Need some cat advice

After living on my own for 4 years I got stuck in a sticky situation where I had to move in with my older sister and her husband. They invited me in their home, and i'm really only paying for the food I eat so it's a perfect time for me to save some cash.

They have 2 cats. and I am NOT a cat person at all! They are fucking shitty, well, I can tolerate them, but i have always said 'why get a cat when you can get a dog?'  1 of the cats is pretty cool and is very much like a dog, fuckin thing even plays fetch.  But the other one is a complete prick and doesn't seem to like me at all.

I guess he's scared of me and is being territorial, or some shit but what am i suppose to do here?


Is there anything I can do to make this little piece of shit cat to like me?  or even better is there a way i can get him to just leave me alone?

NO....   cats are fickel, and as you found territorial.  I would start by closing your door when you masterbate.

I grew up in a house with 2 cats, and one of my friends told me a cats eyes are the deads viewing portal.  Of course only the dead that know you would watch you.  

I like cats alot, but no sex and no self-play with those fuckers in eye distance.  TRUST!!!

I own a dog now... my avitar has NOTHING to do with this post....

Fockin wierd now that I think about it.

Or put headphones on the little feline like the guy above.....

 

Cats crave attenion.....if you want the little guy to like you then give it some attention....maybe get some catnip or catnip toys...one thing that I have found that cat love is fucking beef jerky...

Get some sliced turkey meat.  Break off a few pieces and give it to the little fuck.

He'll love you forever.

whenever i try to get close to him, he gets pissed!
should i even try to approach him or should I wait for him to get used to me?

 

I fucking hate cats so much, I couldn't live there.  I seriously fucking hate them and everyone says 'my cats so sweet you'll love it' and I think they can sense that I want to boot them across the room because they don't like me.  And if one of them did start scratching at me or something naturally I would probably kick it, then I'm the asshole because I kicked your stupid cat.

I hate no fucking idea what you should do... I mean I had a solution, but there was a youtube video posted of someone doing it and people weren't too happy about it. Kidding, I like animals more than that.... but fuck cats.

I thought you were looking for a marinade, I've got nothing.

Sounds like you should give it drugs (catnip) and food.

I'm a feline expert.  I've owned over 75 cats in my day.

One thing ALL cats love is a special snack.  I make my own using a mix of oatmeal, mayonnaise, hot sauce, fruit loops and creamed corn.  You mash it all up in a blender and serve the cat one dish per day.  Not only will he be vibrant and healthy but he'll show you lots of affection for serving him such a tasty treat.  It's "Win-Win"

i hate cats too... one word --- microwave.  Just joking but seriously, you ahve a good thing going there, just try to stay away from that cat or give the cat treats..

Ice-

We have two cats...and they can be a little pissy.  Lucky for us, both of ours are like dogs.  One of 'em actually sits between our double sink when we get ready in the morning and likes to play "hockey" with pretty much anything that is on the sink.  They both meet us at the door when we got home....ALL the time.  They come when you call 'em as well. 

My best advice is to pay attention to them both when you can.  Not over the top, but talk to 'em when they are hanging around.  Just be available, but don't crowd 'em.  We adopted the black cat in our avatar a couple of years ago.  He was skittish as all get out.  But we just took out time and now he's a gem.  They will let you know when they want their own time.  But once you win them over, they will be great friends.  Just takes time.  Be interested....just don't over crowd them.  GL

thats probably be the best approach to me nice...

Give it sum treats or buy it kind of toy

the real question is why the heck to do need this cat to like you? it's a just a cat, at the worst it's going to hiss at you a couple times and ignore you. does your history have any cases of abandonment or lack of human contact? are there any recent loses of someone close to you? is there anything in your past that might have increased your need to have people and even animals like you? 

shit boys this cat just straight fuckin hates me!

So i get home from work yesterday and and the 2 cats meet me at the door, i sit down at the step and let the shitty little guy come check me out and he gets close enough just to take a bite out of me.

I sit down on the couch and the thing walks around my feet and smells me and shit, so i thought i was making progress, so i gt him some treats. i'm sitting there feeding this thing treats out of my hand and everything is cool, then i close the bag of treats, and try to show the little guy that i'm not so bad and he fuckin takes a swat at me.

So i say fuck this and head to the basement.  later on i go up stairs to take a piss and once i go in the bathroom i hear the thing get off the couch, down the hallway and wait outside the bathroom for me. once i stepped outside the bathroom, it took a swat at me.

My sister is pretty cool and chilled but she was beside herself last night because she's scared that the little basterd is going to seriously attack/hurt me some day when she's not there.


after only 3 days, i'm really considering finding somewhere else to live..   This situation seems to be getting shittyer and shittyer

I don't need the cat to like me! i just wish it would fuckin leave me alone

let me get this straight meow, you need protection from a cat? A cat jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Meow, does this cat drink milk from a saucer? Do you ever see it eating mice?  If so you're acting sorta wimpy, meow.

Funny shit. Great thread.

Just ignore it. The more you give it attention the more it will fuck w/u.  Then all of a sudden one day it will love you.  Cats are kinda like women, a bit psychotic...

My ultimate nightmare.

Fucking cats where I live... I couldn't do it, so I don't blame you if you move because of the cats.


Have you seen them eat yet?  Ugh it's so gross... they have that gross little mouth with big teeth and their always eating garbage or a rotten animal or something, bah, I could puke thinking about it.

catch a lizard outside or another such-sized critter.

toss it to the little guy and he'll quit worrying about you and destroy the doomed creature.

Cats are pretty cool unless your the type who begs for attention from their animal.  I actually prefer cats over dogs.  I hate it how dogs beg for food from you anytime you eat something in front of them.  That shit is annoying...

Lizards are > and than cats.

Make it a komodo dragon and watch it destroy the disgusting feline. 

Put tin foil on it's feet and then set him down.....you will have a great show and he will then know who's boss....

 

If that doesn't work...tie a toy with a bell on it's coller and watch the fun....