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Let's hear your worst experience on an airplane...

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Posted: #26
last night of mardi gras and I have a 10am flight the next day. I decided pulling an all nighter and sleeping on the flight was my best option. I drank hand grenades(grain alcohol drink) all night and blacked out hard. I just made it to the airport in time in the morning. I was puking the whole flight. The old lady next was looking at me like I was the most disgusting person on earth. I filled up about 7 barf bags. I missed the bag as we were landing. Worst part was I had a layover and a connecting flight to deal with also. While waiting for the next flight I started feeling much worse. Luckily O'hare had a doctors office inside of it and I got a few IV's put in me bc of how dehydrated i was.
 
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Posted: #27

Got stuck next to some fat bastard that needed a belt extender. Spent the whole flight sittng on one cheek and with both knees wedged against the person on the other side of me.

fat bastards

belt extenders

 
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Posted: #28

a number of interesting flights actually that i recall,,,,,,,flying between st kitts and i think it was either st thomas or puerto rico.....i climb on board a small 4 seat plane and take a seat immediately behind the pilot seat,,,,a minute or so later the pilot climbs on and tells me its only him and i flying today so if im ready, we can go now,,,,,,,he then does his check list and prepares to take off and right before doing so, he turns and says to me,,,what do you think your doing?  i said, excuse me?,,,he then tells me i have to sit in the seat by the door and hold the door closed or it might blow out,,,i said,,,yeah thats real funny, and he says seriously dude,,the door is not sealing properly and you need to hold it shut,,,,it was only a 20 or so minute flight but i flew holding that damn door closed tight............ 

 

and one other,,,some screwy airline in the middle of kazhakstan,,,,had a triangle and some other backwards letters in the name so i have no idea what the name of the airline even was,,,but a flight between two cities there was in a plane so old it had zero,,absolutely no lights inside----- on a very dark night,,,the flight atttendant said something in russian,,,who knows what she said,,,but complete darkness for a 1 hour flight,,,scared the crap out of me....not to mention it was the middle of july and i nearly froze my ass off getting  off the plane in shorts and a t-shirt and it was about 40 degrees there, it sucked

 
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Posted: #29
Quote Originally Posted by artie-lange:

When I was invited into the cockpit and the pilot asked me if I enjoyed movies about gladiators.




You still got it Artie!
 
Captain
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Posted: #30
Once as a teenager I was flying between Baltimore and Detroit on USair. I was partially asleep and listening to my headphones when the plane suddenly banked to the left, must've been 75 degrees. It was enough where people started screaming. I was in a partial daze and half asleep but shit was falling off peoples trays etc.. I was on the high side and strapped in.. I don't remember anyone falling out of their seats or anything but I do remember being scared shitless. The pilot came over the system saying he got too close behind another plane blah blah turbulance blah blah. Never really knew what happened. The sucky thing was I still had to fly home hahahah.  Not too long after that an USair plane crashed in Pittsburgh and the same thing happened.. the plane uncontrollable jerked and banked to the side. I've heard they had problems when switching off the autopilot with the plane suddenly jerking out of the pilots hands.. but who knows? 
 
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Posted: #31
Not really that bad for me but un enjoyable for those around. Last Nov flying home to CLE from ATL, My buddy & i are sitting taxi on the runway. He has his headphones in & i'm just sitting there farting away the last 3 days worth of beer. So I hear the lady behind me say that something smelled bad, my buddy is giving me that "your ass smells look". So about 15mins go by & i let another rip  & i hear the lady behind me bitching about how bad this plane smelled & how she would not fly coach anymore bla blah blah. So I just kept letting em rip & get recycled in the cabin air  untill we landed, thats all i got.
 
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Posted: #32

Quote Originally Posted by ct216:

Not really that bad for me but un enjoyable for those around. Last Nov flying home to CLE from ATL, My buddy & i are sitting taxi on the runway. He has his headphones in & i'm just sitting there farting away the last 3 days worth of beer. So I hear the lady behind me say that something smelled bad, my buddy is giving me that "your ass smells look". So about 15mins go by & i let another rip  & i hear the lady behind me bitching about how bad this plane smelled & how she would not fly coach anymore bla blah blah. So I just kept letting em rip & get recycled in the cabin air  untill we landed, thats all i got.

asshole

 
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Posted: #33

Cruising at 35,000 feet from Kenya to Ethiopia. Everybody on the airplane is wearing a bed sheet.

