Asking for acceptance

Fatlip came out with an album called the loneliest punk.  This describes me to a tee.  I am the loneliest punk.

Who am I kidding, who am I foolin, when they say whats up ProtoStar and I say Coolin

This song is me to a tee.  I'm trash I'm a retard.  I have people even trying to bully me on this message board.  I am lucky I am behind a keyboard or else I would get hurt.

As we turn to another week I look outside and wonder if I have already lost the game of life.

ProtoStar, go back and read your last few post, you was not depressed you where teaching, or explaining things about the bible. Forgetting you where depressed without a mention in some post. Then you ended it with this last post, putting yourself down again.

It was like when you felt you was finished explaining or teaching which ever you want to call it, you was not complete anymore and got bored again. My meaning is if talking about the bible helps you forget the things that makes you down, teach the bible it could be your calling.

 

 

perhaps he should dust off his "church clothes"/"sunday's best"...

Oh god, here we go again.

Get on an airplane and travel overseas. India, Africa, Central America etc.....  walk the streets for a few days and get back to us about your little drug problems, depression and regrets.

You have a roof over your head, some hot food, heat and you're safe. Move on.

Pleaaaaase.

Guys you are right.  We need to start church again.  Problem is that wife doesnt have church clothes and I hesitate to go into any of the plain clothes churches me and my wife know many people there.  I will be made fun of and I am very shy.  I'm a smart guy but very shy.

searchwarrant again like I say time and time over in this thread.  Go back and read my posts.  I understand that I have blessings other people dont have and I thank God for that almost daily. 

But then again, there are a lot of poor people who dont have depression like I do and are actually happier.  Its not about your circumstances as much as it is about brain chemistry.  But I am thankful I dont have a disease like cancer, even though I could die from taking drugs any day.  At least now I have a chance to clean up and maybe make it.  Although Corey haim died right after he got clean.

I've seen overseas 3rd world first hand.  Its horrible.  I'm very thankful that I'm not there.  But that doesn't take away my clinical depression.  Believe it or not real depression has nothing to do with your life circumstances unless of course you are severely malnourished like many in the 3rd world are.  Again my prayers are always going out to them.

I'm not sure i'm safe.  I feel like sometimes people are after me.  I have guns in the house all over the place and have house alarm that actually came with the house.  I still dont feel safe. 

 

searchwarrant the ability to be happy is almost totally related to how many "happy chemicals" like dopamine, seratonin, etc. you have in your brain.  And everybody has different levels, just like nobody looks alike, nobody has the same brain chemistry.

I am the loneliest punk.  I want to change my username.

searchwarrant this video is for you.  Sure I may be depressed but its better than the

WORST CASE SCENERIO

Like living in 3rd world

Look at me, thinking I'm all great cause I think I won an internet discussion.  What kind of clown gets pumped up about that?  The loneliest punk, thats who.

Prolly most people think I actually lost it.  Jerk, punk, wimp, joke, sex addict, internet tough guy?  I'm embarrassed to be here and I cant even see you guys.

stay strong proto

This is me also.  This is my twin I guess because we think alike except I am so much harder on myself.  Same guy as in the videos but an interview now.  This is me all day 24/7 365 guys. 

Fat Lip talks about himself and getting older

Sorry about all the posts but there is no edit post button.  I would just edit but instead I run up my post count.  Its probably a subconscious thing and I'm subconsciously trying to run up my post count to feel like I fit in more. 

-Loneliest Punk December 2010

Here is the stupid link it dont work above

Fat Lip blah blah blah

I'm very well versed on depression. It is almost as tangible as a broken leg but requires more lengthy diagnosis for full recovery. You are clean and on a cycle correct?

I'm not clean Im on opiates and benzos.  I've been diagnosed as bi polar but I dont have many manic episodes at all.

"There comes a time in every mans life when he's gotta handle shit up on his own Can't depend on friends to help you in a sqeeze, please they got problems of their
own"

"And as a victim I invented low-key til the keyhole itself got lower than me, So I stood up and let my free form form free, said I'm going get some before they knock it out me, I don't sweat it I let the bullshit blow in the breeze
in other words just freeze"

"we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year"

pick some winners

 

protostar you are the Fu$%ing man........keep going after the green bars, your story has been very unfortunate but i think you can either help someone else or be helped by people who have offered...in this thread...Good luck to you brother....started off as a crazy ass man with great taste in music and know your just a normal guy who is depressed and needs some help...

J man bless you my brother...

I know a large part of my depressions is just loneliness. I have no friends to talk to and no woman in my life and no intimacy whatsoever. I tell myself that would help me but you have a wife and a child and are still depressed so I worry now maybe it is just a sickness and nothing will ever make it go away. There will always be something that I think will make it better but really there is nothing.

People will make fun of you at church?  Wow.


Church... home of the hypocrite.


Proto I can't even keep reading your posts, they are so depressing and you won't even give us a glimmer of potential.  One time, you could at least say that you were thinking about maybe doing something.  Anything productive... it would at least be a start even if you don't actually do it.


You've read and responded to all of my posts, so where are the baby steps?  You need to start moving Proto... just do something productive today.  Help yourself get better. 

I knew someone that built a small church in his back yard, 10x20 and got a license to be a ministery. Then he became tax free...

Point is, start a cult of depression people. There's sure to be people just like you that will come together, and you might could even help somebody and feel great about doing something positive.

Get some big speakers and a permit, go somewhere that makes you comfitable and let it rip. Once you surround yourself with friends, and people that look up to you. You both will feel better.

Oh say, don't forget about passing the plate around. People who think you are special and helping them will give back in return. But have some meaning, don't do it just for the money.

 

tough crowd at church

believe or not its an individual choice...just because someone does not thats their problem...keep your horseshit views to yourself...

church aint got nothing to do with being an asshole with no morals...

Boys I did something I am not proud of and have 1000 dollars now.  I plan on risking 200 per game and becoming rich off of this.  I can do this.  I will not forget you guys.  I am thinking about turning to a full time life of crime but hopefully not.

can you name where this is from?  I like the basic message...

Bet 100 a game at most.

Actually use 500 for something productive and bet 40 a game.

Go to the NHL forum and check out sharpaction - lots of big underdogs that win.  Don't bet favs.  GL.