Moving to Vegas to become a full time pro handicapper

There's a movie that came out in 1988 called Coming To America.

Did anyone here see it? No matter. I'm going to tell you and CG about it because its themes bear resemblance to what is going on with this Vegas trip (and 'trip' is kind because I want to use the word 'debacle' but can't do so just yet).

Anyhow, it starred Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall and James Earl Jones, all one-time box office and/or TV powerhouses.

Eddie played Prince Akeem.

Arsenio played Semmie, Akeem's underling.

And James Earl Jones was King.

Now why am I telling you all this?

Well there is a scene in that movie that basically is the springboard for Prince Akeem's entire trip to America, hence the title of the movie.

James Earl Jones is all for his son going to America. He thinks it's about his son's sexual conquests before being ordered to marry.

But Prince Akeem is actually searching for a wife he will be able to love instead of having one arranged.

The King speaks one key line about his son that reminds me of this entire Vegas trip: "Let him sow his royal oats."

Semmie is all for this and beds down, or at least attempts to bed down a bevy of women throughout the film.

Prince Akeem never loses focus though, and eventually finds his bride.

Now if this Vegas trip were to mirror the plot in coming to America, who would CG be?

Well he's no Prince Akeem, I'll tell you that. He's definitely more like Semmie.

And his 'oats' certainly aren't 'royal'. Perhaps someone could make a remix of Lorde's hit and have it say "CG's oats will never be rooooyal...."?

No, his oats are from the bottom of the barrel where all the rejected Italian sausages reside.

And what has he decided to do on the biggest trip of his life? His own "Coming to America"?

He's sowing his oats far and wide with anything that moves.

And this folks, is allegedly a trip about 'becoming a pro gambler'.

This 'pro' business is pure poppycock.

This is a trip about having fun...and making some big bets along the way, living fast in Sin City.

Woohoo! You can hear the covers frat boys cheer him on. They write it here daily. Leave CG alone! Slay that Milf CG!

How has CG faired the day after is sexual escapades? 2-5. And he hasn't exactly betting setting the world on fire since the first bedroom romp of the trip overall. 

F's a Milf: Goes 1-3 the next night

F's another Milf: Goes 1-2 the next night (bigger bets this time though = more bankroll impact)

So you'd think, after hitting < 30% after engaging in such behavior he'd change his ways?

No. Not him.

His video says another Milf is ripe for the taking tonight.

After another lowlight of a night, this man's head is soon to be in between some 40-some year old's knockers. He's having his fun folks...and making some bets along the way...

Ah well, maybe she'll do his laundry. With the way he's going, I'd set the over/under on "Has CG washed his boxer shorts even once in Vegas" at 1/2.

Anyhow, if Semmie had his way in that movie both he and Akeem would have ended up in one place....the gutter.

So CG get your head out of the sand...I mean...those knockers and channel your inner Prince Akeem before it's too late...

or else you sir, will be working for $7.25 an hour as a cashier in McDowell's back in Joisy.

And believe me, Scally will be your first customer if that happens :::chucks milkshake...lands on CG's work attire:::

Waited for post number 3,000 and got it.

Felt it would be apropos for when CG's profit dips to that amount in a day or two.

It'll help him remember the post better.