Troubled Waters

Or maybe somebody can put me in the camel clutch.  Have you ever been put in the camel clutch?  A tough position to be in, no doubt about it.

I'd like to give give a big up to main man boogey, down on 153rd in Brooklyn, a shout out to my nigga TuReal, he doing the big bid, 25 to life.  And last but certainly not least all due respect to my man TreyGoose, hella real.

WTF?  Sorry there guys just pretending I am a cool rapper who goes to clubs and stuff on Saturday at 9:30 at night, instead of a loner...a shy guy stuck up in his dilapidated house.  A guy who cannot afford new siding for the house, and not enough credit to put in new energy efficient windows.  This is big because the government will give you tax credits for the full amount of the cost of new energy efficient stuff.  Nope.  Our air runs and goes right out the damn window because I am a fuk wad.  Repeat after me, fuk you ProtoStar, you have blown it all.  Do that 30 times a day, that is what I do.

Let's face it, I have blown all my life opportunities and may not get any more.  People want to give young guys a shot.  Nobody wants to give a middle aged space-ace any kind of opportunity.  I use to work for a landscape company in high school and that was my nick name.  Space-ace.  I smoked about 2 fat joints during work hours every day and I got lit.  Many bad things happened because I was too stoned.  I was blowing off the area around the gas pumps at a gas station, my shirt came untucked, and it got sucked up into the blower.  Ripped it all up.  This happened twice. 

By the end of the summer I was so tired of the idiot we had for a boss, I just started intentionally demolishing the jobs we did.  He fired me.  It was the first of over 10 firings I would be the victim of in the next 10 or so years.

I started smoking crack and never worked again.  I don't smoke crack any more but I do yearn for it from time to time.  On nights like tonight.  There was a guy that had the cleanest rocks, we called it butter.  One hit off that shit and you are hooked for life.  Straight to the moon, no much better.  Am I talking about smoking crack here?  What the hell is wrong with me MP? 

When I was a kid I we watched wrestling to learn the moves to perform them on each other.  The least painful was the scorpion death lock that Sting had.  The worst was the camel clutch, oh my.  The worst feeling was when a mean kid decided to break the rules and not stop when you yelled out.  You would rather die than be put in the human torture rack like Lex Lugar did to people, and not get out of it for 5 minutes.

But these are things that I am strongly considering introducing back into my life.  As a means for keeping my head on somewhat straight.  I am going to hire some guys at the gym to do these things to me, and keep it going for 10 minutes now that I am an adult. 

EddieGordo do you struggle internally like me?

Keep up the good fight my brothers.  I shall return, until then collapse yourselves. 

Girl like you









 

As I drift off into oblivion.  Crying and holding myself, I take a minute to listen to this song that takes me back to my boyhood.  A time of hope.

I ran

Oh why I am thinking about it.  I came conscious to watch the womens finals of the French Open today.  I fell in love with both women.  That Chinese woman had the cleanest looking legs, they looked like the softest skin, oh my.  And she was not too skinny, not too big, just right, fuck me.  Then the girl she was playing from south Europe.  She was hot too man, the was she moved she was like an energizer bunny out there I can only imagine what she is like in bed. 

You see guys I fell in love twice today without leaving my house.  Are you starting to understand the problem I have?  The song in post 1177 right above is dedicated to those women playing tennis.  A great sport.

once again you refuse to listen to me.  find rich older women and go midnight cowboy on them.  theres gold and jewels inside those rotting meat curtains.  grab your snorkel/nose clips and take one for the team.  are you hearing me, get off the couch and person yourself out.  no hot chinese tennis ladies....sagging buttocks hold your key to financial success.

You really think this is necessary?  Can't there be some easier way?  Is this really what it has come to?  There is no hope for me to marry a hot tennis female?  I'm devastated if this is true.  Do you want me to jump off the tree again? 

DrJ all the time I see ugly, fat guys with good looking women, holding hands and stuff.  Why can't a normal guy like me get a hot female?  If I don't have a hot female to caress by August I will pitch a historical fit.  Maybe some woman will be impressed by this fit.  I cannot go where you are telling me to go DrJ.  Thanks for trying though brother. 

