If anybody is grieving that he’s gone, say a few words on his behalf.
One time we were bushwacking our way through the Everglades on a mission to cull invasive species when I decided to go off and get myself bit by a Diamondback. And i'm just gonna come out and say it. The damn thing bit me right on my own snake. We were quite far from the nearest hospital and had no antivenom. I panicked but he knew just what to do. He got right down to the business of sucking the poison out. He repeated the procedure that night after we had retired to our shared tent. He kept vigil all night, holding me closely inside of our shared sleeping bag to ensure I kept warm. I made it through the night and the next morning, out of an abundance of caution, he sucked out any remaining poison. That man saved my life. I will miss his cooking. I will miss his scent.
One time we were bushwacking our way through the Everglades on a mission to cull invasive species when I decided to go off and get myself bit by a Diamondback. And i'm just gonna come out and say it. The damn thing bit me right on my own snake. We were quite far from the nearest hospital and had no antivenom. I panicked but he knew just what to do. He got right down to the business of sucking the poison out. He repeated the procedure that night after we had retired to our shared tent. He kept vigil all night, holding me closely inside of our shared sleeping bag to ensure I kept warm. I made it through the night and the next morning, out of an abundance of caution, he sucked out any remaining poison. That man saved my life. I will miss his cooking. I will miss his scent.
I swear to God that even though I know that bigred earned the right to work in that plush office with all the amenities that even still from time to time he’ll make his way down into the warehouse where all the mongoloids are working and he’ll strap a fuckin’ 3 seat couch to his back while balancing the ottoman on his head while still managing to hold a lamp in the hand that isn’t giving the finger to all the weaklings that have to use a handtruck .
fuckin’ punks . Show em who’s boss bigred . Psst it’s not Tony Danza . It’s you . You’re the Stone Cold Steve Austin of the Flooring Biz . What ?
I swear to God that even though I know that bigred earned the right to work in that plush office with all the amenities that even still from time to time he’ll make his way down into the warehouse where all the mongoloids are working and he’ll strap a fuckin’ 3 seat couch to his back while balancing the ottoman on his head while still managing to hold a lamp in the hand that isn’t giving the finger to all the weaklings that have to use a handtruck .
fuckin’ punks . Show em who’s boss bigred . Psst it’s not Tony Danza . It’s you . You’re the Stone Cold Steve Austin of the Flooring Biz . What ?
I only fucks with the semolina bread . I don’t semi-lean that way or nothin’ . It’s full bore at lightning speed . And full steam ahead . I let the suburban kids fucks with that wonderbread shit . Can’t touch it . Won’t do it . Not even if it has Nutella on it . Wonderbread is for guys that wear sandals to Wawa when it’s not even the summer . I scoff at those pusssies . Have some self respect . It’s a convenience store . Not a women’s day spa where you get your labia waxed . To those guys I say GFY
I only fucks with the semolina bread . I don’t semi-lean that way or nothin’ . It’s full bore at lightning speed . And full steam ahead . I let the suburban kids fucks with that wonderbread shit . Can’t touch it . Won’t do it . Not even if it has Nutella on it . Wonderbread is for guys that wear sandals to Wawa when it’s not even the summer . I scoff at those pusssies . Have some self respect . It’s a convenience store . Not a women’s day spa where you get your labia waxed . To those guys I say GFY
it’s probably not a good idea to ask me . Cuz I just watched BraveHeart . So you know , at any moment i might just shit on my hands and smear it on my face and go to war . Ya know ? So imma politely decline to expound on the haps and the circumstances in regards to the execution of that motherfuckin’ happy little tree paintin’ hammerhead shark known as Bob Ross . I will chew a piece of gum while leaning on a GTO and exclaim that “ That’s Right ! I’m a BootLegga ! “ though
it’s probably not a good idea to ask me . Cuz I just watched BraveHeart . So you know , at any moment i might just shit on my hands and smear it on my face and go to war . Ya know ? So imma politely decline to expound on the haps and the circumstances in regards to the execution of that motherfuckin’ happy little tree paintin’ hammerhead shark known as Bob Ross . I will chew a piece of gum while leaning on a GTO and exclaim that “ That’s Right ! I’m a BootLegga ! “ though
We fight for you every day
We fight for you every day
reinstatement ? You shittin’ me ?
I’m ready to get thrown out of this place faster than a chainsmoker heaves their cigarette out the window of their automobile after getting bad news or arguing on their cellular mobile phone while driving .
I must have pissed someone off pretty severely . But I’m a good person and I’m used to the hate . I’ve got a lot of experience with it . It’s nothing new .
Whether people dislike me because my culture is different , or because my language is different , or if it’s because I’m not willing to sell myself out for fear of criticism or for that mass appeal or for whatever .
Or maybe it’s because I’m just so motherfuckin’ fly and won’t play ball with them good ‘ol boys and that whole tired network .
but I’m definitely not whispering “ tippytoe “ or “ lemon tree “ or whatever for fear of being caught for something . I’m proud of everything I do . And if I’m not then I’m man enough to apologize . So …..
sorry for not being able to get you reinstated . It’s been more difficult than I had anticipated .
reinstatement ? You shittin’ me ?
I’m ready to get thrown out of this place faster than a chainsmoker heaves their cigarette out the window of their automobile after getting bad news or arguing on their cellular mobile phone while driving .
I must have pissed someone off pretty severely . But I’m a good person and I’m used to the hate . I’ve got a lot of experience with it . It’s nothing new .
Whether people dislike me because my culture is different , or because my language is different , or if it’s because I’m not willing to sell myself out for fear of criticism or for that mass appeal or for whatever .
Or maybe it’s because I’m just so motherfuckin’ fly and won’t play ball with them good ‘ol boys and that whole tired network .
but I’m definitely not whispering “ tippytoe “ or “ lemon tree “ or whatever for fear of being caught for something . I’m proud of everything I do . And if I’m not then I’m man enough to apologize . So …..
sorry for not being able to get you reinstated . It’s been more difficult than I had anticipated .
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