Posted:
#126
Why you would ask for advice without giving out all the pertinent information to begin with is like betting your whole bankroll on a pick by throwing a dart into the dark. Do you expect a winner?
First you say that a girl you've been dating for a month tells you not to bother her any more after some jealousy issue which you thought was no big deal and what would people advise you should do about it?
Then, you slowly dribble out some very important info which clearly should have been mentioned to begin with. Hey, if the starting QB is out, that clearly makes a big difference! Information matters! Most of your responders assumed that she was the jealous one, when in fact it was you (or so you admitted by taking the blame for the blowup). Lack of information or only partial information is not going to get you intelligent insight to help you...
This "girl" you mentioned just happens to be about 30 years old (lol), and by the way, she has an 8yo child, and by the way, the ex is in prison..... sheesh
Anyway, I must be bored because I am going to throw in my 2 cents worth in the hope that it will help you put the situation into perspective and that you can make better choices going forward.
First, let me just say that if a woman feels that sharing certain information about past relationships is important, it is a stupid-ass thing to tell her you don't want to hear about it. You care about this woman but you don't care to hear about her past if she wants to talk about it? You need to learn how to listen and a little about what is an appropriate response and what isn't. Women want a man who listens, cares, and responds in a positive manner. You failed.
Moving on...you said that everything was going well until this incident. In fact, you were sleeping together... Well, this single incident caused her to tell you to get lost and don't bother her any more! Just how well was everything going? Not very, imo. It seems that her response was very extreme. If you two couldn't get past that single issue, your relationship was doomed from the start. Even if you got back together, what do you think the next storm would bring? Do you need someone in your life who is prone to such extreme response? You're better off losing a little now than losing much more later on....
Personally, I would say that the break-up was a little bit you and a little bit her. It doesn't seem like a good match and some serious issues such as a child and an ex in prison doesn't exactly make for an easy road going forward.
In short, I think you should take her at her word and don't bother her any more and I think you should thank your lucky stars for getting off so easy. You only wasted about a month of your life, you had some fun for your trouble, and hopefully you learned something more about choosing a partner and how to relate with one which will help you make a better go of it next time.
I understand that you really dig this gal, and you think her kid is great. Look at it this way...you made a bet or a play, it was a loser. Move on. Learn, do better next time. Rejection or losing is not fun, but you have to learn to deal with it. I'm pretty sure that if you are willing to work at it, there is a better situation out there for you.
Certainly one a lot better than being told not to bother her any more because you blew it by telling her you didn't want to hear about her past, in spite of your perception that everything was going so well and that you were even sleeping together... That deal was a bust, the sooner you move on, the better for you.
Tell her you are sorry, and that you won't bother her any more. Be friendly and pleasant in the future, but nothing more. Should it happen that after respecting her wish about leaving her alone that SHE initiates a re-do and wants to get together...you and her should have a real heart-to-heart talk...first. Find out what you each want, lay your cards on the table and see if it's even feasible that you could be a couple. If you both really are attracted to each other and you are both willing to do what it takes to make it together, then you have a chance. Otherwise, don't bother!
GOOD LUCK!
First you say that a girl you've been dating for a month tells you not to bother her any more after some jealousy issue which you thought was no big deal and what would people advise you should do about it?
Then, you slowly dribble out some very important info which clearly should have been mentioned to begin with. Hey, if the starting QB is out, that clearly makes a big difference! Information matters! Most of your responders assumed that she was the jealous one, when in fact it was you (or so you admitted by taking the blame for the blowup). Lack of information or only partial information is not going to get you intelligent insight to help you...
This "girl" you mentioned just happens to be about 30 years old (lol), and by the way, she has an 8yo child, and by the way, the ex is in prison..... sheesh
Anyway, I must be bored because I am going to throw in my 2 cents worth in the hope that it will help you put the situation into perspective and that you can make better choices going forward.
First, let me just say that if a woman feels that sharing certain information about past relationships is important, it is a stupid-ass thing to tell her you don't want to hear about it. You care about this woman but you don't care to hear about her past if she wants to talk about it? You need to learn how to listen and a little about what is an appropriate response and what isn't. Women want a man who listens, cares, and responds in a positive manner. You failed.
Moving on...you said that everything was going well until this incident. In fact, you were sleeping together... Well, this single incident caused her to tell you to get lost and don't bother her any more! Just how well was everything going? Not very, imo. It seems that her response was very extreme. If you two couldn't get past that single issue, your relationship was doomed from the start. Even if you got back together, what do you think the next storm would bring? Do you need someone in your life who is prone to such extreme response? You're better off losing a little now than losing much more later on....
Personally, I would say that the break-up was a little bit you and a little bit her. It doesn't seem like a good match and some serious issues such as a child and an ex in prison doesn't exactly make for an easy road going forward.
In short, I think you should take her at her word and don't bother her any more and I think you should thank your lucky stars for getting off so easy. You only wasted about a month of your life, you had some fun for your trouble, and hopefully you learned something more about choosing a partner and how to relate with one which will help you make a better go of it next time.
I understand that you really dig this gal, and you think her kid is great. Look at it this way...you made a bet or a play, it was a loser. Move on. Learn, do better next time. Rejection or losing is not fun, but you have to learn to deal with it. I'm pretty sure that if you are willing to work at it, there is a better situation out there for you.
Certainly one a lot better than being told not to bother her any more because you blew it by telling her you didn't want to hear about her past, in spite of your perception that everything was going so well and that you were even sleeping together... That deal was a bust, the sooner you move on, the better for you.
Tell her you are sorry, and that you won't bother her any more. Be friendly and pleasant in the future, but nothing more. Should it happen that after respecting her wish about leaving her alone that SHE initiates a re-do and wants to get together...you and her should have a real heart-to-heart talk...first. Find out what you each want, lay your cards on the table and see if it's even feasible that you could be a couple. If you both really are attracted to each other and you are both willing to do what it takes to make it together, then you have a chance. Otherwise, don't bother!
GOOD LUCK!
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