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Lets hear your best hooker story

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Captain
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Posted: #1
I've never used the services of a hooker but I sure would like to hear some stories from those who have.
 
Captain
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Posted: #2
Top 3 threads in the box right now =
 
1) whiskey
2) person
3) football
 
 
Last night was
 
1) wedding rings
2) apples
3) pets
 
 
All is right in the penalty box world
 
Legend
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Posted: #3
Bagel Sandwiches Suck
 
Captain
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Posted: #4
You see the method to my madness? 
 
Veteran
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Posted: #5
Quote Originally Posted by jasonwhitesknee:

I've never used the services of a hooker but I sure would like to hear some stories from those who have.

 

 
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Posted: #6
hookers
whiskey
football
 
Hall of Fame
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Posted: #7
Happy endings
Costco
 
MVP
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Posted: #8
I went to a strip club with buddies not even thinking about anything except watching girls dance.We were there for a couple of hours when a dancer coming off stage to say thanks for the tips sat on my lap and asked if I was interested in "tipping"her out.I had no clue what it meant so I said sure.She asked if I cared if one of her gfs came along.No problem here..needless to say,I was 23 or 24 at the time and it was probably the best grand I ever spent.
 
Legend
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Posted: #9
Hookers with more then 3 teeth
 
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Posted: #10
My buddie knows a hooker website which compares notes.  Which one does what with a rating system.
 
"Just show up at midnight wearing a Wonderwoman costume"
 
MVP
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Posted: #11
me and my buddy took this girl down to Adelitas. She claimed to be a "good girl". We payed the person to take her upstairs while we watched. After they were done my buddy banged the person and I fucked the girl in the bathroom.

Adelitas
Buying the girls a $12 beer there
 
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Posted: #12
Quote Originally Posted by jay10:

I went to a strip club with buddies not even thinking about anything except watching girls dance.We were there for a couple of hours when a dancer coming off stage to say thanks for the tips sat on my lap and asked if I was interested in "tipping"her out.I had no clue what it meant so I said sure.She asked if I cared if one of her gfs came along.No problem here..needless to say,I was 23 or 24 at the time and it was probably the best grand I ever spent.



Don't go into too much detail... you might sound cool.
 
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Posted: #13
never did the hooker thing either...wonder how much it costs to piss on a quality looking person?
 
and would there be an additional charge to bring a dog and piss on it as she watched?
 
 
 
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Posted: #14

my story is long and i dont want my future wife to see my crazy past(she knows but not the the detials) i will post on monday, sunday if i have the chance(and...i will use spell check)

 
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Posted: #15
Quote Originally Posted by PGdad:

never did the hooker thing either...wonder how much it costs to piss on a quality looking person?
 
and would there be an additional charge to bring a dog and piss on it as she watched?
 
 

How about the person pisses on you while the dog drinks your beer and watches you cry.
 
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Posted: #16
wtf...why would i pay for something like that.
 
 
 
 
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Posted: #17
about 7 years ago I flew into phoenix on business...the night before leaving I had the shuttle driver from the hotel bring me out to a bar he recommended in scottsdale...I asked him if he was busy, if he could hang out and wait for me in the van so I wouldn't need to call a cab if I wanted to go elsewhere, he said that was fine so I gave him a $50 and he brought me around to 2 other bars he knew of, since I had no idea where to go out in arizona...I tried hooking up the legit way but no luck, by the end of the night I was super drunk and went back to the hotel....I called an escort service in the yellow pages and ordered a blonde...I was passing out but trying to stay awake, I vaguely remember the knock on the door when the hooker showed up, I kind of remember letting her in the room, but passed out and remember nothing after....the next day I woke up late and hungover, scrambling around packing my things and rushed out to the airport....I had remembered barely the end of the night and the hooker, I just figured I passed out and she must have ust left....when I got home I went online and checked my mastercard...she charged $1000 to it.
 
I wonder how good I was ....must have been her best client of the night, she didn't even need to take her clothes off....all she needed was a pen and paper to write down my credit card number.
 
she must have taken lessons from my wife...no sex and take all my money.
 
 
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i haven't been yet. only 20, but i feel like the occasion hasn't come up yet
 
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Posted: #19
who had the mexican hooker story?
 
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Posted: #20
robbie that is brutal
 
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Posted: #21
Quote Originally Posted by SecondAgain:

who had the mexican hooker story?
 
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Posted: #22
Chillin' late night in Vegas... at O'Shea's... waiting to get some breakfast at Burger King.
 
Asian broad comes walking in, looking really really friendly... yea... she was working. I just one some money at the tables... yea... it was on.
 
Took her back to the Harrah's and got my cock gobbled in the bathroom, while my homies were watching ESPN. Hilarious shit, gave her the man-chowder sitting on the toliet, felt like Too Short.
 
 
                                            
 
 
 
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Posted: #23
Quote Originally Posted by jasonwhitesknee:

I've never used the services of a hooker but I sure would like to hear some stories from those who have.

You lie like a dog my friend!!!!         

Like the homey robbie from Kazakhstan say and I'm paraphrasing here gentlemen.

You pay for the poonanny indirectly anyway... taking the old ball and chain to dinner, getting they nails done, yada yada yada...you know. I've never felt bad getting a working girl... hooker suggests suomething wrong... I'm a capitalist and an American, and its the oldest profession. Fuck it.

 
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Posted: #24
20 yrs ago i was visiting friend in d.c for weekend....he had a thing for hookers.....we went to bars..on sat night....we got smashed on way home we smoked a funny cig...i passed out....that fucker went to hooker row.......busted....under cover cop....and they busted me...spent the weekend in jail.......went to court......i was found guilty..the judge said....if you werent picking up ....and i quote...box...you wouldnt have been in the car....my friend even said i wasnt involved...just drunk and passed out....that shit cost me 800.00 with fines and bull shit..........at the price of a hooker then about 50.00....look at how many blow jobs i payed for and....didnt get
 
 
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Posted: #25
This is not mine but a buddies of mine story..........Actually 2 of my buddies storys. I am still 24 and not at that point where i have to pay for poon yet...I will someday...Asian massage parlor for sure.
 
story #1
My buddy  is a Marine and will visiting Califonia he picks up a hooker near the beach (he was by himself)...So he takes her to his car and gives her $100 to fuck. He says she was cute but he would fuck any thing that has a hot hole. So he was getting the best fuckin blowjob of his life and then wants to fuck.. The chick was wearing a skirt I guess and he wants to fuck her but she keeps on telling him to fuck her in the ass. SO he  then grabs for her box and grabs a big hot steaming bowl of cock.... SO then he tell me, he said fuck it...Let the she-man finish sucking his cock and peace. Why he would admit this story baffles me to this day. And I so fucking believe..
 
Number #2----This story is wrong not juicy
My buddie in Mexico picks up a decent chick to fuck in mexico for $30 bucks. Takes her in the back but yet had dick problems the whole time. He said he went through  like 4 condoms. Whats fucked up is his chick was at this club called the Jungle waiting for him with her friends.... Buddy got some balls.
 
 
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