 

 
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Posted: #34
I slid passed the runway on LaGuardia in the ice once.  They started to speed up to take off, decided to bail, put on the brakes, slid to past the end of the runway and had to have one of those taxi-vehicle things come and push us backwards back onto the runway and then we went to the gate and deboarded.  We were still on pavement, but passed the point where we could have turned around.  It sucked, but it was better than dying. 
 
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Posted: #35
Bump for Gunners...It was ALMOST halfway down page 2
 
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Posted: #36
I was flying back from vegas with a group of people.

We had rented a car and the driver insisted we all get an "in and out" burger before hitting McCarren

We did, and we ate them just before we boarded

About 15 minutes after that I got the Growl, rumble, growl in my stomach telling me hit the BATHROOM FAST...
I start twitching, I start sweating.....
I couldn't wait any longer

We were still climbing as I got out of my seat, the flight attendant asks me to sit down but I told her I HAD TO hit the bathroom....

Now I am 6'2, 213, so those plane bathrooms are not set up for a big guy like me...

I EXPLODED
I had to hold onto the toilet seat to keep from shooting through the ceiling..........

I KNOW the passengers in the last row heard MY explosion, over the engine noise....

Well when you have one of these eruptions, it takes about a ream of paper to clean up....
I must have wiped for 5 minutes, and I was finally done...

As I walk out of the bathroom, the stewardesses are SPRAYING AIR  FRESHENER around the rear galley ........

I now know why they call it
IN
and
OUT ||scared.gif' border=0>
burger
 
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Posted: #37

Back in my junior year of college me and 5 friends are flying to Miami for spring break.  I had briefly went out with one of the girls going and we were still good friends (occasionally with benefits).  Once in the air she and I had developed a good buzz and decided to make our initiation into the mile high club.  We were sitting close to the back bathroom so it wasn't too obvious when we both went back there.  Getting our timing right I went back first and she followed about 1 min later.  Howevver when I opened the door I caught what was left of a horrible shit somebody took previously.  It was one of those that momentarily makes your eyes water.  I had not seen who it was, but they had left shit splatter on the seat and wall where I suppose they were "hovering" to avoid seat contact.  About that time my "Jane" knocked on the door.  When she opened the door she burst out laughing.  However I was not about to let the opportunity go to waste, so she came in and we started going at it.  Everybody knows how cramped these thing are, so you kind of have to make things fit, and I couldn't really choose where to step. We do our thing and head back to our seats.  I'm feeling like a million bucks as spring break has just barley started and I already have a piece of ass.  This is until I start smelling the poo again.  After about 15 min.  I realize I have shit all over the bottom of my jeans and side of my foot (I was wearing sandals).  I started gagging and threw up between my legs and a little on the chick sitting next to me (she was not in our group).  The flight attendant comes back to assist and starts laughing when she sees whats happened.  Meanwhile the chick next to me is pissed as hell.  I spend the next hour and  half riding in jeans with my vomit and somebody elses shit on them.

 
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Posted: #38
Quote Originally Posted by potter36:

Back in my junior year of college me and 5 friends are flying to Miami for spring break.  I had briefly went out with one of the girls going and we were still good friends (occasionally with benefits).  Once in the air she and I had developed a good buzz and decided to make our initiation into the mile high club.  We were sitting close to the back bathroom so it wasn't too obvious when we both went back there.  Getting our timing right I went back first and she followed about 1 min later.  Howevver when I opened the door I caught what was left of a horrible shit somebody took previously.  It was one of those that momentarily makes your eyes water.  I had not seen who it was, but they had left shit splatter on the seat and wall where I suppose they were "hovering" to avoid seat contact.  About that time my "Jane" knocked on the door.  When she opened the door she burst out laughing.  However I was not about to let the opportunity go to waste, so she came in and we started going at it.  Everybody knows how cramped these thing are, so you kind of have to make things fit, and I couldn't really choose where to step. We do our thing and head back to our seats.  I'm feeling like a million bucks as spring break has just barley started and I already have a piece of ass.  This is until I start smelling the poo again.  After about 15 min.  I realize I have shit all over the bottom of my jeans and side of my foot (I was wearing sandals).  I started gagging and threw up between my legs and a little on the chick sitting next to me (she was not in our group).  The flight attendant comes back to assist and starts laughing when she sees whats happened.  Meanwhile the chick next to me is pissed as hell.  I spend the next hour and  half riding in jeans with my vomit and somebody elses shit on them.




