Sacrifice gambling to help a friend

Kaufee, this is the shitty part .............

Your friend could have the best intentions in the world ....

But, you better believe he's going to make sure he has HIS drugs and drinks before you see a dime ....

It's just the way it goes ... He probably has no idea what's going on.

Honestly, i think tough love would have worked better ... "why does this place look like such shit? why do you look like such shit? Are you drinking and drugging everyday? Look at this fucking place .... You can't even take care of your apartment ... how the hell are you going to find a job and all of that?????"

Your friend is an alky. IMHO.  

You did what you could though. You're a good guy.

i hear ya kauf. you did good and now you feel better. trust me i know how that goes. no matter what your boy does you did good for you. just dont go beyond your means thats all but im sure you know all this...

i knew depression was the big thing here after hearing about the cc debt. sounded like it. depression in your mid 30s and after being mentally "on top" can be tough to get past. trust me, been there to and am finally getting past it but it was a mind f*ck and i know not many can do it...hense...o.g. protos troubled waters thread...

youre a good guy, someone in here said to keep pushin him. do it. if he gets thru this, which he easily can do, his appreciation will show and you will feel damn proud of yourself. if his life continues to spiral downhill now its because he refuses to be responsible and let his negativity get the better of him. but at least you maintained your principles and feel no regret about you. 

tell your friend to understand itll take about a yr of sacrifice and doing any job(s) neccessary to get on happy grounds again and then about another 6mths to a yr to completely get back to where all is good. but thats way better then giving up and destroying the rest of life. depression is rough when dealing with humble pie, but can be beaten. keep him staying positive, saying f it, and remind him he has a pair of cojones... 

I think you are a good man to come to your friends aid. You need to be realistic that you may never see the $$$ again (contract or not and I would not have written one, rather have his word between friends).  I did this for two different friends and it took each of them between 3-5 years to pay back but they did. Mentally, I kissed it goodbye the day I sent it to them and this helped me not get pissed about it.

My major advice is tell your wife because she has already voiced opinon on the subject (if not you could have let it ride and hope she did not find out and explain as needed, but since she has you need to tell her). No matter how unpleasant it is, it will be much worse if she finds out later. Instead of costing you 5K in a bad debt it could cost you her trust or worse-half of your net worth.  Just do it!

I eventually had to draw the line.  He got out of rehab and a buddy let him stay with him for a month....but that was it.  The 30 days were up and I volunteered nothing.  He ended up having to sleep at various relatives houses while he found a place.  Now he has one and actually has 2 jobs.  So I'm hopeful.  Hope your friend doesn't take advantage of your generosity.

Mrs.Kaufee didn't come on Covers to check line moves on Steelers/49ers?

There might be some guys on Covers she don't want you loaning money to either.

Well, as I've said in this thread, a friend of mine got himself in all sorts of money problems.  Now he owes the IRS so he can't even open a bank account or they take all his money.

Got this from today:

I know it is a pain in the ass to cash my crap for me, but I am in a little jam. I get paid Friday, but have to basically work Fri and Sat the hours that the check cashing place is open...do you mind grabbing some cash and I will track you down and sign my check over...should be around $500. Lemme know...thx, eb

It always starts out, "I'm in a little jam."  In a jam when he was in rehab.  In a jam when he couldn't afford to get his car fixed (his parents still owe me $650).  In a jam needing a car.  In a jam to get his checks cashed.  In a jam for gas money.  In a jam because he had no money to have his cat put down (she couldn't walk).