Need some cat advice

After living on my own for 4 years I got stuck in a sticky situation where I had to move in with my older sister and her husband. They invited me in their home, and i'm really only paying for the food I eat so it's a perfect time for me to save some cash.

They have 2 cats. and I am NOT a cat person at all! They are fucking shitty, well, I can tolerate them, but i have always said 'why get a cat when you can get a dog?'  1 of the cats is pretty cool and is very much like a dog, fuckin thing even plays fetch.  But the other one is a complete prick and doesn't seem to like me at all.

I guess he's scared of me and is being territorial, or some shit but what am i suppose to do here?


Is there anything I can do to make this little piece of shit cat to like me?  or even better is there a way i can get him to just leave me alone?

NO....   cats are fickel, and as you found territorial.  I would start by closing your door when you masterbate.

I grew up in a house with 2 cats, and one of my friends told me a cats eyes are the deads viewing portal.  Of course only the dead that know you would watch you.  

I like cats alot, but no sex and no self-play with those fuckers in eye distance.  TRUST!!!

I own a dog now... my avitar has NOTHING to do with this post....

Fockin wierd now that I think about it.

Or put headphones on the little feline like the guy above.....

Cats crave attenion.....if you want the little guy to like you then give it some attention....maybe get some catnip or catnip toys...one thing that I have found that cat love is fucking beef jerky...

Get some sliced turkey meat.  Break off a few pieces and give it to the little fuck.

He'll love you forever.

whenever i try to get close to him, he gets pissed!
should i even try to approach him or should I wait for him to get used to me?

Ice-

We have two cats...and they can be a little pissy.  Lucky for us, both of ours are like dogs.  One of 'em actually sits between our double sink when we get ready in the morning and likes to play "hockey" with pretty much anything that is on the sink.  They both meet us at the door when we got home....ALL the time.  They come when you call 'em as well. 

My best advice is to pay attention to them both when you can.  Not over the top, but talk to 'em when they are hanging around.  Just be available, but don't crowd 'em.  We adopted the black cat in our avatar a couple of years ago.  He was skittish as all get out.  But we just took out time and now he's a gem.  They will let you know when they want their own time.  But once you win them over, they will be great friends.  Just takes time.  Be interested....just don't over crowd them.  GL

shit boys this cat just straight fuckin hates me!

So i get home from work yesterday and and the 2 cats meet me at the door, i sit down at the step and let the shitty little guy come check me out and he gets close enough just to take a bite out of me.

I sit down on the couch and the thing walks around my feet and smells me and shit, so i thought i was making progress, so i gt him some treats. i'm sitting there feeding this thing treats out of my hand and everything is cool, then i close the bag of treats, and try to show the little guy that i'm not so bad and he fuckin takes a swat at me.

So i say fuck this and head to the basement.  later on i go up stairs to take a piss and once i go in the bathroom i hear the thing get off the couch, down the hallway and wait outside the bathroom for me. once i stepped outside the bathroom, it took a swat at me.

My sister is pretty cool and chilled but she was beside herself last night because she's scared that the little basterd is going to seriously attack/hurt me some day when she's not there.


after only 3 days, i'm really considering finding somewhere else to live..   This situation seems to be getting shittyer and shittyer

catch a lizard outside or another such-sized critter.

toss it to the little guy and he'll quit worrying about you and destroy the doomed creature.

Put tin foil on it's feet and then set him down.....you will have a great show and he will then know who's boss....

If that doesn't work...tie a toy with a bell on it's coller and watch the fun....