 
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Posted: #39
I ate the chicken and an egg came out of my mouth.
 
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Posted: #40
Quote Originally Posted by potter36:

Back in my junior year of college me and 5 friends are flying to Miami for spring break.  I had briefly went out with one of the girls going and we were still good friends (occasionally with benefits).  Once in the air she and I had developed a good buzz and decided to make our initiation into the mile high club.  We were sitting close to the back bathroom so it wasn't too obvious when we both went back there.  Getting our timing right I went back first and she followed about 1 min later.  Howevver when I opened the door I caught what was left of a horrible shit somebody took previously.  It was one of those that momentarily makes your eyes water.  I had not seen who it was, but they had left shit splatter on the seat and wall where I suppose they were "hovering" to avoid seat contact.  About that time my "Jane" knocked on the door.  When she opened the door she burst out laughing.  However I was not about to let the opportunity go to waste, so she came in and we started going at it.  Everybody knows how cramped these thing are, so you kind of have to make things fit, and I couldn't really choose where to step. We do our thing and head back to our seats.  I'm feeling like a million bucks as spring break has just barley started and I already have a piece of ass.  This is until I start smelling the poo again.  After about 15 min.  I realize I have shit all over the bottom of my jeans and side of my foot (I was wearing sandals).  I started gagging and threw up between my legs and a little on the chick sitting next to me (she was not in our group).  The flight attendant comes back to assist and starts laughing when she sees whats happened.  Meanwhile the chick next to me is pissed as hell.  I spend the next hour and  half riding in jeans with my vomit and somebody elses shit on them.



 
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Posted: #41
great addition Potter.  I'm glad this thread wasn't lost!  I searched for it, and it didn't even show up under "My recent posts" on my "space" thing
 
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Posted: #42
Quote Originally Posted by pjrez:

Bump for Gunners...It was ALMOST halfway down page 2

...
 
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Posted: #43
it seems everytime i post in this, it disappears.  what the fuck?  text post...
 
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Posted: #44

Quote Originally Posted by Gunners:

it seems everytime i post in this, it disappears.  what the fuck?  text post...

OK.  working now.  sorry.  continue with your regularly scheduled internet bullshit

 
Prospect
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Joined: Apr, 2010
Posts: 120
Posted: #45
Quote Originally Posted by CountNo_Account:

I know a guy who with several associates threw another guy out of a helicopter at 1000 feet to see if he could fly...
I was actually skydiving when that guy was thrown out of that chopper, I was able to maneuver over to him & caught him in mid flight, much to my surprise he was my booky, needless to say I was down 6 dimes that week so i just let him go,,,,,,, Winner!!
 
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Posted: #46

Nothing major.....

I was on a Greek airliner (Jet propell) from one of the greek islands.......We were all in the plane ready to taxi from the terminal, the pilot tried to start the plane, it would initially start then turn off,.............he tried about 4-5 times, just like when u try and start the car and it would rev for about 1-2 secs and conk out....

Anyways, the main door opened and i saw a mechanic come in with tools and go into the cockpit, they tried to start another 2-3 times and the same........we then heard some banging in the cockpit and it eventually started........boy i was nervous that trip.

Another time, flying Qantas from Sydney to perth, we were all ready to go......then the hostess comes on the announcer and says, we will be delayed by another 30 mins as the ground engineers forgot to put fuel in the plane.........

 
Legend
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Posted: #47
Quote Originally Posted by Syddigs:

Any time I have been stupid enough to fly with American Airlines. 3 hour flights are 2 hours late. 