Proto,

do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain ?

 

dytide I do.  And I'm not into yoga, and I have half a brain.  And yes I like making love at midnight, in the dunes on the cape.  I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape. 

I would love to escape dytide.  I feel the need to escape and fly away.  Fly through the cool mountain air, over the seas, down through the rivers of Venice.  But I don't known if its in the cards buddy.  The time is flying by too fast I've blown it. 

This is for you dytide.   Time in a Bottle

Croce

whats buggin ya mikey

 

don't you cry tonight

Nothing like being put in a camel toe.

 

 

suck a fuck!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbf6JqkNc

you got it

Very happy to see Jaysvdub come in this thread with a solid appearance 

Well wifey might be leaving me.  I married up anyway so my time is fleeting I'm sure.  She claims that during the 3rd orbital which is another name for sleep, I make crying/wimpering noises before hollering out.  I holler out that I want a sweet sugarplum of a woman, then she claims I scream as loud as I can and roll off the bed.  I do not do it on purpose and it is very embarrassing that other people hear it.  I wondered why I woke up on the floor the past couple nights and this explains it. 

I tell her that I am just talking about her but she won't believe it.  I tell her that my friend dytide will come over and explain everything to her.  That makes her think I am crazy in the head.  Maybe I am. 

I tried dancing in the rain a couple days ago just so I could maybe catch a small buzz.  After that I got my compass out and headed SouthWest.  I figured that direction was as good as any to hike toward.  After I walked for an hour I headed NorthEast until I hit the swamp.  I jumped in and out, in and out.  After I got out of the water I danced by a cypress tree.  So what I thought?  Will anyone punish me for this?  No I told myself, and then I laid out in the sun for a while to catch a tan.

There are no hills close to my house so in order to relive my boyhood memories of rolling down a hill, I have to get on my roof and do it that way.  Many here at covers can relate. 

Dancing away my blues, I have become accustomed to people spitting on me.  So what I though, can't I take a shower afterwards?  Are there any laws against showers, perhaps even a bath?  No I told myself, there are not.

Yes I do remember that Johnny Dawkins jumpshot when he was at Duke.  I was a young chap but wow does that bring back some great memories!  Maybe someday Dawkins will knock coach K out cold and check himself back in the game one last time, that is my hope anyway.  I would faint if I could see Dawkins shed his suit and hit one of those sweet jumpers!  Many here can attest to this.

Trekkers unite!  Stormblast your way through the building!  Halt for nothing!  Stonewall Jackson at his finest moment!  Think about your future.  Gleam a strike forward until you gain enough signatures on the petition.  A stalwart if there ever was one!

Don't stop believing

 

I have a couple things to say.  First I would like to give a shout out to one of my good friends, Dopey.  Also known as Dopalicious.  When I was in a bad way before, I told Dopey to leave.  I'm crying as I type this but....Dopay!  Dopay!  Dopay!  Come back to me!  I am going to punish myself for what I have done to my friend Dopey.  I just slapped myself and that is only the beginning.

I also want to tell you guys about a dream I had today while .  Maybe some can relate.  I was in such a great mood, almost high, during this dream.  I was with a beautiful girl that I had just started a relationship with.  We were teenagers.  I was in a love high.  This dream lasted a long time and it was totally blissful.  Then at the end we were riding in a car when the girl turned to me and told me "I just don't know how long we can last".  She was telling me that our relationship would not last.  I instantly woke up and felt horrible.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  Even though it was a dream I stayed in a bad mood.

Dopey if you are reading this, I have asked a guy to help me with punishment.  I am going to park my car in somebody's garage who is not home.  Shut the garage and keep my car running.  Inhale enough fumes to knock me unconscious.  Then my helper is to open the garage so I don't kill myself.  But punishment will be pretty harsh.  Dopey maybe this will be enough to bring you back to me. 

while on the couch.  I had the dream while on the couch.  I have been feeling a little looney lately.  Here is my song to dopay.

Come Back To Me

leave him be proto...its for the best...

MP why has Dopay left me?

he left for greener pastures...back on the wagon bigtime I'm afraid...