. I swear he looks like Grimace. He's got a big dumb smile and is wearing a stained, dull purple, Ray Rice jersey. I told him that he made quite the entrance. He boasted it was his company's van. He said he was the number 3 salesman in his store. Using the van was just one of the perks he gets. I asked him if they possibly had a nicer van. He replied, "this is the nicest one out of the fleet!" He then continued, "I do them a favor, they do me a favor. I dropped off 2 deliveries along the way. In return, I get this bad boy all week! My wife got to sleep on the carpets most of the way until we delivered them. After that, she had to sleep on the floor, but I put a sleeping bag down for her the rest of the way!"
I hope you have an exceptionally pleasant time during your excursion ……
and I hope you take the time to let life’s hectic pace slow down just enough to fully take in it’s beauty and the ever cascading mountains of wondrous pleasure that it ingratiatingly offers 
with that being said , and with all due respect , in the locale and setting that you now find yourself in …….
it’s time to stop being cranky ……
opportunity is knocking at your door like the cops at 3 AM ….
time to open that sumbitch up , and make a statement …..
I fully expected to read that instead of your luggage , you got your weiner out , spun your wife around , and BOOM ! got down to business , cuz she’s smoking hot , so you did it right there on the carpet ……
You put down a lot of those same words it’s just that you assembled them differently……
make amends by draining your main vein cuz baby you ain’t friends …..
you’re lovers……
now close the blinds , put on some soft music and get down to the good stuff you makin’ love son of a bitch ……
God bless , don’t throw your back out , and by the time this PopTart I just put in is ready I know you’ll tell me how it went ……
Good luck Hank
Oh my God!
My wife and I were just down by the pool. She nudges me and what do I see? Mr. and Mrs. Grimace both sporting matching, filthy, stained Ray Rice jerseys! They begin going up to people at the pool and screaming, “We must protect this house!” Everybody’s startled. The Grimaces laugh and high five each other and anybody not to scared to high five them back.
We left immediately. This is going to be a long trip.
Established in 1995,
all week.
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