Worst airline on the planet.

same thing with me anytime i've flown them

 
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Posted: #48
Quote Originally Posted by Rostos:

Nothing major.....

I was on a Greek airliner (Jet propell) from one of the greek islands.......We were all in the plane ready to taxi from the terminal, the pilot tried to start the plane, it would initially start then turn off,.............he tried about 4-5 times, just like when u try and start the car and it would rev for about 1-2 secs and conk out....

Anyways, the main door opened and i saw a mechanic come in with tools and go into the cockpit, they tried to start another 2-3 times and the same........we then heard some banging in the cockpit and it eventually started........boy i was nervous that trip.

Another time, flying Qantas from Sydney to perth, we were all ready to go......then the hostess comes on the announcer and says, we will be delayed by another 30 mins as the ground engineers forgot to put fuel in the plane.........

she probably should have left that part out, lol

 
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Posted: #49
Had a flight from Miami to New York in august 2009, coincidentally my last flight since. 

I am one of those guys that likes to eye my passengers while we're waiting for boarding. So, I spotted this cuban couple with their two little kids, and i can see they were arguing with each other about some trivial crap. Of course, the rows start getting called out and we're boarding. I am a few rows behind these guys in coach, and everything is fine until the baby starts crying. We are in the middle of taking off in the runway and the dad starts hitting the kid. As we finally start flying, the wife starts bitch slapping him and starts calling for help from the stewardesses, "CHILD ABUSE! MISS! CHILD ABUSE." They get separated for the rest of the flight but I thought these dumb fucks would crash our plane from their paranoid shit.

That's not the kicker though. Apparently, the day before my flight, there was a continental airlines flight (also my airline) that was heading to brazil on the same jet stream and they had some crazy turbulence that knocked out the oxygen masks and luggage. I had no idea about this because i usually like to tune out shit before my flights. So an hour into the flight, everything is going smoothly. I am thinking the worst was over with the dumbass couple and the other two hours will be easy. 

No, the plane starts rocking back and forth, going way up and down, never adjusting equilibrium. Every 15 minutes, the captain is going on the intercom telling us we are just experiencing turbulence and we just need seatbelts fastened. After all this shit, they start playing their movie on the flight, and it's fucking STAR TREK. So not only are we tilting and dropping like a rollercoaster, but we are also watching space ships get blown up. I don't need to see that shit when I am seeing my cabin shake like crazy.

When we landed, of course the couple starts hugging and smooching because this "almost disaster" made them closer together. I, barf my lungs out and refuse to fly planes again unless I map out the weather of the atlantic ocean and my destination. Thank god I didn't hear about the Brazilian flight or i would have shit my pants.
 
 
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Posted: #50
Quote Originally Posted by potter36:

Back in my junior year of college me and 5 friends are flying to Miami for spring break.  I had briefly went out with one of the girls going and we were still good friends (occasionally with benefits).  Once in the air she and I had developed a good buzz and decided to make our initiation into the mile high club.  We were sitting close to the back bathroom so it wasn't too obvious when we both went back there.  Getting our timing right I went back first and she followed about 1 min later.  Howevver when I opened the door I caught what was left of a horrible shit somebody took previously.  It was one of those that momentarily makes your eyes water.  I had not seen who it was, but they had left shit splatter on the seat and wall where I suppose they were "hovering" to avoid seat contact.  About that time my "Jane" knocked on the door.  When she opened the door she burst out laughing.  However I was not about to let the opportunity go to waste, so she came in and we started going at it.  Everybody knows how cramped these thing are, so you kind of have to make things fit, and I couldn't really choose where to step. We do our thing and head back to our seats.  I'm feeling like a million bucks as spring break has just barley started and I already have a piece of ass.  This is until I start smelling the poo again.  After about 15 min.  I realize I have shit all over the bottom of my jeans and side of my foot (I was wearing sandals).  I started gagging and threw up between my legs and a little on the chick sitting next to me (she was not in our group).  The flight attendant comes back to assist and starts laughing when she sees whats happened.  Meanwhile the chick next to me is pissed as hell.  I spend the next hour and  half riding in jeans with my vomit and somebody elses shit on them.

holy crap that's brutal buddy

 

but

 

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