Magnum PI - RIP

Good work yesterday !!!

@Patchadamswins  thanks for the nice mention!

I'm showing covers the playbook I put together off my beats 

Fake news

Looks like I fell for the hoax and was too lazy to verify it:

https://en.mediamass.net/people/tom-selleck/deathhoax.html

The Stash Selling Reverse Mortgages lives on 

“ But I know something about you , you went to Cranbrook , that’s a private school …. “

Homeboy always had that sweet ride Ferrari . Probably got all the chicks with that too . Not that he needed it with that hairy hat he wore over his upper lip . Fucking majestic . Plus he was Mr. Baseball and the only one of the 3 men that cared for that baby for real . That Steve Gutenberg was a punk yo . He peaked at “ Mahoney “ . And Ted Danson ? Fuck outta here . He wasn’t nothin’ without his Woody .

p.s. wallstreet can you clean up that debacle in the politics forum ?

every thread is the same thing . It’s an eyesore . And that ain’t fake news .

We need a little balance in there wall . It’s teeter tottering into madness . I don’t like Trump either but can you please put your hate for him aside for a moment and do what’s best for that forum ?

It’s like someone that’s watching a baby die in the corner of a room , indifferent to the matter , because they are fast forwarding through a movie that has Denise Richards in it because somebody said she shows her tits in one of the scenes .

unnecessary . Even though them meatbags is probably nice . We gotta get up and save that baby wall ! Or at the very least help it to stop crying so that we can better focus and concentrate on getting a gander at them teardrops . Ya heard ?

it’s a shame what’s happening in there . That little forum coulda grew up to be a productive member of society , or a leader with honor and ethics , but we’ll never know , because it’s future is being cut short .

I’ll be Tom Selleck , you be my Ted Danson , and we’ll get thirdperson to be Gutenberg .

now let’s Save That Baby !

 Gutenberg was voted out of the tribe in the early 90s because he was a schlemiel faygeleh.

Nobody with an ounce of talent or self respect would dare stoop down to rock bottom level to be your guys Gutenberg.

@spockgato

 This is a Magnum thread not a bug me about the politics forum thread.

But in my defense ……the guys in there are dicks and it’s a HUGE problem 

I heard huge and dicks in the same sentence and magically ended up here

Sup, guys? We hanging out? I'm down to hang out.

@spockgato

 Mahoney was kinda of a chump too. And he was way outta pocket for leading good ol' Commandant Lassard to believe he sucked him off. I'd like to believe at some point he let him know that it was really a hooker. A female hooker.

Hendon Hooker's mama?

I would hug wallstreet two times as long as Henson Hooker hugged his mama homies if he helped herd in the hierarchy of hubris that’s hurtling so harmful in the hairy situation that’s happening in the humble home known as the covers politics forum on the hip hip hooray tip so holla to that ….

I just wrote a lot . But don’t forget the tip . Cuz that’s what’s important . Cuz I just wanna get the tip in . That’s it . Just the tip .

Cuz once that happens I know it’s inevitable , the cascading gushing of what would come next would be magnificent in it’s splendor , it would be a show more spectacular than that rinky dink water display that they trot out to mesmerize those bogus tourists out there in the desert at Caesar’s in Vegas ….

it would be like putting Hanukkah , Christmas , and Festivus together in one celebration that would be so amazing , and so groundbreaking in it’s power of authenticity , that it would even make a smart ass jokester like Mahoney reveal to the hated Commandant Lassard that he was the mastermind behind the mouth to genitals scandal that rocked the Police Academy to it’s core in the cocaine era known as “ the early to mid 80s “

I’d lick the the fine white powder that layed resting inside the mustache hairs of Tom Selleck after a particularly hard core night of debauchery to get a little order in that forum . But then again like that hooker said to Crocodile Dundee …

” I might have to do that one for free …. “

” yeeeeah…….. One What ? “

Hahahahahaha ….. so funny 

“ That’s not a knife …… that’s a Knife ….. “

he made the guy throw his cocaine into a pot of boiling water and sniff up the vapors ! Too great !

and that blonde that he was entering into on a nightly basis . Damn son . Homegirl was Thick . Put another shrimp on the Barby boys cuz Foster’s ! it’s Australian for beer ( that’s a lie )…

like a lot of things are . Keep your eyes open peeps cuz it’s a fucked up world out there .

My eyes hurt.

You gotta get that better kush then . Whatcha prolly usin’ is just some cheap knockoff that was smuggled inside the buttcrack of some portly women who calls her home :

just some little town where the priests keep their hands to themselves just outside of Monterrey Mexico where the coyotes got some cheap prices to get you over the border , it’s just that you have to agree to be be sewn into the backseat of an econoline van in order to get that GOOD price .

ya heard ?

ya dig ?

you might be on that peasant kush , or that novice kush , or even that jimmy crack corn kush that Snoop Dogg so eloquently spoke about in Training Day .

you ever even watch Crocodile Dundee ?

it’s a fucking masterpiece !

