Okay Assholes!!!

I bet he cried   

@Cranky_Hank  remember your posts from ?   was it baseball ...  said i remember but didn't say when .. man i need some prevagen

No pics

never happened 

Chances are he strained,sprained,pulled or broke some body part while attempting to dance 

His L5 vertebra slipped and fell off and fell down towards his sphinct and he “ passed it “ through the rectum damn near killed ‘em and now he is the proud parent of a not brand new but fucked up lumbar spine shrapnel piece while at the same time he’s getting multitudes of calls from paleontologists around the world looking to bid on that old relic dinosaur artifact …..

that “ dancing “ cost him a lot but ironically could make him rich . So is life . 

You’re celebrating the fact that a somewhat balding older man that loves Italian croon music birthed part of his spinal column from the opening of his poopchute ?

Or that he made an extravagant amount of cash by selling his osteoporosis plagued archaic bone structure to the science community and became rich off of that transaction thus enabling him to finally by that Miata dream car of his ?

I can imagine him driving down the open road in that convertible son of a bitch like he was Brad Wesley in the original Roadhouse almost crashing into you and running you off the road in the process bigred ….

ya feel me ?

so which are you exuberantly jigging to mister balti has more crack houses than any other city in da country ?

you gots alots of splainin’to do …..

Not a city boy,

Suburbia Montgomery county,

second biggest city in the state,

farmland still to this day....

Germantown...my hometown...

I betcha that you milked a whole bunch of cows back in your day …..

and by that I mean the obvious but also that you jizzzed your semen upon a great smorgasbord and plethora of portly country gals too …..

that really probably needed your lovin’ at the time to make themselves feel better about themselves , because first and foremost there’s not too many opportunities to see people out there in the sticks , so that they can get attention , but also because they somehow most likely felt overweight or bad about themselves body wise because they had subscriptions to Mademoiselle magazine , and let’s be honest , the ladies that you see in those advertisements aren’t quite what you’d call normal or average , bulimia and anorexia nervosa aside …..

ya dig ?

It was a disastrous move on his part to do The Monkey while under the influence 

I’m told I actually did pretty good elements of the moonwalk.

@lbcake

 
My daughter actually spent a year studying in England in High School.  A foreign exchange program of some sort.  She still comments on how terrible a cook the mum of the house was!  She’d boil all sorts of cabbage and root vegetables for every evening meal.  My daughter still gets nausea when she smells boiled cabbage.

I don’t know my England geography but she stayed close to the white cliffs of Dover, a famous WW2 song.  A friend she made while in England was a wonderful fellow named Michael.  He came and attended the wedding.  He had long scraggly blond hair and a beard when I saw him in the days leading up to the wedding.  He shared stories of my daughter’s fearlessness confronting rude Scots on a trip to Scotland.

Anyways, he looked like something the cat drug in until the wedding.  He morphed into an English gentleman complete with a 3 piece wool suit, vest and all, perfectly coiffed hair and even a waxed handlebar mustache.  He explained that was the traditional attire worn to weddings in England.  He looked marvelous.

 Cliffs of Dover

I know a guy from England . A real nice and sweet gentleman .

He’s a decent man and a good fellow that always wears shiny dress shoes no matter the occasion , and in my opinion he is always presenting himself very well with his nice suit pants that accentuate his bum and stuff .

I love to hear him speak too . It’s intoxicating .

His name is Richard .

But I call him TittyGlocks .

I had him spitting up his effeminate spritzer drink one night when I rapped in his voice and made a song about how his big nipples get really hard in the cold weather and look like gun turrets . 

Ah good times .

Except when I was chosen with the task of playing defensive back and covering him while he played wide receiver in a game of backyard football . Not just because the guy is quick and gets in and out of his jukes with those fast twitch squirrel moves that he’s got , but because when he went up “ and Mossed me “ for that touchdown that one time I caught one of his big nipples in my eye . My vision hasn’t been the same since .

fuck you Richard . I was 20/20 . 

 My hero

 As CNN goes bankrupt now

 The Elite

 here goes

I went to the track a couple of times with a guy named Gankis . Dude wore a leather coat every month of the year . That down passed the calf kinda length coat that makes you feel uneasy like he’s about to pull a Kyle Reese and whip out a shotgun and start destroying cyborgs or some shit . I never fully trusted that dude even though we hung out quite a bit for a short period of time . It wasn’t just the weird glimmer in his eyes that looked like he was marinated in evil , or that he drove a white Cadillac with chrome rims that he endlessly played “ Mother ‘93 “ by Danzig in , on his stereo , on a loop , even though he lived in the hood , nope , it wasn’t any of that , but in fact it was his random flying kicks to the liver that he would deliver to strangers or friends alike . How can you relax and chill and feel good about the company you are keeping when you always have to keep a side eye on a motherfucker cuz you never know when he’s gonna burst on the scene with a flying Bruce Lee type kick to your appendix ? Yo fuck that guy . It wasn’t Enter the Dragon with that guy it was Enter the Emergency Room cuz he was dangerous , and put me in more than a few too real and dangerous situations . Plus I just couldn’t get passed the fact that the dude ALWAYS had a cokebooger in his nose . Real talk .