Troubled Waters

Quote Originally Posted by Biscuiteater1:

When you pass on aint nobody getting smoked or thrown in the laminated chest but you, so you outta live the life you choose. 10 - 4 good buddy.

Quote Originally Posted by ProtoStar:

Well I am a very unhappy man.  Piss poor life management has led to this.  I feel I am a burden to society and a burden to people around me.  I got a small boat for 25 dollars and went out into the lake for some quiet time.  I forgot to get a paddle, so while in the middle of the lake, I had to jump in the water to push the boat around.  Do you see?  These things are standard for me.  I push my own buttons. 

I bought a fentanyl patch before I went out into the boat.  I was told to eat the stuff inside.  It messed me up bad, so while in the boat I stripped naked and started chanting like an Indian.  I don't know why I did this, just a total loser and making losing moves. 

Turns out another group of Native Americans were there in the lake and had some tomahawks.  They didn't appreciate my chanting because without knowing it, I chanted the way their rivals chant.  With the Fentanyl kicking in full force, they started throwing tomahawks at me in the boat.  One hit me in the back and knocked me into the water. 

Fearing for my life and obliterated from the Fentanyl patch, I swam behind the boat, and on to the shore.  Naked and dazed, I chanted again like an Indian.  This was not smart because the other Indians followed me onto the shore.  They tied me up and took me back to where they had a tent and a fire going.  They said they wanted a ransom for me. 

So my family negotiated and paid a 150 dollar ransom for my release.  They would not give the Indians 175.

Still dazed from the Fentanyl, I took a cab to the mayors office and tried to fight him.  He is 75 years old, but he was a fighter in younger days .  He tied me to a tree outside and fined me 500 dollars.  They say I swung 15 times and missed all punches.  Then the mayor took 1 swing and rendered me unconscious. 

I got home and now I wonder where this is all going.  Mayor is not pressing charges, because I agreed to be the first official "town idiot".  So in the books of the city, I have a special label.  The town idiot.  What it basically means is that anything abnormal I do from now on is considered lunacy, and I have to spend a month in the county mental facility.  The determination of whether an action I take is abnormal or not can be made by any citizen of the city, and they can perform a citizens arrest.

I must admit this is a bit embarrassing, and I don't really know what to do.  To be considered a town idiot is somewhat disturbing to me.  Hopefully people here at covers will accept me more than the physical world does at the moment. 

Funky Cold Medina

Quote Originally Posted by Iw1nBets:

Quote Originally Posted by sandals17:

50/50 : Truth to Phony Holy Water

No sooner had I retired from this glorious thread than I was subject to a "new star generating" story of my own.

   I was enjoying my daily poolside lazy bookread after my druggie-yoga session and bi-lunar cycle polishing of the bronze bust of michealpaul that sits upon my 'Lincoln Log' replica of Mao Tse Tsung when I was interrupted by a man.  I thought him to be a tenant at my condo community (and did until considerably further along in the interaction) and paid no mind as he sat down uncomfortably close to my pool chair.

"How old are you?",  he asked, without pre-emption, his naked lady tattoo's spread vulva toward me; a dark intricate contrast to it's pale bicep pallette.  "Thirty-Four", I replied.  "I'm an athiest", he blurted... - he even had a clit tossed in there on his arm!  "Ok", I said "I'm Jesus Christ". 

After a few awkward moments during which he took off his left shoe and a moldy gauze wrap off of his right foot, the man with the Penthouse arm said tentatively, "I umm... I can uhhm.. - control the weather... But I'm in different dimensions right now, hold on - don't laugh if my eyes go weird  It won't last long."  "Right on man" I said, hiding my acute paranoia that somehow lead my mind straight to the idea that just maybe - I mean 'maa-aaybe', someone out there has been keeping tabs on the Proto thread I had previously thought to be so innocuous.  And this 'maa-aaybe' scenario is making me wonder if I'd gotten myself in over my head with a few dis-jointed rants on an otherwise benign forum.   I'd only begun my ........ 

TO BE CONTINUED

Quote Originally Posted by michaelpaul1:

I hate Indians...

Quote Originally Posted by ProtoStar:

Well I am a very unhappy man.  Piss poor life management has led to this.  I feel I am a burden to society and a burden to people around me.  I got a small boat for 25 dollars and went out into the lake for some quiet time.  I forgot to get a paddle, so while in the middle of the lake, I had to jump in the water to push the boat around.  Do you see?  These things are standard for me.  I push my own buttons. 

I bought a fentanyl patch before I went out into the boat.  I was told to eat the stuff inside.  It messed me up bad, so while in the boat I stripped naked and started chanting like an Indian.  I don't know why I did this, just a total loser and making losing moves. 

