NFL Parlay and Teaser Picks Week 16

Rather than coming together for holiday cheer, the Covers squad has never been more divided as we hit the home stretch of this season-long competition. And we don't mean social distancing.

Tempers are flaring in the editorial group chat, as the losing and frustration mount. Divergent strategies are emerging, with some creeping back to small-ball parlays while others swing for the fences. We can't even unite against 2020 tyrant Jared Hochman anymore, with defending champ Andrew Caley giving us peasants another target to chase. 

The NFL brought extra stuffing this weekend, with a full holiday weekend worth of football betting. Let's break down our staff's Week 16 picks—hopefully, they're not all turkeys.

NFL Teaser Picks Week 16

Jared Hochman, Publishing Editor (@JLHoch) ***Current Leader***

We took an L last week because rather than kick a field goal down 10 points with under two minutes left, the Patriots went for a 4th-and-6...and failed miserably.

With the defending champ hot on my tails, I’m guessing he goes back to his conservative teaser ways...and I’m going to try and stay one pick ahead of him!

Let’s bring down the spreads through some key numbers on favorites that have plenty of incentive to win: the Bucs, Bears and Cardinals.

PICK: 6-point teaser (Tampa Bay -2.5, Chicago -1.5, Arizona +1) +160
Season: +4.38 units

Andrew Caley, Senior Editor (@Covers_Caley) ***Defending Champion***

Click send on the Undertaker gifs! The Champ hit a big four-team parlay last week and now we're breathing down Hoch's neck. Less than a unit back, we're switching back to a teaser this week. The Jags won't screw up the Trevor Lawrence sweepstakes like the Jets did. The Ravens stay hot. And the cherry on top of the Bills’ AFC East title will be a win over the Pats.

PICK: 6-Point Teaser (Chicago -1.5, Ravens -5, Bills -1) +160

Season: +3.87 units

Jason Logan, Senior Industry Analyst (@CoversJLo)

'Tis the season for giving and with plenty of big underdogs on the board, I’m going to fatten those spreads like my pants size this holiday and give the gift of plenty of points. Using a 6-point teaser and plumping the point spreads on the Falcons (+10.5 to +16.5), Giants (+11 to +17), Lions (+9.5 to +15.5) and Bengals (+8 to +14). 

PICK: 6-point teaser (Falcons +16.5, Giants +17, Lions +15.5, Bengals +14) +250
Season: -6.8 units

Rob Hansen, Content Coordinator (@Mookie_45)

There once was a fat man named, "Claus" 
Whose reindeer had shit on their paws. 
With the Patriots' talent in doubt, 
The shit was them, it turns out. 
The Bills will expose more of their flaws. 

PICK: 6-point teaser (Chicago -1.5, LA Rams-Seattle Over 41.5, Tennessee-Green Bay Under 62, Buffalo -1) +250

Season: -1.99 units 

NFL Parlay Picks Week 16

Jameson Mossman, Social Media Coordinator (@Covers_JaMo)

Here we are, it's Week 16, and our boy Jared sits in first place. And while he sits in his penthouse this holiday season, I have prepared a nice little parlay that I hope will connect and send me to the top. Packers have trouble stopping the run and Derrick Henry is the last running back they want to see, Mahomes and the Chiefs are due for a big week, Pats/Bills and Broncos/Chargers will struggle to score points.

PICK: 4 game alternate spread/total parlay (Titans +1, Chiefs -12.5, Bills/Pats Under 45.0, Broncos/Chargers Under 48) +1,864

Season: -3.25 units

Brandon DuBreuil, Content Manager (@CoversBD)

It's desperation time around these parts so we're going for a big payday, starting with Arizona -5 over the decimated 49ers and Las Vegas +3 over the Dolphins, a team that is, quite frankly, better with Ryan Fitzpatrick at the helm than with Tua. 

Then on Sunday, I'm adding the hottest offense in the NFL with Baltimore -11 and then throwing in the Rams on the moneyline (+100) in hopes they bounce back from utter embarrassment with a win over Seattle.

PICK: 4-team parlay (Arizona -5, Las Vegas +3, Baltimore -11, L.A. Rams ML) +1,236

Season: -2.75 units

AJ Salah, Publishing Editor (@Salas42_)

We were a half-point by the Colts away from stinging last week and really making this a fun sweat down the stretch (pro tip: beware key numbers!), so for Week 16 we need to break out the big guns. This four-teamer spread parlay should do the trick: 

Browns to cover Jets, who got their foolish win and should play dead. Dolphins over Raiders, who seem like a pure fade right now at a good price. The Football Team in a virtual pick with the Panthers. And Drew Lock to do Drew Lock things vs. Herbert and the Chargers. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a winning ticket! (except, you know, the rest of these guys.)

PICK: Miami -3.0, Cleveland -9.5, Washington -1.0, L.A. Chargers -3.0 +1,297

Season: -2.92 units

Patrick Everson, Senior Writer (@Covers_Vegas)

Hi guys. Here we go with the suckitude:
 
When you lose these three-team standard parlays every week, it becomes clear that no matter what you do, you’re gonna lose. So I’m not gonna overthink this.

The Saints have lost two in a row and want to at least stay firm in the NFC’s No. 2 playoff spot, so I like Drew Brees and Co. to cover -7 on Christmas Day against the visiting Vikings. Let’s go WFT laying 2.5 at home against the Panthers. And give me DangerRuss Wilson and the Seahawks as 1.5-point home favorites against the Rams. Fade accordingly. Merry Christmas all!

PICK: New Orleans -7, Washington -2.5, Seattle -1.5 +596

Season: -12.36 units

Rohit Ponnaiya, Digital Content Producer (@Covers_Ro)

After going 3-0 on my parlays to start the year, I'm 0-13 so let's try to connect on a Hail Mary of my own.

I'm riding the Jalen Hurts bandwagon against a Cowboys team that had possibly the most offensively inept 40-point performance of all time last week. Backing King Henry and the Titans to come away from Lambeau with a W and taking the Rams to bounce back on the road.

And let's fade my Lions for good measure.

PICK: Philadelphia -1.4, Tennessee ML, L.A. Rams ML, Tampa Bay -8 +1,713
Season: -7.2 units 

Josh Inglis, NFL Writer (@inglis_josh4)

Desperate times call for desperate measures and at -10.8 units with only 2 weeks left in the regular season, it's as desperate as she gets.

Love the Chicago offense and Jacksonville could be forced to pass with James Robinson questionable. Baltimore is 11-3 ATS in the first half this year. Green Bay's offense looked human last week in the 2H as they collected under 70 yards of offense in the final 30 minutes. 

PICK: Chicago/Jacksonville Over 47, Baltimore first half -6, Tennessee ML +847
Season: -10.8 units

Where Can I Make Parlay and Teaser Bets Online?

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