And besides my eyes hurt everyday . You ever stop and take a look around at the shit going on in in the world like Ferris Bueller said ? Yes life moves pretty fast but most of the stuff i see I’d rather miss . Good grief ! Other than that the movie is a classic . Just Cameron is such a downer for most of the movie . A positive thing though is that Charlie Sheen is in it and he’s most likely AIDS free in that movie . Pre-Tiger Blood . Although you can see a hint of what lies just beneath the surface with him if you pay attention . And the chick from Dirty Dancing still has that big potato nose . Why did she change it . And the principal ? Don’t even get me started on him . You took the wrong life path homie . Damn . Check out his story . It’ll scare the dingleberries right off your puffy butt hair yikes .

I swear to God most of the time when I go walking the Earth like Caine from Kung Fu I sometimes encounter females that are wearing odd fitting jeans that are 3 sizes too small with the Bon Jovi rips in them to where the flesh drips out like it’s the sausage coming out of the machine at your local authentic Italian delicatessen .

Bubba Smith draped in a latex bodysuit wearing a blond wig would be more attractive .

“ Yamma Yamma Yammma ! “

Right ? Is it only me that sees this ? Is this fashion ?

Don’t get me wrong , I like the notion that you wanna look good , even the big girls , but how come it appears that the holes in your pants have some kind of malformed dickmeat protruding from it like a Buffalo New York rest stop gloryhole ?

gadzooks man . She needs a friend standing behind her just to make sure the flaps of flesh don’t get caught in the car door when it closes or that it doesn’t get stuck in the escalator creases on her way up to the high end pants store at the mall .

I kind of admire the attitude of two ton Tillie in leotards but i can only take but a glance. Wouldn't a tu tu or whatever that thing Homer donned when he gained a little weight be better for all. 

Yes

It’s not the kush….

Maybe it’s me then , I don’t know , it could be , but I’m not sure . Maybe all the geeks surrounding me in this world , with their trivial pursuits and their utterly boring dweebiness and dorkiness , is beginning to sap my strength …..

and it’s possibly starting to have an effect on the extra gear of special decadence that I possess , but that’s just a hypothesis though , and it hasn’t been confirmed by a reputable research team that deals with and quantifies such matters …..

But I can tell you this with certainty , just the same as when you know that next risky fart ejection you missile out of your poophole could be mixed with liquid and thus could be classified as “ a shart “…….

that I feel my language transmission is a bit clunky right now , and I can’t maneuver and switch up on the fly as smoothly and gregariously as I used to .

on a side note , I once used to run in the same circles as two brothers named Greg and Gary .

couple weirdos those two . They used to fish through people’s garbage in the hopes of finding anything valuable , like old playboys or copper piping . If they weren’t satisfied with the contents of what was in the bins , or God forbid stuck their fingers into some dirty diapers or used tampons , they would become irate and ornery , and they would tip the garbage bins over in disgust while shouting curse words that were new to me and that I had never heard before …..

and while I appreciated the vocabulary lesson I couldn’t associate with them any further , cuz you know , I’m not about that life 

And no disrespect to Hank in the other thread , because he doesn’t need any help getting any crankier …….

but da fuck you calling it “ noodles “ for ?

you call the sauce “ gravy “ too I presume ?

God damn . And everyone who’s anyone knows that the Caciocavallo cheese is the supreme liquid dairy piss derived product on the market today .

So stop playing around “ cu tutti sti minchiate “ cheeses and get on some real shit homie .

"Maybe it’s me then , I don’t know , it could be , but I’m not sure . Maybe all the geeks surrounding me in this world , with their trivial pursuits and their utterly boring dweebiness and dorkiness , is beginning to sap my strength ….."

Dude, what is happening to the modern day male is frightening. It feels like being a beta is not only acceptable, but becoming the norm.

Like how do women ignore all their animal instincts of attraction to the alpha? It kind of keeps the strongest genes passed on through reproduction. 

These "men" today are as follows:

1. You're never getting a firm handshake, be careful of the dead fish.

2. 99% chance he doesn't know where the spare tire is on his car.

3. He's gonna talk feminine, and take jabs at any dudes who own big trucks, wear plaid, drink beer, hunt etc...you know like stuff that men do. Apparently, at some point in time, the use for that kind of man became obsolete, and now all we're stuck with is feminine types but they're way more "intelligent".

4. He's gonna wear a scarf at around 49 degrees and lower, 100% of the time.

5. Becoming a vegan isn't always a guarantee, but always on their to do list, if not all ready a vegan. Probably a lot of vegetarians who just can't quit cheese.