Turns out another group of Native Americans were there in the lake and had some tomahawks.  They didn't appreciate my chanting because without knowing it, I chanted the way their rivals chant.  With the Fentanyl kicking in full force, they started throwing tomahawks at me in the boat.  One hit me in the back and knocked me into the water. 

Fearing for my life and obliterated from the Fentanyl patch, I swam behind the boat, and on to the shore.  Naked and dazed, I chanted again like an Indian.  This was not smart because the other Indians followed me onto the shore.  They tied me up and took me back to where they had a tent and a fire going.  They said they wanted a ransom for me. 

So my family negotiated and paid a 150 dollar ransom for my release.  They would not give the Indians 175.

Still dazed from the Fentanyl, I took a cab to the mayors office and tried to fight him.  He is 75 years old, but he was a fighter in younger days .  He tied me to a tree outside and fined me 500 dollars.  They say I swung 15 times and missed all punches.  Then the mayor took 1 swing and rendered me unconscious. 

I got home and now I wonder where this is all going.  Mayor is not pressing charges, because I agreed to be the first official "town idiot".  So in the books of the city, I have a special label.  The town idiot.  What it basically means is that anything abnormal I do from now on is considered lunacy, and I have to spend a month in the county mental facility.  The determination of whether an action I take is abnormal or not can be made by any citizen of the city, and they can perform a citizens arrest.

I must admit this is a bit embarrassing, and I don't really know what to do.  To be considered a town idiot is somewhat disturbing to me.  Hopefully people here at covers will accept me more than the physical world does at the moment. 

Funky Cold Medina

Quote Originally Posted by michaelpaul1:

I hate Indians...

Quote Originally Posted by ProtoStar:

This town idiot thing has gotten out of hand.  Apparently they had been waiting a long time to give this label to somebody.  Apparently many other small to medium sized cities and towns are considering doing this as well.  I am the guinea pig.  First test case. 

I was served my paper in the middle of the night while sleeping.  2am was when the door was banged on and some police officers served me with the papers.  It says in big letters at the top "TOWN IDIOT".  Then it has a picture of me pushing my boat along in the lake.  How did they get that picture?  The officers were laughing so hard they fell out on my porch.  I tried helping one of them up and he bent my arm behind my back and told me not to make any stupid moves or I was going to the clinic.  Then he pushed me down and they left, laughing uncontrollably. 

Then I got today's paper.  Front page headlines it reads "Our first town idiot has been identified", and it has my picture on it.  They are also passing out town idiot lights for people to put on their cars, so they can pull me over if I do something stupid while driving.  Every citizen of the city gets one of these.  When activated and put on a person's car, the light goes off and a sound comes out real loud that says, simply, "pull over lunatic, pull over lunatic".  Over and over again.  To me this is going a bit overboard. 

There are people waiting in my bushes.  Watching every move I make so they can take the opportunity to arrest me.  Give people power and they want to run with it.  I picked my nose on the way out to get the paper, and some woman tackled me.  She said "wrong move lunatic, you are going to county".  Then a group of people help a meeting in my front yard while I was handcuffed.  They decided that picking my nose was not worthy of going to the clinic, so the issued a citizens citation.  A warning basically.  If I pick my nose in public again I am going to the looney house. 

This is a trying point in time for me and I need all the support I can get.  I cried in my cereal this morning.  At least I have music I guess.

Your Wildest Dreams

Quote Originally Posted by spockgato:

rasta general , pen letters cruel ,
preferential to the mental penance to the illegible ,
so please highlight the readin'
and size up the thesis
if i put a line up you see it
recieving the underneath shit
the secrets
the double meanins ,
read in between it....
soiled underwear sticking to the inside of your jeans
it's not a crime but it's vile please
abstain from the vague , trapping what you defecate isn't sane
back away from this maze
if you have to backtrack and retrace disaster will happen barricading escape
pharaoh great with the haze
monumental with the tropical perennial
i'm talking the chronic not the constant the not stopping but guess you knew
one thing can mean another
as the sweet relief of leaf is butter
on my bacon
earthquake your brain hurt it and shake it
turbulent swayin'
like a christmas snowglobe
witness the sickness cataclysmic yet so dope
no hope
no chance
you cant fight the raw
like michaelpaul who likes the balls
live life like that gripe write you off
fuckin' kite that's lost
with a pink ribbon striped up in glitter
my n****r
devise a style designed to administer
a correct path of livin
without all the bitchin'
be proud dogg and listen
cuz the world is awake
walk through this portal abnormal but changed
unphased to misfortune and it's inglorious craze.........

Quote Originally Posted by Iw1nBets:

2000'th post in this thread.