Pitching a tent with the family for the holidays.

To be honest, before I opened this thread, I was expecting to read a story about eating Thanksgiving dinner with the family out on the front lawn or some shit like that..

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

Ya couldn't leave well enough alone now could ya Salty.

(1)Now let's get to the events leading up to the alleged 'woody' you've been bragging about.

(2)You claim your house is so overcrowded, you had to settle for the couch. No time of arrival was provided but let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was late Wednesday. So who are these guests staying in your lifelong sleeping quarters? Why are there so many people over

(3)Moreover, where did you get the 1/5th of the Bombay gin you claim put you into an inebriated stupor? Did you travel with an open alcoholic container in your car (illegal) or fly with it (again illegal)? Was it your parents who had the gin on hand?

(4)Now onto the 11am wake-up time on Thanksgiving...

You're saying a 5th of a bottle of gin had you sleeping through the following:

1) Everyone waking up and showerin

3) People knocking on doors/taking off their coats/wiping their feet , people who are probably quite loquacious given they usually don't see eachother for some extended period of time

(5) These alleged 'woodys' are scientifically proven to happen during REM sleep in which intense dreams occur along with facial twitching. Did anyone see you twitching on the couch with your woody Salty?

Do you expect us to believe all of the above along with the fact your deepest stage of sleep was occurring at 11 am in the morning? What were you dreaming about Salty?

(6)It's 11am and 20 people are there (of whose arrival you slept through) and 5 or 6 are getting ready to watch the Pats/Lions game

Those are some dedicated fans Salty! Milling around someone else's living room an hour and a half before kick-off!

(7)Then you laid there until the erection went away. Did Ryan Seacrest's voice inspire or dull the erection? You tell me. 

(8)You're covers credibility is on the line here Salty.

(1) Actually its not a bragging story but more of a rare awkward event that I went through(2) Well we actually have a large family unlike you and your parents who made a mistake with you being the only child because your father is not skilled in the art of pulling outAnd I happen to be the only one who is still not tied down by a wife and kids so I get the couch and the 2 extra bedrooms go to my sister and her 2 kids( her husband had to work so he did not make the trip) And then the other extra bedroom goes to my other older sister and her husband. We also have my aunts and uncles who choose to come havehave Thanksgiving at my moms which I dont understand why thats so hard to believe and yes we were supposed to eat around 1pm but people come early sometimes you jackass(3) My family is a long line of partiers and there is no holiday gathering without a damn near full stocked bar. There was a brand new bottle of Bombay and I was drinking it on the rocks. Nothing out of the ordinary for me at these times or any time for that matter. And me like my two older sisters got here on Wednesday afternoon/night(4) Well I have the good fortune of not having to work right now until around Febuary and I never really get to bed till 4-5-6am and sleep till 2-3pm. Thats just how I roll right now.And I sleep like a dead guy so all that shit going on at 8-9-10am goes unoticed by my drunk ass going to bed at 6amIts a 2700 square foot house and people taking showers do not affect people in the living room like they do in your trailerI really dont think my sister had her two kids up in her room performing child pornAnd If my other brother in law pounded the meat Wendnesday night more power to him but I really am not in the loop of changing the sheets at my moms house(5) You know i really dont know what I was dreaming about beacause I rarely remember any of my dreams. And as far as anyone mentioning my face twitching that is retarted because if they saw my boner which Im sure everyone did I doubt face twitching would come up(6) You know I wouldnt expect you to know what its like to be a part of a family that gets along but people st around and bullshit like they give a fuck about football when I am the only one who bets(7) No me waking up and realizing my d*ck was hard and im not alone did that for me. All I could do was turn over and act like it was a sleep move and get up like nothong was strange(8) My covers credibility? You do realize my mishap has to do with a boner right?You have foiled another case here scalabrine, you must be a private eye who just dabbles here on coversCOVERS MODS- Hire this guy ASAP before the FBI snatches him up!

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

Let him respond to the bananas flambe argument before you defend him ... and liquor stores that sell gin have a closing time...if he arrived late wednesday, they wouldn't be open...let's see what he comes up with 

Well scal I can handle a little more alcohol than you do when you splurge and get a 4 pack of Bartles and James and when I arrived There was a WIDE assortment to choose from AT THE HOUSE!

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

Not sure if this took place in Arkansas or not

She calls someone out for not knowing the facts yet prefaces her argument with "Not sure" if this is even true

Even if it was in Central time, there were a lot of TV theatrics that occurred after 12:30 EST including an extended National Anthem so the game probably got underway at 12:45...So that's 45 minutes of milling around a living room amongst a drunk slob with a boner...the argument still holds up...now get the fuck out of here...Salty is still tied up to a chair in a damp cellar with a dim lightbulb handing over his head and has a burning cigarette that's about to touch his cheek unless these questions get answers... 

It is just outside of Little Rock you douche and yes its Central Time Mr Know it all

And when you lay down at 6 am, 11am is not that early and like I said I am damn near dead to the world when I sleep especially after drinking

Quote Originally Posted by CountNo_Account:

scab gets aroused analyzing a boner thread...

What a trailer park New Jersey douche

Quote Originally Posted by scalabrine:

and now you're here doing the    same    exact    thing

I read that and all I heard from you was I am rubber and your glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!

Proto, good to see you out of your main thread

Sometimes the oddest embarrasing things are the most entertaining

What else you got Scaly?

How many more angles do you want to approach my BONER